In two days, millions of non-Irish folks around the world will gather in inauthentic “pubs” for a day of drunken debauchery in the name of St. Patrick. In Miami, however, Tyler, The Creator and his Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All collective will (sweaty) dick slap the Big Mango…
In New Jersey, Whitney Houston is spinning in her grave and violently vomiting over her own corpse, filling the oak casket to the brim. This is the posthumous reaction to news that Bobbi Kristina and her “adopted” brother, Nick Gordon, may be having an “incestuous” affair. According to TMZ, Kristina…
Bro, what a mission! We just moved into a new place outside the city limits y los vesinos are already starting to piss us off. They’ve got three huge dogs, one of which insists on barking super early in the morning while the other two stare us down through a…
The Fair. Holy nostalgia. First make out session? Ferris wheel, Miami-Dade County Fair and Expo. First cigarette? Parking lot, Miami-Dade County Fair and Expo. First open cattle show? You guessed it, the World of Agriculture at Miami-Dade County Fair and Expo. Seemingly every major milestone in our lifetime has happened…
Well before we jumped into this writing gig, a career as a professional locker room attendant on the ATP Tour was high on our list of potential job routes. The humble task of folding towels for a living seemed like an honest way of making a buck, the type of…
Eight best Winter Music Conference cruises March 17 to 23
Winter Music Conference yacht parties March 16 to 25
Justice at Ultra March 24
Juan Luis Guerra at American Airlines Arena March 17
Tony Bennett at Hard Rock Live March 16
Four swag suggestions for Odd Future’s Adult Swim series, Loiter Squad
You’re probably scratching your head right now and thinking, didn’t Ashanti die in a Bahamian airplane crash? No. That was Aaliyah, the other “A-something” from the ’90s. Ashanti actually resurfaced last year after a three-year hiatus with “Never Too Far Away,” the title track off 2011’s psychological thriller Dream House…
Pitbull is the latest celebrity victim of a cyber-bullying attack. The 31-year-old rapper was virtually panned on YouTube by an “underage” kid who calls himself the “#1 Taylor Swift Fan.” YouTube user F7Mx shits on everything from Pit’s lyrics to his Spanglish catchphrases, even questions Armando Christian Perez’s decision to…
See Crossfade’s five favorite covers performed by Muppets. Courtney Love, seemingly always pissed and relentlessly exploiting her late husband’s name, is accusing Jim Henson’s Muppets of rape. According to TMZ, “Love believes Kermit the Frog and his gang of Muppet friends ‘raped’ the memory of her late husband Kurt Cobain”…
Do you support the Occupy Miami movement but hate living in a half-abandoned Overtown apartment complex? Are you and/or your friends “dying to get arrested” in the name of socioeconomic equality but are short on bail money? Or do you just hate douchey frat boys who support Mitt Romney? If…
A Swedish, citrus-spiked cocktail — the official drink of electronic dance music and the inspiration behind Sebastian Ingrosso, Axwell, and Steve Angello’s latest single. Landing EDM’s liquor-soaked spaceship in the town of Åhus, Sweden, these Mafia men have joined forces with Absolut to create “Greyhound,” the group’s fifth single and…
Fueling the obesity epidemic and enabling the Young Money Maniac’s sizzurp addiction, PepsiCo’s toxic green nectar, Mountain Dew, has a new spokesperson and his name is Lil Wayne. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. and Mountain Dew have come together to form DEWeezy, a new ad campaign…
Despite the fact Rihanna’s breasts offended an Irish farmer last year, the 24-year-old singer showed ’em off last night in the Big Apple, just six days before one of Ireland’s most celebrated feasts, St. Patrick’s Day. According to Media Takeout, “Rihanna was spotted in NYC last night” wearing little more…
Admit it, you’re turned on by the new Miley Cyrus, the one who loves penis cake and can’t stop exploring her sexuality, the girl who takes bong rips and sexts rock stars. But a braless Hannah Montana in daisy dukes and cowboy boots? Fantasy complete. Earlier this morning, TMZ posted…
Waka Flocka Flame’s Spring Break Kickoff at SoBe Live March 8
Calle Ocho 2012 music and entertainment guide, March 11
It feels like only yesterday that we were shaking our hips with Gloria Estefan in a record-breaking 119,969-person conga line at Calle Ocho. But that was March of 1988, Reagan was in still office, and Miami New Times was only a fortnightly newspaper, not the massive multimedia empire that it…
