Pop artist Romero Britto’s work has infected Miami like a great open sore pulsing red, yellow, and blue. When future archeologists unearth our city, they’ll think we worshiped squinting kitty-cats and butterflies–and that our artistic ability fell one neanderthal short of a cave painting.Now Britto has teamed up with the…
An iced coffee should consist of two things: (1) ice and (2) refrigerated coffee. Not hot coffee, because that melts the ice and invariably turns the drink into a watered-down, 2 Girls 1 Cup-style gag-inducing experience within 15 minutes.It’s simple, you would think. I’m not even asking for the ice…
For a city that made a mound of cocaine a must-have desktop accessory and likes its Brittos to match its Lamborghinis, this level of glossy athletic excess is only appropriate: Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James, three of the best ballers in the NBA, all descending on Miami to…
Hey there, LeBron, why are you riding your bicycle around Opa-Locka? What’s that, you’re lost and disoriented? Well, fold this handy primer into your pocket and South Florida will seem just like home, you’ll see! “Cleveland rocks”: “I’m in Miami Bitch” Polish: Cuban Pasty whiteness: Orange luminescence Love handles: Liposuction…
From the scathing, so-good-it-must-be-fake-but-it-really-isn’t open letter to Cleveland from Cavs owner Dan Gilbert:…
Tonight, if our swamis are correct, LeBron James will announce he is joining the Miami Heat. On national TV. Which, from the perspective of Northeast Ohioans, is the equivalent of dumping your high school sweetheart via a banner flown from a plane. And if he ends up staying in Cleveland,…
With a rentboy named Gaston. We’re currently getting interviewed by CNN, but we’ll update this story as we learn more. Click through for a larger EXCLUSIVE photo…
Fraud and witchcraft haunt South Treasure Drive’s North Bay Villas
There are lots of condo association spats and scams in the tiny, scandal-ridden hamlet of North Bay Village. Most of them are pretty boring. That’s because most of them don’t involve a wrathful warlock. A group of condo owners at South Treasure Drive’s North Bay Villas want their property manager,…
Michael J. Muzio, one of four co-conspirators in a Ponzi scheme that targeted South Florida Haitian-Americans, has been sentenced to 163 months in federal prison. In April, New Times told you about the $14.3 million scheme, which offered to double investors’ cash in 90 days. Two of Muzio’s cronies have…
At least that’s what we’re reading into the angsty note the flame-themed mascot has pinned to American Airlines Arena. Click through for a larger picture…
Miami-based Air Platinum sues Jay-Z for unpaid private jet time; company’s ex-employees call claims bogus
So last week, the Marlins canned manager Fredi Gonzalez for no clear reason, sort of like how they canned Joe Girardi for absolutely no good reason, and now they’re on a search for a new skipper. Former Mets manager Bobby Valentine was reportedly a candidate, but word on the street…
Of all of Miami’s ’80s-era cocaine cowboys, Mickey Munday is our favorite. Jon Roberts is a little too batshit-insane for our taste. Max Mermelstein adopted a false identity and died broke. And Manny Noriega, well, he’s in France getting reamed by the baguette of justice. Nothing cool about that…
Red-light cameras are now legal in South Florida
Media outlets from TMZ to Perez Hilton are reporting that Jay-Z is being sued for stiffing a Miami-based charter jet company, Air Platinum Holding, to the tune of $250,000 for not paying his flight bills.Not so fast. The owner of the company, Mickael Cohen, is what you might call a…
The U was a raucous look at the fabled ’80s-era Miami Hurricanes football team, and Run Ricky Run made us wholly reconsider the Dolphins’ enigmatic superstar running back. Silly Little Game was a hilarious chronicling of the group of baseball-adoring friends who unknowingly launched the $2 billion fantasy sports industry; No…
Poor Rolando Negrin. You remember him: The Miami International Airport screener who last month used his baton to beat a co-worker who had been habitually mocking the size of Negrin’s penis after watching him test-run a full-body x-ray scanner.It’s gotta suck to be made into a national punchline for one news cycle…
They are a hard-working immigrant group with virtually no financial wriggle room. Whatever money can be scrimped together is often sent to relatives still living in their impoverished and disaster-devastated homecountry. As a demographic, they can least afford to lose their savings– and yet South Florida’s Haitian-Americans community is increasingly…
The Dwyane-Wade-please-stay groveling continues with the county commission voting to rename our municipality Miami-Wade County. Ho-hum. It’s like Miami officials have observed all of the crazy stunts Cleveland is pulling in trying to persuade LeBron James to stay a Cavalier, and now want to convince the nation that we, too, are…
If an angry rich person is an attorney’s best friend, a lot of lawyers must be pretty pleased about the spat boiling over on super-wealthy Indian Creek Island.In late April, New Times told you about the escalating feud between Siamese titans on the island in Biscayne Bay. The 33-resident Indian…
The fervor against the cute, glossy, and substance-devoid work of Miami pop artist Romero Britto has officially reached a fever pitch. On the heels of New Times staffer Natalie O’Neill’s feature on Britto, which explained how somebody with the apparent talent of a leaf of Burger King lettuce lucked into…
