Apparently Scott Storch is Not Using Los Angeles Public Transportation

You can take the expensive vehicles away from the flash-addicted former mega-producer, but you can’t… take the flash-addicted former mega-producer away from the expensive vehicles? Something like that. Sunrise kid Scott Storch lost his mansion, pawned his yacht, and had his exotic car collection– which included Ferraris, Rolls Royces and…

Hulk Hogan Sues Cereal Company Over “Cocoa Smashdown”

Does Hulk Boulder, the blond-haired wrestler getting pummeled by Bam-Bam, Pebbles, Fred and Barney in the above commercial for Cocoa Pebbles, remind you of anybody? Then you, sir/ma’am, may have a future as a civil litigator. Part-time Miamian Hulk Hogan, whose daughter Brooke occasionally strip-teases at the Calle Ocho festival…

A Costa Rica Land Grab Smells Like a $50 Million Ponzi Scheme

In 2005, Dallas resident Richard Silverman returned from vacation in Costa Rica convinced the Central American paradise was a perfect spot for a second home. So after searching online, Silverman discovered something called Paragon Properties of Costa Rica. Its website was chock full of Sims-quality computer renderings of elegant villas,…

Latest Horse Meat Discovery Sets a New Record For Creepiness

Cops discovered what they believe is more black-market horse meat in Northwest Miami-Dade County today — this time, sitting in coolers in an abandoned blood-stained white van.This morning, cops found the battered Econoline sitting at 13101 NW 182nd Street, with a “full hand print of blood… smeared on the rear…

Thirty Killed in Raids of Dudus’ Kingston Camp

The extradition saga of Jamaican druglord Christopher “Dudus” Coke, leader of the ultra-violent South Florida-connected Shower Posse, has become yet more bloody today. The Associated Press is reporting that at least 30 people have been killed in gunfights between bandits, soldiers, and cops in the posse-controlled Tivoli Gardens slum in…

Greek Restaurant Sues a Cyber-Squatting Belly Dancer

Last week, New Times brought you the story of “soupnazi,” the Miami superhacker who stole more than 41 million credit card numbers. This week’s featured cyber-pirate looks a lot better in midriff-exposing silk — and is a master at dancing the hora. In 1998, dark-haired and alluring Argentinian Aisha Ismail…

Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team

So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized– after much coercion–for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He’s been reinstated into his God-given spot in the lineup, where he promptly collected three hits. But the ugly episode set the always-contemplative…

Poor Rich People

Mary Anne Shula, wife of Hall of Fame Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula, is still raking in a fortune from her previous husband. But she’s not satisfied. In 1991, when the woman born Mary Anne Hurst divorced Little Rock investment bank tycoon Jackson T. “Jack” Stephens Sr. — her third…

The Top Five Divas in South Florida Sports

The sports world is in full freak-out mode over Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez displaying legendary laziness in botching a play and then lashing out at manager Fredi Gonzalez for benching him. Never before have scribes busted out this many synonyms for half-ass performance — loafing, lollygagging, trotting, dogging it — and…