Shower Posse, the gang holding Jamaica hostage, has bloody Miami roots
Shower Posse, the gang holding Jamaica hostage, has bloody Miami roots
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Marlins pitcher Renyel Pinto gets socked with a $922,000 lawsuit for unpaid bling
Marlins pitcher Renyel Pinto gets socked with a $922,000 lawsuit for unpaid bling
Apparently Scott Storch is Not Using Los Angeles Public Transportation
You can take the expensive vehicles away from the flash-addicted former mega-producer, but you can’t… take the flash-addicted former mega-producer away from the expensive vehicles? Something like that. Sunrise kid Scott Storch lost his mansion, pawned his yacht, and had his exotic car collection– which included Ferraris, Rolls Royces and…
A Miami Shower Posse Victim Calls for “Dudus” Coke’s Head
Elonia and David Reynolds fled crack-flooded Miami Gardens soon after the murder of their daughter. They were afraid– but not of the drug dealers perched on every corner. It was their own rage that scared them, explains Elonia now: “I felt that I would see young boys on the street…
Hulk Hogan Sues Cereal Company Over “Cocoa Smashdown”
Does Hulk Boulder, the blond-haired wrestler getting pummeled by Bam-Bam, Pebbles, Fred and Barney in the above commercial for Cocoa Pebbles, remind you of anybody? Then you, sir/ma’am, may have a future as a civil litigator. Part-time Miamian Hulk Hogan, whose daughter Brooke occasionally strip-teases at the Calle Ocho festival…
Lawsuit: Marlins Pitcher Renyel Pinto Owes $922K For Unpaid Jewelry, UPDATED
For a guy who makes $88,114.75 every two weeks during the baseball season, Marlins reliever Renyel Pinto sure has a lot of trouble paying his bills. Cooper City’s aptly-named Major League Jewelers has filed suit against the Venezuelan pitcher, claiming that he failed to pay an 18-month-old $230,500 bling bill…
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South Florida-based Ponzi scheme dupes investors out of Costa Rican real estate
South Florida-based Ponzi scheme dupes investors out of Costa Rican real estate
Dwyane Wade Settles Lawsuits But Will Continue to Battle Baron Nemesis
Miami Heat demigod Dwyane Wade’s life got a bit simpler today when he settled a series of lawsuits with former business partners. The dollar amount of the settlement to the suits, which stem from a thwarted chain of restaurants and a charter school bearing his name, is confidential. Wade, who…
Castro Death Meter: Yes! Experts Estimate Fidel Is Now 83 Percent Dead
Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, will feed it into a giant, whirring computer to determine just how…
A Costa Rica Land Grab Smells Like a $50 Million Ponzi Scheme
In 2005, Dallas resident Richard Silverman returned from vacation in Costa Rica convinced the Central American paradise was a perfect spot for a second home. So after searching online, Silverman discovered something called Paragon Properties of Costa Rica. Its website was chock full of Sims-quality computer renderings of elegant villas,…
Morons of the Week: Terrible Parents, the Pervy Billionaire, and Rick Rosses
From blood-stained guajiros to litigious ex-convicts to shameful rappers to slithering billionaires, this week proved that moronic behavior knows no boundaries of class or race. In South Florida, pea-sized brains can be found in all sorts of heads. 5. Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who forgot to pay his sex offender bill…
Disgruntled belly dancer holds Taverna Opa’s website hostage
Disgruntled belly dancer holds Taverna Opa’s website hostage
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Latest Horse Meat Discovery Sets a New Record For Creepiness
Cops discovered what they believe is more black-market horse meat in Northwest Miami-Dade County today — this time, sitting in coolers in an abandoned blood-stained white van.This morning, cops found the battered Econoline sitting at 13101 NW 182nd Street, with a “full hand print of blood… smeared on the rear…
Suge Knight Late to Miami Deposition, Ordered to Pay Kanye’s Lawyer Fees
Between a tooth-loosening car accident, allegedly brandishing a firearm on a busy street and being accused of hatching a murder plot, broke hip-hop mogul Marion “Suge” Knight has a pretty full plate these days.Who could punish him for forgetting about that little lawsuit he filed against Kanye West and the…
Thirty Killed in Raids of Dudus’ Kingston Camp
The extradition saga of Jamaican druglord Christopher “Dudus” Coke, leader of the ultra-violent South Florida-connected Shower Posse, has become yet more bloody today. The Associated Press is reporting that at least 30 people have been killed in gunfights between bandits, soldiers, and cops in the posse-controlled Tivoli Gardens slum in…
Jamaican Drug Lord Christopher “Dudus” Coke Has Bloody South Florida Roots
The standoff over Jamaican drug lord Christopher “Dudus” Coke, who has turned a Kingston slum into his own personal bunker to avoid extradition to the U.S, has forced his country into a state of emergency. To local law-enforcement officials, the situation is all too familiar. Coke’s ultra-violent cartel, called “The…
Greek Restaurant Sues a Cyber-Squatting Belly Dancer
Last week, New Times brought you the story of “soupnazi,” the Miami superhacker who stole more than 41 million credit card numbers. This week’s featured cyber-pirate looks a lot better in midriff-exposing silk — and is a master at dancing the hora. In 1998, dark-haired and alluring Argentinian Aisha Ismail…
Morons of the Week: The Foul-Mouthed Principal, the Dirty Detective, and the Cardboard Caper Masterminds
This was the week Miami spent looking very hard at balls. First tar balls started showing up on our shores, sending scientists scrambling to determine whether we will soon be engulfed by a black goop monster courtesy of British Petroleum. The short answer: yes. Then, at a rate of 22 times an…
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Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team
So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized– after much coercion–for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He’s been reinstated into his God-given spot in the lineup, where he promptly collected three hits. But the ugly episode set the always-contemplative…
Poor Rich People
Mary Anne Shula, wife of Hall of Fame Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula, is still raking in a fortune from her previous husband. But she’s not satisfied. In 1991, when the woman born Mary Anne Hurst divorced Little Rock investment bank tycoon Jackson T. “Jack” Stephens Sr. — her third…
The Top Five Divas in South Florida Sports
The sports world is in full freak-out mode over Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez displaying legendary laziness in botching a play and then lashing out at manager Fredi Gonzalez for benching him. Never before have scribes busted out this many synonyms for half-ass performance — loafing, lollygagging, trotting, dogging it — and…
Morons of the Week: Charlie Brown Killa, the Small-Penised Airport Rager, and the Clueless Marijuana Grower
Between the Family Circle-Peanuts rivalry turning deadly, an uninspired fish death, and beatings over diminutive wangs and unbummed butts, Miami was really off its meds this week. The winners: 5. Desiree Shayla Wilson, sought for killing Charlie Brown in a drive-by. Seriously. That’s way worse than that thing Lucy used…