Last week, we said that the Miami episode of Louie was perhaps the most realistic depiction of this town we've ever seen on TV.
This week, Myspace brings us the polar opposite: the first three minutes of Step Up: Revolution, the fourth installment in the dance movie series that was filmed in Miami.
The opening scene features a dance crew who clog the Lummus Park stretch of Ocean Drive with souped-up vintage cars. (Miami does do an excellent job of funding its artists, after all.) When the traffic they've created reaches its maximum level of public nuisance, someone busts open a suitcase full of speakers and the dancers jump out from behind the wheel and onto the hoods of their expensive-looking cars to bust a move.
And then, impossibly, it gets more ridiculous. See for yourself after the jump.
Look, nobody expects this film to be high art. Nobody expects this film to be much of anything, for that matter, aside from a dance showcase loosely stitched together with cliches of romance, overcoming the odds, finding oneself in the music, etc. Every Step Up movie essentially just adds a fictional element to what would otherwise be an extra-long episode of America's Best Dance Crew.
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But even by those very low standards, this opening scene worries us. It had us cringing for just about the entirety of its three-minute run. At points, we had to cover our eyes. Looking at you, guy with the springs on his feet (who was maybe part of the Cavalia cast). And you, coco frio vendor. You too, quintet of booty-shaking girls shot from a super-pervy low angle. Also: Everyone who "surfs" on a car.
Ah, screw it. This is embarrassing for everyone. Including Miami.