Film & TV

Basketball Wives Episode 3: Everyone Hates Kenya Bell's Apple Pie Face

Ladies, let us remind you of something we have learned after watching four seasons of Basketball Wives: don't date an athlete. 

We can only imagine how great it is to whip at your man's American Express black card at Neiman Marcus and have him pay for your Loubs. Yet, from what we have seen from these "wives," you will more than likely end up stabbing them after they cheat on you (cough, cough Kenya Bell). 

Let Chad Ochocinco take note: we can only imagine that Evelyn Lozada will be OK with him hitting up groupies on the road for so long. Or that's what we took from she and Tami Roman's little chat in Miami. Even though they didn't stay in the 305 for long. 

First we thought that maybe Suzie Ketcham would hate Kesha Nichols, but things seem to be going well between them. Which makes us now think they are related. Really take a look at them - they are practically twins.

One good thing going for Kesha (so far) is that Evelyn is on her side and specifically enjoys her nugget status. Kenya Bell, not so much. Here is what Evelyn had to say about her: "Yeah -- Her wig is a little to the left." If you can't say anything nice, at least keep us laughing. This is Vh1 after all.

How much longer are we going to have to pretend that Kenya is an actual performer? Her dance auditions were a hot mess. And we aren't just talking about her tear-filled speech. Then, there was the Tami Roman meeting. Which speaking of, when did Tami Roman become an image consultant? If we were going to go to some one about our music career, William Hung and/or any of the Real Housewives would be better choices.

Let us stop hating on Kenya. The girls hate her enough for us:
-Suzie isn't hiding it, "Yeah I don't like her."
-Oh wait, Kesha doesn't either, "Yeah, she is a weirdo."
-We think its safe to say Team Tami hates everything about her. Especially that CD player she brought to their meeting.
-Shaunie O'Neal doesn't love her catch phrases, "Apple pie face? That doesn't work as well as boo boo, but go on."

Last week we whipped out the tissues when Evelyn spoke of her brother-in-law. And on week three, here comes Tami. Never did we think Ms. beer guzzling-punch-throwing-fowled-mouthed would be sitting with a therapist talking about her traumatic past so openly. Congrats Vh1, our black heart is slowly turning gray.


We wont lie today - this episode wasn't our favorite. Actually, it was far from it. Most importantly - where was Jennifer Williams? Eh, she can only hope to a be mother f***ing next week. God knows she will be get some camera time when Evelyn inevitably pops her in the mouth once again. That's always fun to watch.

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Stacey Russell
Contact: Stacey Russell