The Bitch has long since resigned herself to the inhumane sartorial practices of our quaint city, but when recent research at a gallery opening revealed 60 percent mandal noncompliance, she sought counseling and succor from Coral Gables couturier René Ruiz.
"If men must wear sandals, well, they should only be worn in the summer, preferably only on Sunday afternoons," Ruiz advises. "And at the beach, flip-flops are cute, but if not at the beach, there is no reason for any man to be wearing flip-flops. Ever."
The Bitch urges readers to employ social pressure (staring, ridicule, spewing shocked mouthfuls of Bailey's Irish Cream) to eradicate this visual blight and prod the character of public spaces in a mandal-less direction more congenial to her sensibilities.