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Audio By Carbonatix
On the tail end of a girls’ night out a few years back, one of my friends suggested we pop into the Hustler Hollywood store on our way home. There were six of us, all flush and giggly from too many cocktails, and our responses ranged from excitement to curiosity to — for one of us — downright fear. That friend, much to my surprise, had never owned or operated a vibrator, which is almost akin to blasphemy for me.
Granted, I was probably the most seasoned of the group in the fine art of women’s self-care, but I was surprised that my friend (who had a great sex life with her husband) had never dabbled. She, along with a couple of the others, seemed almost embarrassed to be in the store, hiding behind the latex-clad mannequins and (I assume) counting down until it was time to leave. Meanwhile, the friend who suggested the side quest and I skipped through the aisles, filling our shopping baskets with updated versions of the latest hits.
My hesitant friends felt uncomfortable for a valid cultural reason. Women’s sexual pleasure is still highly stigmatized in modern society, despite progressive pop cultural efforts to the contrary (thank you, Sex and the City, Girls, and Sex Education). While male masturbation is viewed as “normal,” sometimes funny, and almost inevitable, for women, the act is still talked about as crude, dirty, and slutty in some spaces.
Masturbation was not something that was discussed during my religious Christian upbringing, though we were taught that “loose women” should be feared and avoided. Nevertheless, I persisted in my pursuit of the Big O. As one childhood friend said when I first took this sex writer gig, “Oh, that makes sense. You always talked about this stuff.” Still, I understand why so many women are uncomfortable with the topic.
Thoughts on the patriarchy aside, it is also more physically difficult for women to achieve climax from sexual stimulation (only 50 percent are able to orgasm from penetration alone, compared to 95 percent of men). So, in addition to the societal taboo, many of us can feel shame or guilt for not being able to cum on command, and outside assistance (from hands, mouths, or vibrating phalluses) is often necessary.
Pleasure is a bonus, but orgasms are also extremely good for our overall health. The Cleveland Clinic reports that climax helps with headaches and other pain relief, heart health, menstrual cramps, self-confidence, sleep, and stress. Dildos, by this logic, aren’t just for kink and hedonism; they’re a valid addition to any girly’s self-care regimen.
I consider myself a bit of a sex toy connoisseur. My collection was started early and unapologetically, and over the years, I’ve figured out what works for me (though I’m always open to trying something new). Sometimes, toys are purely for solo self-care, and sometimes they’re better enjoyed with a partner. To paraphrase an early iPhone slogan, there’s a vibrator for that.
Unfortunately, these therapeutic devices don’t last forever, so they need to be replaced periodically. Some of my favorite local shops for replenishing the nightstand drawer include Caliente Adult Superstore for everyday needs and Honey Birdette at Aventura Mall when I’m feeling bougie.
But for online shoppers, Miami has a new homegrown option for ladies’ intimate toys. IDG, short for “indulge,” was founded by Marian Cuello, who put ten years of development into creating a luxurious line of sex toys from body-safe materials so women could engage in what she calls “unapologetic self-care.”
Photo by World Red Eye
“I’d love for us to be able to say out loud that we are [using these products] and that we feel great. I’m not scared to say it,” Cuello tells New Times. “Even with a partner, we can say, ‘Look, I’m going to go get my toys because this is how I’m going to feel better.’ Because sometimes there’s like that stigma that, ‘Oh, if I’m with a partner and I bring toys, it’s because that person’s not good enough; they’re not getting it done.’ No, it’s not to take that away from that. It’s to make these experiences be your friends, right? It’s something to help you. It’s something to enhance your existing relationship, or, if you’re by yourself, to take care of yourself in that sense too.”
I tested IDG’s Signature Kit, which retails for $265 and features Cuello’s versions of the greatest hits — a rabbit, rose, bullet, lube, toy cleaner, carrying pouch, and charging cables. Digging into the kit is like opening a luxury handbag — it comes in a glossy, embossed box with pockets for each device and product. The vibrators themselves look like the old standards, but with a Miami glow-up. The hunter green silicone with gold accents is pretty, and while it’s cool to have nice things, for me, it’s all about the results. IDG delivers devices that are strong and ergonomically functional. I love a bullet for partner play or when I just have a little more time on my hands, while the rabbit gets it done quick and dirty.
I’ve never been a rose girl. (For the uninitiated, the rose is a clitoral vibrator with a suction feature that is supposed to mimic oral stimulation. Though pretty with its floral shape, the mechanics typically fall short for me.) If you love them, this one will probably do the job.
“Buy it, post it, and be proud of it. Don’t be ashamed or feel like you need to hide it — that would be my main goal for women [with these products],” Cuello tells New Times.
I know not everyone is going to post their vibrators on Instagram, but I agree with Cuello that we should all at least feel good about using them.
Play on, ladies.
