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Five Reasons Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" Doesn't Suck

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All right, we know what you're thinking.

There's no way you'll ever admit to liking a Justin Bieber song. He's a twerp, a too-eager evil of the YouTube generation. But hear us out.

On his new single, "Boyfriend," from his forthcoming third album, Believe, the Biebz demonstrates a new, ridiculously swagged-out side that's irresistibly catchy and kinda hot.

Or maybe we just find it unendingly amusing to watch him go gangsta.

Either way, here are five reasons Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" doesn't suck.

We Miss the Other Justin Badly

It's been a long, hard six years since Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds' 2006 release, and we've been jonesin' for his falsetto loving. And the Biebz's "Boyfriend" is essentially the next best thing to a fresh and sweaty single from our number one favorite pop-tard turned sexual fantasy. In fact, Bieber is beginning to sound almost exactly like JT, and "Boyfriend" is curiously similar to Timberlake's breakout solo hit, "Girlfriend." Until the elder Justin leaves Hollywood to bless us with another record, we've got Bieber fever.

He's 18 Now and He's Whispering to Us

Until now, Bieber has been nothing to us besides another gooey, overly skinny heartthrob showing too much bony chest in deep V-necks. Oh, he was also pubescent and illegal. But as of March 1, this kid transformed into a piece of meat, and he knows it. That's why he's murmuring to us like the Ying Yang Twins. Except instead of threatening to beat our pussies up, he wants to hold our hand at the movies. One step at a time, but we like where this is going.

Swag Is Always Cool

Everyone knows saying swag in your song automatically

makes it cool. Just ask Soulja Boy -- he made a career out of it. And Jay-Z

wouldn't claim to have invented something if it weren't awesome. Meanwhile, Lil B shoves

his tracks full of swag, and just for that, NYU

is letting him give a lecture. The point: Bieber is swaggin' hard on this song, and we

respect it.

The Video Will Be Sexy in Very Uncomfortable Ways

Going along with the general theme of grown-and-sexy, the Biebz's "Boyfriend"

video will no doubt take his career up a notch. It's already been filmed and a few

teasers have been recently released, featuring a boyish and coy Bieber trying to

go hard just before he gets swallowed by the hands of a half-dozen grown women. Oh, and B-baby promised in

a recent interview with MTV that there'd be "a bunch of amazing

scenes: like a fire scene, we have an ice scene." Cool story, bro. Can't wait.

This Is Only the Beginning

His album hasn't even come out. But we already

know it's gonna be his official coming-out soundtrack. You know, as an adult. He's heading in a new, edgy, and rebellious direction. He totally says

the F-word in this song! Pretty soon, the Biebz is gonna have tattoos and an A-list

slut girlfriend. But hey, at least he promises to treat her right. That's

more than we can say for Chris Brown.

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