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Calle Ocho. The only time of the year when all of Miami’s papi chulos y chongas interesting characters (two million, to be exact) gather en masse along a 19-block stretch in the heart of Little Havana.
Sure, every year’s fest brings about its own surprises, but there are some things we can always expect to spot.
Just check out Crossfade‘s 50 things you see at America’s largest street bash.
See also: The Bros of Calle Ocho Talk Miami Girls and Pick-Up Lines
48. A Man Wearing a #TWERKEA T-shirt Being Interviewed by a Blonde With Huge Jugs a Huge Hat
Need we say more?
47. Cop Towers
Just in case that #TWERKEA action gets out of hand, of course.
46. Flag Tees
Sad because you left your Latin pride at home? Good thing there’s plenty of these t-shirts emblazoned with the Cuban, Puerto Rican, Dominican, and just about any other country’s flag on them.
45. Flag-Print Bikinis
Because nothing shows off your patriotic pride more than wearing the Puerto Rican flag on your boobs.
44. Latin Pride Visors and Handbags
These go well with that bikini.
43. Guy Shaking Maracas and Dancing Salsa with a Mailbox
Salsa dancing is serious business at Calle Ocho. So make sure to bring your maracas. Because who knows when you might meet a nice mailbox?
42. Commemorative Calle Ocho Tee
Just in case you get chilly in that bikini.
41. Pinchos on the Grill
Our mouth watered every time we came across these pinchos, which was about every two minutes.
40. Grinding in the Libby Tent
Whether it was to get free juice or watch these girls grinding to reggaeton, the Libby tent was a must-stop spot.
39. Snakes as Fashion Accessories
Forget diamonds, this guy’s got a snake for a necklace.
38. Marijuana Leaf Leis
If reptiles aren’t your thing, you can always settle for ganja ’round your neck.
37. Messi Jerseys
Because everyone loves Messi y el fútbol.
36. Mariquitas y Chicharrón
And the drooling continued.
35. Pineapple Juice Served in a Pineapple
Drinking coconut water out of its shell? That’s soo Calle Ocho 2013. This year, we drank the juice straight outta la piña.
34. Flag Leg Sleeves
There’s nothing like reppin’ your homeland with leg sleeves to keep you warm cuando llegue el frío.
33. Flag Do-Rags
Because only ride-or-die Latinos go all out from head to toe.
32. Freshly Squeezed Guarapo
Made by the sweetest viejito in town who sternly warned us, “If your camera breaks, it’s not my fault.”
31. ¡Que Bola! T-Shirts
The Cubonics version of “What’s up, bro?”
30. Shirts With Pick-Up Lines
Why use a cheesy line to get the ladies? Let your shirt do all the talking.
29. Giant Paella Pans
We don’t need to bother with a plate, right?
28. TV News Reporters and News Trucks
It only makes sense only every local news station and member of the media would be covering la locura of Calle Ocho.
27. Paramedics
Pulled a butt muscle from too much ass-shaking? Good thing these guys were there for the rescue.
26. Miami Police on Crowd Control
Very much needed with all of los callejeros de Calle Ocho.
25. Elvis Crespo on the Mega 94.9 Stage
El merenguero telling the crowd to grab a stranger and move their bodies “pegadito suavecito.”
24. Reggaeton Competition at the Coca-Cola Stage
The crowd was roaring at the foot of the Coca-Cola stage as the host asked, “¿Quien lo hace mejor, Ecuador o Colombia? ¿Aver?” From the looks of it, no one’s got moves like Ecuador.
23. A Güiro
A güiro is an instrument we thought was only used by professional salseros in actual bands, but this guy was solo and owning it.
22. Impromptu Street Parades
Spotted as frequently as the mamis of Calle Ocho.
21. Beach Umbrellas
Were we at the beach or Calle Ocho? Who knows.
20. Decima Guajira
These guys kept the Cuban tradition of decima guajira alive with their improvisational mic skills.
19. Impromptu Conga Lines
In the words of la Reina de la Salsa Celia Cruz herself, ¡azúcar!
18. Music Blasting from Every Bodega
You haven’t experienced Calle Ocho until you’ve danced bachata, reggaeton, salsa, or merengue with a stranger in front of a bodega.
17. This Guy Offering You a Smoke
“Come smoke one with me.” Maybe next time.
16. Mani
El manisero keeping it real for $1.
15. $5 Party Punch
“What’s in the party punch?”
“Alcohol.”
“What kind of alcohol?”
“Rum.”
“Is it mixed with anything?”
“Just a little bit of dye to make it red or blue.”
Sounds legit.
14. Café Gratis
There’s nothing we 305ers love more than free black, liquid gold.
13. Lechón Asado
And masita de lechón, of course.
12. Carne a la Barbacoa
But don’t forget the smoky goodness of carne a la barbacoa.
11. Abuela Breaking It Down
By far, the hippest Abuela we saw, getting down to Jagged Edge’s “Where the Party At,” while keeping her Heineken from spillin’.
10. Blue Men Invasion
Cool costume, bro. But, like, where’s your bikini? We can’t tell what country you’re from.
9. Musica for $4
Wanna bailar with Plan B or Kilsi? It’ll only cost your around four bucks for these Latin dance gems.
8. The Queen of Calle Ocho
Out of more than one million people, no one topped this queen on the diva scale. Just look at all those festive colors. And did we mention the dance moves? Ugh, what a show off.
7. Folklorico Cubano
Smack in the heart of Domino Park was a crew of Cuban musicians beating the conga drums and cowbells in perfect harmony.
“This is folklorico Cubano,” said a man who was really into the music. “It’s called la rumba.”
6. A Giant Silver Statue of Celia Cruz
The most significant piece of culture at this year’s Calle Ocho fest: a statue honoring the Queen of Salsa, thanks to the Kiwanis Club of Little Havana.
5. Folk Dancers Photobombed by Drunk Bros
It’s not a real party till your snapshots get ruined by inebriated dudes.
4. Sensato Jamming to “Watagatapitusberry”
Pitbull’s protégé got the crowd going wild during his performance of “Watagatapitusberry,” and a man asking us (and just about everyone who crossed his path) if we wanted to be the meat to his booty sandwich.
3. Samples of Pitbull’s New Fragrance Line
Every wondered how Mr. 305 became Mr. Worldwide? It must’ve been that “confident, charismatic, magnetic, spicy, stylish, and sexy” scent of his.
2. Daddy Yankee at the Power 96 Stage
The King of Calle Ocho loves ’em mamis, so he gave them a taste of his “Gasolina.”
1. Man Being Chased by Cops on Bikes
Near the end of the fest, we noticed an army of officers on bicycle speed past us. When we arrived at the scene, there was a handcuffed man lying on the floor. Police told us they were after a man whom they say was allegedly waving a loaded gun in the air. The weapon was not fired, and no one was hurt. Thank you, City of Miami PD.
Gotta love Calle Ocho.
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