Will Miami Ever Be Home to a First-Class Bakery?

Despite being home to many James Beard Award-winning and nominated chefs, Miami continues to lack a first-class bakery. I’m not talking about those obscure places offering bland baguettes and lackluster pastries, and I definitely don’t mean those cupcake shops that keep popping up just about everywhere. I’m talking about award-winning…

Paula Deen Sued for Sexual Harassment at One of Her Restaurants

​The undisputed queen of southern cooking, Paula Deen, is entangled in one big, ‘ole legal mess. Deen, her empire, and her brother, are all being sued for sexual harassment amid charges of sexism and racism.This comes not long after the controversy surrounding her recent “coming out” as diabetic after hiding…

Food Blogging For Dummies: We Offer Ten Tips

It was bound to happen. Food Blogging For Dummies by Kelly Senyei is available for pre-order on Amazon. This 320-page book will, no doubt, speak to the 75 remaining people in the world who still do not have a food blog.If you can’t wait for the book to come out…

Five Other Things Floridians Might Confuse a Taco For

​In the past few months, we’ve noticed an alarming number of mistaken identity cases regarding tacos. Last October, Riptide told you about the drunk Florida man who handed over a taco when law enforcement asked him for identification. Yesterday, we told you about a man stabbing his passenger for mistaking…

Hugo Chávez’s Six-Song Deathbed Playlist

Among the most politically polarizing figures in modern times, Venezuelan “president” Hugo Chávez has had the rare distinction of sharing the worldwide stage with other high-energy luminaries like Muammar Gaddafi (d. 2011), Kim Jong-il (d. 2011), Evo Morales, Fidel and Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega, and Rafael Correa. But with “less…

You May Have to Start Shooting Up Your Ice Cream

​Scientists may have discovered a link between ice cream and drugs.The issue of whether or not food can be addictive has been largely debated. Now however, researchers Kyle S. Burger and Eric Stice of the Oregon Research Institute, have found that there is in fact a link.MSNBC reports that Burger…

I Drank Go-Go Juice: Jitters, Racing Heart, and a Crash

Chances are you’ve seen or heard about Toddlers and Tiaras, the TLC show that features little children dressed like mini-hookers and the parents who push them.The show is like watching roadkill, and I admit I’ve spent one too many rainy Saturday afternoons with T&T marathons. After all, I was a…

M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls” Video: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Today, the world got an overdose of Maya Arulpragasam, AKA M.I.A., who released not one, but two music videos. The first was a featured guest spot on Madonna’s “Hollaback Girl” “Give Me All Your Luvin'”. Tween SMS misspellings aside, Madonna’s track is basically an ode to herself and how everyone…

Rolling Stones’ Open-Mouth Urinals Piss Off German Women

Germans are notoriously kinky. But when it comes to watersports, at least 12 Deutsches are drawing a hard line at simulated restroom piss play. According to TMZ, several women have complained about mouth-shaped urinals inside a Rolling Stones memorabilia museum restroom in Germany, calling the porcelain novelty toilet demeaning and…

Ten Reasons the 2012 Grammys Are a Total Joke

As popular culture continues to be consumed by a seemingly inexhaustible inferno of idiocy – dubstep trickle down, reunion shows, Drake, the list goes on – the Recording Academy is putting on their best Nero costumes and getting their fiddles nice and tuned. Yes. That’s right. It’s fucking Grammy season…

No Eating Human Fetuses, Says Senator Ralph Shortey

There have been plenty of f’d up news stories coming out of South Florida, but the more and more I read about wampeters, granfalloons, and nut bags that make up the rest of our country, I start to think that it may, after all, be safe to drink the water.Freshman…

Nickelback Reacts to Haters, Crossfade Pushes Buttons

Sticks and stones may break their bones, but words really hurt Nickelback. According to a recent article on rollingstone.com, Nickelback is “annoyed with all this constant ridicule.” They’re sick of taking cheap shots from critics for their lame brand of mainstream radio rock, and they’re especially pissed off about petitions…

Paula Deen is a Liar and Anthony Bourdain Hates Her (Video)

Well, well, well. Who woulda thought that the notoriously Southern Paula Deen was actually a Cuban-American in disguise? Oh, no wait — she isn’t. It just seems that way, since like many of our abuelitas, she has been suffering from diabetes while pushing sugar-laden goodies down our eager throats for…