Rolling Stones’ Open-Mouth Urinals Piss Off German Women

Germans are notoriously kinky. But when it comes to watersports, at least 12 Deutsches are drawing a hard line at simulated restroom piss play. According to TMZ, several women have complained about mouth-shaped urinals inside a Rolling Stones memorabilia museum restroom in Germany, calling the porcelain novelty toilet demeaning and…

Ten Reasons the 2012 Grammys Are a Total Joke

As popular culture continues to be consumed by a seemingly inexhaustible inferno of idiocy – dubstep trickle down, reunion shows, Drake, the list goes on – the Recording Academy is putting on their best Nero costumes and getting their fiddles nice and tuned. Yes. That’s right. It’s fucking Grammy season…

No Eating Human Fetuses, Says Senator Ralph Shortey

There have been plenty of f’d up news stories coming out of South Florida, but the more and more I read about wampeters, granfalloons, and nut bags that make up the rest of our country, I start to think that it may, after all, be safe to drink the water.Freshman…

Nickelback Reacts to Haters, Crossfade Pushes Buttons

Sticks and stones may break their bones, but words really hurt Nickelback. According to a recent article on rollingstone.com, Nickelback is “annoyed with all this constant ridicule.” They’re sick of taking cheap shots from critics for their lame brand of mainstream radio rock, and they’re especially pissed off about petitions…

Paula Deen is a Liar and Anthony Bourdain Hates Her (Video)

Well, well, well. Who woulda thought that the notoriously Southern Paula Deen was actually a Cuban-American in disguise? Oh, no wait — she isn’t. It just seems that way, since like many of our abuelitas, she has been suffering from diabetes while pushing sugar-laden goodies down our eager throats for…

Debate Over Snack Ends in Murder-Suicide for Ohio Family (Video)

We’re almost two weeks into 2012, but the food-related craziness from last year has apparently spilled over. We thought Miamians were nuts, but check this out. Tragedy struck an Ohio family after Paul Gilkey, 63, became upset when relatives served his terminally ill wife a snack.Gilkey had peeled an orange to…

Hostess Declares Bankruptcy! A Sweet Ending?

The bad economy has been hard on everyone, and apparently depressed people without jobs no longer eat to dispel their feelings. Hostess, which just emerged from bankruptcy in September of last year, is at it again with an impending refiling reported by the Wall Street Journal.WSJ cites the $860 million…

Van Halen’s “Tattoo” Video: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

David Lee Roth isn’t so sad and lonely anymore. The 57-year-old “gigolo” has reunited with his Dutch-brothers-from-another-mother — Eddie and Alex — and he’s gearing up for Van Halen’s North American tour, hitting the BankAtlantic Center on April 10. The only problem: It’s not 1978. Shortly after midnight last night,…

Gene Simmons’ Top Five Sex Tips for Tim Tebow

​TMZ interviewing KISS frontman Gene Simmons about controversial Christian virgin and Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow? Sounds like one of those “…walks into a bar” bits, only the punchline doesn’t give you a case of uncontrollable giggles. It just makes you wanna puke. But whatever … The KISS creep is…

50 Cent Is Dying, Goes Emo on Twitter

50 Cent is dying. “I’ll be honest,” 50 Cent tweeted January 2, “I don’t think I’m gonna live much longer. That’s why I started my street king movement.” The 36-year-old rapper isn’t terminally ill. He’s just “conscious that life is short” and admittedly “not suicidal.” Nevertheless, Curtis Jackson has been…

Guess Those Rock Star Boobs!

While y’all were nursing a hangover on New Year’s Day, one newly engaged musician kicked off 2012 with a topless Hawaiian snorkeling adventure. This rock ‘n’ roller’s chest looks great for a 63-year-old woman but alarmingly droopy for a 63-year-old man. Sadly, however, this person is in much better shape…

Blame Canada: Hawkesbury Food Bank Broken Into Over Christmas Eve Holiday

​Ever since Michael Moore’s exploitive documentary, Bowling for Columbine, liberals, hipsters, and pseudo-intellectuals have fawned over our great cousin to the north.But perhaps Canada is not the peaceful, crimeless country depicted in Moore’s documentary — the one where people leave their doors unlocked and the murder rate of the entire…