World Cup 2010: Brazil vs. North Korea, Joga Bonito!

Newton’s universal law of gravity tells us that all motion is comprehensible and predictable, that it guides planets and asteroids and keeps billions of stars in orbit within the Milky Way. But the Brazilian national team, along with its magical style of play, apparently thinks Newton’s universal law of gravitation…

PETA Wants Robotic Fish Behind Marlins Home Plate

Last week, the Florida Marlins announced plans to install saltwater aquariums behind home plate in their under-construction stadium in Miami. Well, PETA, an organization that now seemingly exists only to release stupid press releases and dumb letters about animal things (seriously, what the hell is this?), wrote an inane letter asking the Marlins to…

World Cup 2010: America, F#$% Yeah!

Some would say the ultimate result of Saturday’s highly anticipated match between the U.S. and England was disappointing. The pre-game anticipation certainly didn’t help. It was six months of USA versus England! The Statue of Liberty versus Big Ben! Starbucks versus tea! James Bond versus Jason Bourne! Ronald Reagan versus…

South Florida’s Pat Curran Wins Bellator MMA Lightweight Tournament

On observers’ scratch sheets, Pat Curran should have lost. But when it comes to 15-minute cage fights, paper wisdom isn’t exactly a script. Sometimes the underdog wins. Sometimes he chops down old idols like dead trees. Sometimes he rewrites the ending in blood. That was the story when Curran knocked…

Florida Marlins Win Four-Game Series Against Milwaukee Brewers

Your Florida Marlins finished a four-game series with the Milwaukee Brewers last night. After a tough battle with the Phillies last weekend, including having a perfect game thrown against them (where was Jim Joyce then?!?) the Fish went all Samuel L. Jackson on the Brewers. Not sure what that means,…

Dwyane Wade Awarded Temporary Custody of Children

Every thing seems to be going Dwyane Wade’s way in court (judicial, not basketball) lately. First he settled a series of lawsuits with a former business partner, and now he has been awarded temporary sole custody of his two sons in his increasingly ugly divorce with wife Siohvaughn Wade.The ruling…

Columnist Says Dolphins Full of “Thugs and Hoodlums”

The Miami Dolphins seem hypocritically concerned with whether prospective player’s mothers were ever prostitutes, but seem to not be too concerned that one of their current players stands accused of brutally hitting his pregnant girlfriend. This has lead one Fox Sports columnist to label the Fins “home to NFL bad…

El Pibe Stays True to Futbol and Colombia

Inside Grove Liquors on SW 32nd Avenue at South Dixie Highway, two leggy, long-haired brunettes in yellow Colombian national soccer team jerseys walk in front of a mound of curly blond hair that is universally familiar to the avid fútbol fan.Carlos “El Pibe” Valderrama signs autographs as the young ladies…

Ex-Heat Star Antoine Walker Files for Bankruptcy

While his ex-fiance Evelyn Lozada is living it up on the hit show Basketball Wives, former Heat star Antoine Walker has filed for bankruptcy. The forward helped the Heat secure their 2006 NBA championship, but his professional life has faltered ever since.The bankruptcy was filed last week in the Southern…

Dolphins’ Phillip Merling Received Special Treatment From Broward Sheriff’s Office

One day after Phillip Merling’s arrest for allegedly punching a pregnant woman, the Broward Sheriff’s Office is investigating why the Dolphins’ defensive end received special treatment during his release from jail.Merling posted $15,000 bail yesterday, but instead of going through standard procedure where inmates are released through the jail’s front door, Merling…