Someone Is Crowdfunding a Birthday Cake for Sad Jeb Bush

Poor Jeb! After patiently waiting his turn to run for president, he was walloped mercilessly by schoolyard bully Donald Trump. The Donald branded him a “low-energy” candidate and gleefully taunted him for deploying his mother in campaign ads (“Jeb – mom can’t help you with ISIS, the Chinese or with Putin,” Trump tweeted).

More than 360,000 Miamians Could Lose Insurance When GOP Guts Obamacare

We elected a president last year, which means D.C. politicians spent 12 whole months treating Floridians and their precious electoral votes like delicate French dauphins, catering to our every whim and promising us things like jobs, endangered species protections, and a sea that won’t swallow and drown us in a hundred years.

Environmentalists Start Petition Against FPL’s Radioactive-Waste Plan

The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission has decided there’s nothing wrong with Florida Power & Light’s plan to store radioactive waste and contaminated water in an aquifer connected to South Florida’s drinking water supply. Last Friday, NRC officials shot down a legal petition from an environmental group asking the agency to reconsider FPL’s plan.

Why Did More Than 80 Dolphins Die in the Everglades?

The herd of false killer whales, a kind of endangered, oversize dolphin, wormed its way into the narrow channels of Everglades National Park sometime over the weekend. The massive creatures, which can grow to 20 feet and 1,500 pounds, were soon trapped in the silty water, thick with mangrove roots…

Video: Cops Arrest Sabal Trail Protesters Handcuffed to Pipeline

Protests against the Sabal Trail Pipeline, the energy-company-owned natural-gas project slated to run from Alabama to Central Florida, have reached a fever pitch. Over the weekend, hundreds of peaceful protesters picketed and chanted in Suwannee County. They demanded that the triumvirate of energy companies building the $3 billion pipeline — Duke Energy, Spectra Energy, and NextEra Energy, which owns Florida Power & Light — reconsider their actions.

FPL Wins Battle to Store Radioactive Waste Under Miami’s Drinking Water Aquifer

South Florida sits atop two gigantic underground stores of water: the Biscayne and Floridan Aquifers. Miamians get most of their drinking water from the upper Biscayne Aquifer, while the government has used the lower portion of the Floridian to dump waste and untreated sewage — despite the fact that multiple studies have warned that waste could one day seep into the drinking water.

State Bill Would Create THC Limit for Stoned Drivers, but Scientists Say It’s Useless

Most cannabis activists, law enforcement professionals, and biologists agree that blood tests don’t work very well to police stoned drivers. Unlike alcohol, which dissolves in blood, THC, the active chemical in marijuana, dissolves in fat and doesn’t “peak” in the body while you’re actually high. In February, a Columbia University neurobiologist told NPR that it’s “really difficult to document drugged driving in a relevant way.”

Miami Republicans Blast Obama’s “Wet Foot, Dry Foot” Change as “Concession to Castro”

Over the past ten years, it’s been difficult to find politicians, be they left-leaning or right-of-center, to defend the U.S. government’s “wet foot, dry foot” Cuban immigration policy. Even during the Bush administration, politicos — such as then-Florida Gov. Jeb Bush — called the rule an outdated relic of the Cold War. Even Marco Rubio has said it’s time for the law to go.

Miami Beach Mayor Phil Levine Won’t Run for Reelection, Might Run for Governor

Before taking the reins as mayor of Miami Beach, Philip Levine made a fortune as a cruise-ship media magnate who spent his spare time hobnobbing with celebrities like Mick Jagger, Annie Liebovitz, and Hillary and Bill Clinton. The minute Levine took office in 2013, he used his experience as a PR king to his advantage, rapidly turning himself into one of the nation’s highest-profile climate-change fighters.

Marco Rubio Votes to Gut Obamacare With No Replacement

For a few delirious hours yesterday, Florida’s junior senator made his home state proud. Marco Rubio relentlessly grilled Rex Tillerson, President-elect Donald Trump’s nominee for secretary of state, on human rights violators such as Saudi Arabia and Russia, demanding to know whether Tillerson believed Trump’s BFF Vladimir Putin was a “war criminal” and whether he’d listen to intelligence agencies about Russia’s hacking.

Mom Sues Carnival After Daughter Is Raped Outside Ship’s Teen Club

In the fall of 2015, a Florida woman boarded the Carnival Breeze with her 15-year-old daughter and set sail for the Caribbean. It was October 3, the last leg of the eight-day voyage. As she had done several nights of the cruise, the girl stopped by Deck 4 to check out the ship’s alcohol-free club, which catered to 15-to-17-year-olds.

Commissioner Wants Self-Driving Ubers in Miami Beach

Most citygoers love Uber, but taxi drivers can’t stand the ride-sharing app. The company has successfully “disrupted” the taxi industry, put drivers out of business, and led to mass protests in the United States and Europe. Now Uber’s new business model could put its own drivers out of business: The company has launched a pilot program in Pittsburgh, where self-driving cars ferry Uber passengers from stop to stop.

State Bill Would Ban Abortion After 20 Weeks of Pregnancy

After a wave of protests, Ohio Gov. John Kasich last month vetoed a bill that would have banned abortions in Ohio after six weeks — a period before many women even know they’re pregnant. Kasich received a brief round of applause before turning around and signing a 20-week abortion ban. Anti-abortion group Ohio Right to Life still applauded Kasich’s decision, stating the “20-week ban was nationally designed to be the vehicle to end abortion in America.”