Most of Miami’s Democratic Politicians Skipped the Women’s March

It wasn’t that difficult to attend at least one event related to Saturday’s Women’s March on Washington. Marches were, in fact, planned in every single major American city and tons of smaller satellite cities, including tiny Lubbock, Texas; and Key West, Florida. Miami held its own rally at the Bayfront Park Amphitheatre, which concluded with a protest march through city streets. All you had to do was show up and march.

Marco Rubio, a Man Tragically Born Without a Spine, Will Vote for Rex Tillerson

Remember two weeks ago when your friends were all amazed at Sen. Marco Rubio’s gutsy showing at Rex Tillerson’s confirmation hearing? Rubio roasted Tillerson for refusing to call Vladimir Putin a war criminal over his Syria campaign. Maybe, political columnists suggested, Rubio could be a GOP bulwark against Donald Trump’s neglect for basic human rights.

Miami Beach Police Promote Cop Who Pulled Gun on Colleagues in 2007

In 2007, then-Miami Beach Police Capt. Richard Weissman stood inside a Miami Beach hotel room, preparing his fellow officers for a prostitution sting. According to a later Miami Herald report, Weissman began tossing heated questions at the other cops, including “What if a prostitute comes in and tries to rob one of you guys?” and “What if when the prostitute enters the room, she locks the door?”

Attention, Miami: Trump’s First Pledge Is to Kill Climate Change Action Plan

Elections have consequences. Sure, there are some Miami voters who leapt enthusiastically onto the Trump Train and embraced all of the Donald’s plans. But thousands of locals voted for him only because they wanted lower taxes or a wall in Texas or the overturn of Roe v. Wade. Even more in Miami-Dade didn’t bother showing up at the polls.

Ask a Stoner: Why Roll a Joint Inside Out?

Dear Stoner: A festival-going friend rolls joints inside out and says they’re better that way. Wouldn’t they be manufactured that way if that were the case? Dab-oo Sweeney. Dear Dab-oo: Papers and blunt wraps are merely canvases for rolling artists to spin their magic. The regular way is the easiest…

To Combat Miami Traffic, Local Governments Look to Water Transit

Sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the MacArthur Causeway, you ball up your fists and inexplicably honk your horn, because Miami logic dictates you must. As you let out a guttural cry, a Jet Ski zips past you in the water. Your first inkling — Is it DJ Khaled?! — subsides as a second, more loathsome thought makes its way to the tip of your tongue: Screw that guy.

Miami Is America’s Third-Most Roach-Infested City, According to Census Data

For better and worse, Florida’s early settlers exerted their will over almost every aspect of the Everglades, from the swamp’s water flow to the sharp sawgrass. But despite their best efforts at conquering nature, insects are still getting the best of us a century later. Zika-carrying mosquitoes briefly destroyed Miami’s tourism economy last year. And when locals aren’t swatting away mosquitoes, they’re blasting entire cans of Raid at palmetto bugs, South Florida’s unique brand of hideous, gigantic flying cockroaches.

Sierra Club Sues to Stop FPL’s $811 Million Rate Hike

According to Florida Power & Light, the Sunshine State-based electricity monopoly, the Sierra Club’s members are a bunch of extremists. “The Sierra Club is an extreme group, that takes extreme positions,” an FPL spokesperson told the Miami Herald last night. If that seems like an odd way to characterize the Sierra Club…