Can the Chip Ganassi Racing With Felix Sabates team superduo of American Scott Pruett and Mexican Memo Rojas pull off a back-to-back-to-back three-peat at this year’s Grand Prix of Miami? If you’re not a racing fan, that all probably sounded like nonsense. But for the sport’s diehards, it’s the question…
Do you remember that episode of Gossip Girl when Blake Lively jumps on a horse during a polo match and gallops off? Don’t deny it; the show is your secret pleasure, and that episode was your favorite. Taking the horse from one of the polo players and running off with…
There’s nothing quite like watching sweaty men wearing tight pants and riding horses in the sand – Ah, the sport of polo. You could easily argue it’s a sport far too classy for us hooligans in South Beach, but hey – we’ll throw on our say-something hat, a pair of…
Ever since the Miami Marlins opened Marlins Park (1390 NW Sixth St., Miami), their brand-new stadium in Little Havana, everyone has been clamoring to gawk at its butt-ugly main attraction. No, we’re not talking about Ozzie Guillen. We’re talking about the ostentatious grotesqueness that is the home-run sculpture. The 70-foot…
Search your brain for every little thing you know about acoustic guitars. Gather it all into a pile: the stereotypes of hippies and folk music and fifth-year college seniors seducing freshman girls on the quad. Don’t leave out the sleepy, bored sensation you get when you hear acoustic guitar music…
Afrobeta has come a long way from the duo we first caught at venues such as Circa 28 and PS14. (Remember those?) After what seemed like several false starts, the band has finally gotten into a steady stride that saw it drop the 2010 EP Do You Party?, followed by…
The Five-Year Engagement Is Like Stale Doughnuts
We Have a Pope: A Toothless Satire of the Catholic Church
Damsels in Distress: Whit Stillman Returns With a Toe-Tapping College-Girl Fantasy
Safe: Jason Statham Returns for Enjoyable Skull Cracking
The Pirates! Band of Misfits: Aardman Animations Sails the High Seas
The Three Stooges: The Movie: The Farrelly Brothers’ Labor of Love
Charles LeDray’s mixed-media opus Men’s Suits is the type of installation that leaves viewers dumfounded and begging for more. From the dust-covered drop ceiling with harsh fluorescent lights to the grimy linoleum floor covered with racks and bins of Lilliputian clothing, the scene resembles a Detroit down-at-the-heels thrift store rather…
Manatees are ugly creatures. They’re all pudgy and grey, with a face like a cross between Wilford Brimley and the Elephant Man. Yes, they’re precious and valuable life forms, and it sucks that they’re endangered. (Don’t email us, hippies.) Maybe — maybe — you could argue that they’re so ugly…
If you love zombies just as much as you love the Spanish language, 2012 has been a pretty awesome year for you. You already got a first look at Juan of the Dead during this year’s Miami International Film Festival. And starting May 4, you’ll have the chance to see…
Every time a woman masturbates, God kills a kitten. And London socialite Emma Sayle knows that the Earth is overrun with adorable, furry kitties, so she’s created a selective playground for beaver-beaters.”I organize orgies,” said the British “sex-trepreneur” and mind behind Killing Kittens, a network of super-exclusive sexy parties and…
You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you’ll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers’ questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit…
Miami’s seen its share of homages to the Miami Heat trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh: murals, shout-outs in song lyrics, and a healthy portion of the “Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say” video.But Prime Time Amusements is the only one guaranteed to haunt your dreams.The arcade company’s…
Here we are back at Gulfstream Park. When you think of an average day at the track, you might think of gambling, cocktails, dwarfs on horses, etc. Well, not when the Basketball Wives are involved. When they arrive, things start to fly. Literally. We are seriously considering starting a charity…
All the greatest comedic acts of our time have used one recipe for success: an innate sense of showmanship and a keen eye for social commentary. For if not comedians, safe behind the veneer of jokes, who would call Drake an effeminate gorilla? Or even a Puerto Rican tranny?Both of…
First, let us say this: We at Cultist count ourselves among the Miami art scene’s biggest supporters. From its graffiti murals to the works in its galleries, Miami is, in our opinion, one hell of a beautiful place to live.That being said, Miami is home to some ugly-ass art.There’s no…
There’s no denying Miami’s weird-ass ways. So every other week, Welcome to the Future addresses the absurdity of life in the Magic City — in comic art form, naturally…
