He’s Got Your Back

Idiots! That is what we call people who have not seen Napoleon Dynamite. For those who love Tater Tots, tetherball, and building cakes for special ladies, you are cooler than the other side of the pillow. But even if you did not vote for Pedro, you are still welcome to…

Fairies in the Myst

From fairies to falconers, psychics to healing crystals, labyrinth healing to fire walking, the Enchanted Spring Mystical Fair has a little bit of magic for everyone. And with presentations offered in both English and Spanish, it really is a community affair. In addition to artisans displaying beaded, carved, and woven…

Retail by the Sea

The beach or shopping, the beach or shopping — it’s the curse of Miami. But this week you do not have to choose. Get the best of both worlds and head to South Beach’s fashion extravaganza today through Saturday. The event, held in the Fashion Cabana on the sand near…

After Brokeback, Still Queer

This is the year of Brokeback Mountain, in more ways than one. On one hand, it has been proven that queer movies can be a hit in Middle America. On the other, yahoos are frothing at the mouth, and a place like the Bahamas has banned the picture because of…

Knockoff

We’ve all done it — killed an afternoon drinking in a pleasantly grungy roadhouse, boozily enjoying the illusion of having fallen off the grid, playing semiforgotten blues songs on an outdated jukebox, and thinking aloud: See, I should capture this feeling. This should be a movie. Sobered up, we don’t…

Dances with Wheels

John Beauregard was 39 years old when he fell from a construction site and broke his neck. In one awful moment, the builder who loved to ski became a C7 quadriplegic, largely paralyzed from the neck down. “I remember when I first got hurt and for all those many years,…

Stage Capsules

The Sunken Living Room: This is one instance when the story behind the scenes upstages the action in the play. David Caudle’s family drama was scheduled to open in New Orleans last summer, but Hurricane Katrina hit. The play is about a 24-hour period in the life of a dysfunctional…

Stars and Cars

Kenny Scharf’s “Astral Cumulo Uber Express” at the Kevin Bruk Gallery harks back to the Fifties, when the U.S. and Russia were locked in a race to put a monkey in orbit or a man on the moon. During the era in which the Soviets sent Sputnik hurtling across the…

Art Capsules

Borrowed World: The exhibit is split into two distinct viewing spaces, with sculptural works on one side and Paredes’s performance photo pieces on the other. One of the more interesting Cibachrome prints, Gnome, depicts the nude artist in a vibrantly hued emerald forest clearing. Her body, painted white, sprouts a…

When Stars Don’t Align

Americano (MTI) Before he is due to take a high-powered corporate job, college graduate Chris (Joshua Jackson) heads off with two friends (Timm Sharp and Ruthanna Hopper) to Europe, where they end up in Pamplona for the running of the bulls. There, he encounters one of those saucy Latinas (Blade…

Mob Hit Misses

Marlon Brando sleeps with the fishes. But before the legendary actor died, he worked one last job. Curiously, it was for a videogame. In The Godfather: The Game, Brando attempts to relive his Oscar-winning role as Don Vito Corleone. From the raspy voice to the drooping jowls, it’s Vito, all…

New Times‘s top DVD picks for the week of April 18, 2006

A Bigger Splash (First Run) Breakfast on Pluto (Sony) Cross of Iron (Henstooth) Event Horizon: Collector’s Edition (Paramount) Games of Love and Chance (New Yorker) Herbie Hancock: Possibilities (Magnolia) Hostel (Sony) I Am Trying to Break Your Heart (Plexifilm) Kickboxer: Five-Disc Collector’s Set (Lions Gate) The Killing Time (Anchor Bay)…

A Joint Effort

Dude, today is like Christmukkah for stoners. We already whizzed by High Tide (9814 S. Dixie Highway, Miami; 305-670-6633) and bought a new piece for the occasion. To celebrate, we could rip open a bag of Funyuns and watch that killer nature documentary on the Discovery Channel — it’s all…

Give a Hoot

She gives you air to breathe, trees to climb, and grass to smoke — er, mow — and today is the day to thank her for all she does for you. Yes, we are talking about your mother — Mother Earth, that is. Show your planet how much you care…

Full of Hot Air

There is nothing as exhilarating as a heart-fluttering, vertigo-inducing ride on a hot air balloon. Floating in a basket high above the treetops with a burner and a billowing rainbow of fabric above your head is freeing, if a bit frightening. This weekend you can experience the sights without having…

Reeve Against the Machine

Since moving from his native Minnesota six years ago, artist Reeve Schumacher has had his fill of the Sunshine State. His solo show “State of Reeve Schumacher vs. Florida,” opening tonight at Damien B. Contemporary Art Center, takes a confrontational tongue-in-cheek look at his experiences here and is somewhat of…

Hip-Hop Soldiers

If you think you can learn to dance from Brian Friedman, Pulse Dance will give you the chance. The New York based Broadway Dance Center presents a weekend workshop featuring the choreographer from the popular TV show So You Think You Can Dance? He and others will focus on reggaeton,…

Feel Like Making Love

Jessica Holter is unabashed in her sexual prowess. She introduces herself to audiences with the following statement: “I won’t lie. I don’t lie. I give good head.” To many, Holter is better known as the Head Doctor, the founder of the erotic spoken word cabaret troupe called the Punany Poets…

Grills and Thrills

Dub magazine is like the Bible to a specific market of automobile aficionados. The publication speaks to the generation who would trick out their Mercedes with television screens and 24-inch spinners, and bump Bun B in their Bentleys. Hip hop heads who get sweaty over the latest whips will have…

Please Don’t Wear That

Tight-fitting mesh shirts and puffy pirate-wear from International Male. Pleated houndstooth pants with tapered ankles from Chess King. Wild floral and bold, gold rope designs on a silk royal blue button down from that little store called Mr. Man that was tucked in the corner next to Orange Julius. You…

Hey, Another Film Festival!

Oy, such a festival! Cutting edge Israeli cinema and television will be screened at Sunrise Cinemas Intracoastal through May 4 at the Israel Film Festival. Celebrating its 21st edition, the fest has enthralled more than 700,000 cineastes (people who would rather chow down on a can of film stock than…

Domo Arigato, Rabbi Roboto

Jbot, the lead singer and only human member of the band Captured! By Robots initially seems to be a few gigs short of a hard drive. He’s crazy, all right — like a fox. The self described “enslaved human” has been building robot sidemen for a decade. “I played in…