All hell has broken loose, and everyone is a suspect. Everything is a sign. Everyone knows; nobody knows. Yesterday was one of the most ridiculous days in the history of the internet, as Heat fans and Cavs fans sat around their Twitter feeds all day waiting for something, anything, to…

Heat fans are on pins and needles this week, hoping LeBron James ultimately decides once again his best choice is to take his talents to 601 Biscayne Blvd. Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the first LeBron James “Decision,” and unlike this year, the 2010 Decision came with a capital…

The dream is over, and “#belief” has been replaced with fact. Indeed, Team USA mathematically cannot win. The United States’ rousing run at the World Cup ended Tuesday afternoon with an extra-time 2-1 loss to Belgium. Tim Howard put the United States on his back all game, recording a World…

The Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York, is the site for tonight’s 2014 NBA Draft, also known as the “Hey, LeBron, look what I can do!” show. A normal NBA Draft already has lots of moving parts — more than any other professional sport — but with the added pressure…

The news broke yesterday and brought with it a tsunami of speculation and sizzling hot takes: LeBron James was opting out of the remainder of his Miami Heat contract. What will his next move be? LeBron is available to every team in the league come July 1, and every NBA…

Here we go again. Welcome to Lebronapalooza 2014! LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh all have until June 29th to decide whether or not they will trigger the opt-in years in their contracts, and give this Big Three thing another go at it, and Heat Nation anxiously awaits their…

The Miami Heat’s mantra heading into game five versus San Antonio was “Why not us?” But by the time the horn mercifully sounded on their third straight series-ending blowout loss, all they could say was, “Oh, that’s why.” The Heat’s 24-month reign as champions of the basketball world came crashing…

During the Heat’s 107-86 loss to San Antonio last night, my TV kept cutting out. I thought it might be the storms in the area; then I realized it was ABC hitting the dump button every time a fan cursed. It happened a lot. I’m surprised it didn’t happen more…

Julia Dale sang the National Anthem, the crowd chanted “Seven Nation Army,” and fire shot into the sky as the players were introduced to ear-piercing applause. Everything was going according to plan, the NBA Finals were back in Miami, and the Heat’s home was hype with excitement. Then the San…

Bienvenidos a Miami, San Antonio Spurs. You got a lot of splainin’ to do. You see, the rest of America may buy your convenient “Oh, the A/C just happened to break right at tip-off of game one of the NBA Finals, so weird, whoops!” but not us in the Magic…

Shhhhhhhhhh, you hear that? That’s the sound of all the LeBron James cramp memes being deleted from all the Twitter accounts. If you put your ear to your computer screen, you can actually hear the little Instagram heart likes breaking into a thousand pieces and falling to the floor. Welcome…

Both teams tried to “beat the Heat” last night. Only one succeeded. The Heat dropped game one of the NBA Finals 110-95 in a matchup where Miami lost its biggest star, LeBron James, midway through the fourth quarter due to cramps that flared up for one reason: the Spurs’ A/C…

Happy finals, Heat fans! It’s June, so you know what that must mean — your Miami Heat is just a handful of wins away from an NBA title. At this point, Heat fans should treat game one of the NBA Finals like a holiday and get one another presents, maybe…

The Miami Heat must break the Indiana Pacers tonight. It’s time to rid themselves of, as Ray Allen would say, the Pacers “buffoonery.” It’s damn time to get this Pacers team out of our lives, and move onto an NBA Finals rematch against either the Oklahoma City Thunder or San…

If the officials weren’t enough to make Heat fans want to throw a potted plant into their TV sets Wednesday night, Lance Stephenson put them over the edge. In game five’s 93-90 loss, Stephenson put on a display of some of the most obnoxious, childish, and overall disgusting behavior you…

Don’t start none, won’t be none. Lance Stephenson, you picked the wrong dude, bruh. LeBron James farted thunder and shit lightning all Memorial Day long on his way to a 32-point, ten-rebound, five-assist night that was full of King Cobra hissssssss and the perfect rebuke to Stephenson’s talk before the…

Happy Memorial Day Miami Heat fans! Let’s basketball, shall we? The Heat are back at it tonight at the American Airlines Arena, with tip off set for 8:30. The Heat are in a position to take a commanding 3-1 series lead after a Ray Allen three-point barrage filled fourth quarter…

The Miami Heat beat the Indiana Pacers 87-83 in another thriller Tuesday night and in turn stole home-court advantage in the series heading into Saturday night’s matchup in Miami. The win basically deletes the meaning of the entire regular season, taking away home court from the first-seed Pacers and placing…

Basketball is the most frustrating sport to watch as a fan, because even when your team wins, the other team scores a good 30 to 50 times. And when your crew loses? It’s the worst. Nobody likes to lose. Losing is for losers. Heat fans know the drill all too…

The Miami Heat’s 107-96 loss to the Indiana Pacers Sunday was about as enjoyable to consume as a poop-filled Chipotle burrito, but then again, people frickin’ love Chipotle no matter what, so maybe that’s a bad analogy. Seriously, though, this game was shitty. It was a wire-to-wire collective sitting-in-a-circle-holding-hands crapping…

Well, well, well, it looks like we have ourselves a good ol’ fashioned Mexican standoff here . After eight months of basketball, the Miami Heat find themselves right where they always figured they would be, four games from their fourth straight NBA Finals appearance, with only the Indiana Pacers standing…