Dance-Off in Aisle Five

Today marks the beginning of autumn, and while our northern brethren experience dropping leaves and temperatures this time of year, for us the season means too many out-of-state house guests and too much potential hurricane drama. But it’s not all bad. We finally get to sleep with our windows open,…

We See Boas!

If you spend enough time in South Beach after dark, you probably know a couple of queens. But just in case you haven’t been keeping up with the cross-dressing scene, let us introduce you to one of our city’s most widely known female impersonators: marytrini, a.k.a. “The Empress of Drag.”…

Chi Under the Sun

When you found out those symbols tattooed onto your back really mean “sweet-and-sour sauce,” you were kinda mad. But when you learned those plastic chopsticks your favorite Chinese bistro gives you have been used before — like more than twice — you were heated at the entire country of China…

Out of the Darkness, Into the Spotlight

The last time someone told you to “keep it on the down low,” it meant you needed to shut your pretty little trap and keep things secret. But ever since author J.L. King released his book On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of “Straight” Black Men Who…

Strap on Your Shin Guards

After last season’s playoff debacle, you retired your ratty Miami Heat T-shirt, and you can’t even remember what you did with your Dolphins jersey after Ricky left for the last time. But don’t let your current state of discontent force you to completely abandon all of South Florida’s sports organizations…

Relax, Relate, Release

We know you give 100 percent at work all week, you hard worker, you. Ten percent on Monday, 35 percent on Tuesday, and by Wednesday, it’s prime time to kick up your heels and treat yourself to some much-needed rest and relaxation. It’s also the best day to leave your…

Raise the Roof, Pass the Dramamine

In the past he has invited you to “Pop That Coochie” and told you exactly in which positions to place your face and ass. (The first goes down, the other goes up, in case you were wondering). But now, on the first Friday of each month, Luther Campbell is inviting…

Shake What Your Mama Gave Ya

When American Idol auditions recently breezed through town, the reality-TV fame-seeker you are had a little itch to go out there and try your hand at it. After all, you can out-mumble William Hung, and your hair is fiercer than Sanjaya’s on its worst day. You were prepared to bring…

Welcome to Havana

Like any good Miamian, you probably have a healthy curiosity about and enjoyment of all things Cuban. We’re not talking just extra-strong coffee and kicked-up ham-and-cheese sandwiches. You’ve often wondered about son music, and during late nights on the couch, you’ve wished you could speak español fluently and flipped to…

Pop a Wheelie on SoBe

If you’ve been paying attention to our Bike Blog (blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/bike_blog), you know we think traveling on two wheels is supercool. Sure, the helmet can kind of kill the wind-in-your-hair buzz you get from riding in the car, but an awesome bell and some tassels on your handlebars more than make…

Do You Want to Know a Secret?

Unless you’ve been living in a mangrove, you’ve probably heard something about the latest cultural phenomenon, The Secret, the self-help book and DVD that tout the power of the Law of Attraction. Sure it has Oprah, Larry King, and the rest of the world talking, but you’re still not convinced…

Not Your Everyday Book Launch

Maybe you’ve heard about Misshapes, the trendsetting DJ collective from NYC that created a culture including the city’s most infamous punk rockers, celebrities, models, and downtown kids. Geordon Nicol, Leigh Lezark, and Greg Krelenstein launched their über-cool weekly party to fill a void. In the process, they put their own…

No Starving Artists Here

We’ve seen art in the most outrageous places — on bathroom stalls, in parking lots, on rusty shipping containers. But when we heard there would be an exhibit inside a Quiznos, we nearly keeled over! The fun doesn’t stop at the sub shop tonight from 6:00 to 8:00. Art on…

Flights of Frugality

:Ah, Labor Day. You know it as the last chance to rock in those white patent-leather boots, but the true purpose is to give the hard-working man — and woman — some well-deserved rest. So, teachers and bankers, doctors and lawyers, pimps and hoes, you can officially put your feet…

Walk It Out

So you think you know it all when it comes to South Beach, huh? Sure, you can easily rattle off a list of the hottest clubs, choicest restaurants, and most annoyingly long stoplights, but we’re thinking you still have more to learn. In fact we happen to know that you…

Groovin’ at the Grille

It’s Saturday night and your stomach is growling, hungry for some culinary comfort. So you head to The Mahogany Grille for some soul food, and find yourself indulging in Asiago cheese grits, bread pudding, fried chicken, and waffles. Your belly is full, but you’re still feeling an emptiness deep inside…

The Yogi’s Revenge

Last summer you blamed “karma” (and your cheating ex-lover) for that weird rash on your bum. But this year you’re gonna thank that bitch for giving you more energy, increased flexibility, and a bangin’ body after an hour of Karma Yoga at the Sports Club LA/Miami. So what’s so karmic…

Microphone Fiend

We see you in your car, thrusting your imaginary gun in the air, rapping furiously to Tupac’s “All Eyez on Me.” Yeah, we point and giggle at you, but deep down we relate because in our little studio apartment we become Lil’ Kim, Ghostface Killa, and Jay-Z on the regular…

Basketball Jones

When you watch a pro basketball game, you’re seeing the results of hours of grueling practices, coaching strategies, and physical conditioning. But today and tomorrow when you go to Gulfstream Park for the South Florida leg of the 2007 Hoop It Up 3 on 3 National Basketball Tour, you’ll be…

The Opposite of Blue

Last Friday you spent the evening at Club BigBucks, paying $20 for watered-down cocktails, being trampled by Eurotrash tourists, and listening to a celebrity DJ scream over the tracks all night long. Don’t you feel like getting a little therapy? We prescribe a dose of Blue’s anniversary party. Tonight this…

Obama for Loose Change

The 2008 presidential election is still more than a year away, but the campaign trail is already buzzing. Whether they love him or hate him, Americans want to know more about Barack Obama. He’s something like a rock star, gracing the covers of magazines and inspiring hot chicks to pen…

A Real-Life Soap Opera

You might not have been able to watch a daytime soap since you submitted to the nine-to-five grind, but we’re sure you’d recognize Victoria Rowell, a Young and the Restless beauty. Until her departure from the show this year, she had gaggles of Drucilla-obsessed fans tuning in daily to see…