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Jerry Iannelli

Jerry Iannelli is a former staff writer for Miami New Times from 2015 to March 2020. He graduated with honors from Temple University. He then earned a master’s degree in journalism from Columbia University.

Coke-Snorting Dolphins Coach Is the Funniest Miami Halloween Costume of 2017

By Jerry IannelliOctober 31, 2017

To be honest, a cocaine-addicted Miami Dolphins executive costume would have made sense for each of the past 50 Halloweens. But after Fins offensive line coach Chris Foerster was caught on video earlier this month snorting cocaine in the team’s offices, asking to lick cocaine off a Nevada model’s “pussy,” and using said model as a “cocaine platter,” the now-disgraced coach had to expect that some Schadenfreude-obsessed folks would make fun of him at Halloween parties.

Miami Has the Second-Most Stressed-Out Drivers in America, Study Says

By Jerry IannelliOctober 31, 2017

For the past eight years, Miamians have ranked as one of the most stressed-out populations in America. And being trapped in an overpopulated city without adequate public transportation doesn’t help. Metrorail sucks so bad it’s referred to as “Metrofail,” and somehow we still haven’t figured out a way to build a train across the bay to South Beach.

Five Red Flags About Miami’s New Cop Union Chief, Including an FBI Probe

By Jerry IannelliOctober 21, 2017

This past Wednesday, newly minted Miami Police Capt. Javier Ortiz, the most infamous, nakedly rude, and loudmouthed cop in South Florida, stepped down from his post as head of the city’s Fraternal Order of Police. But “stepped down” might be giving him too much credit: He voluntarily demoted himself to vice president and put his well-known buddy, Sgt. Edward Lugo, in charge of the union.

Ex-North Miami Beach Mayor Charged With Stealing $150,000 From Investor

By Jerry IannelliOctober 17, 2017

When former North Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner pleaded guilty last year to campaign-finance violations, a condition of his probation was, naturally, that he not commit crimes while he was under supervised release. Well, this is a former Miami-area public official we’re talking about, so here we are: Rosner, age 57, is back in jail today after getting caught allegedly defrauding an investor to the tune of $150,000.

Miami Beach Man Used Machete to Slash 11 Fire Alarms While Wearing Kevlar Helmet, Cops Say

By Jerry IannelliOctober 17, 2017

If you don’t like living in an apartment complex where fire alarms can go off anytime, you have two options. One, you could simply not live in an apartment complex. Or two, in the case of Miami Beach’s Erik Agazim, you could allegedly strap a tactical vest to your chest, buckle on a Kevlar helmet, grab your long rifle and machete sitting around, and hack down fire alarms in your Sunset Harbour building.

Marco Rubio Compares Iran Nuclear Deal to Appeasing Hitler, Which Is Insane

By Jerry IannelliOctober 16, 2017

This weekend, Marco Rubio fell victim to Godwin’s Law, the adage that, given enough time, every internet discussion will eventually devolve into an inappropriate comparison to the Nazis. Sadly, Rubio is actually a U.S. senator, so his insane comparison of the Iran nuclear deal to a Hitler-appeasing mistake is a bit more troubling than a Twitter user calling his enemy Goebbels.

Just 3 Percent of Miami Two-Bedroom Apartments Are Cheap Enough to Qualify for Rental Assistance

By Jerry IannelliOctober 16, 2017

One of the main programs that helps poor people pay rent, the Section 8 housing voucher, awards money to needy families to help them afford privately owned apartments. But the feds won’t pay for a waterfront penthouse — rent needs to sit below a “fair market rent” threshold, a guideline the government uses to determine whether you’re blowing too much cash on a fancy home.

Here’s How Insanely Dangerous Miami’s Old Smokey Trash Incinerator Was

By Jerry IannelliOctober 15, 2017

The City of Miami has the makings of a massive lawsuit on its hands. After the city’s racist, Old South government crammed a belching, eye-stinging smokestack into a segregated, black-only part of Coconut Grove in 1925, residents complained for years that the trash-burning incinerator was bad for their health and probably giving them cancer.

Miami Sued for Dumping Cancer-Causing Toxic Ash on Segregated Neighborhood

By Jerry IannelliOctober 11, 2017

For decades, Miami’s “Old Smokey” trash incinerator operated near Coconut Grove, belching smoke over George Washington Carver K-12 School, a segregated, black-only school from its inception in 1899 until the county desegregated in 1966. In 2014, New Times tracked down residents who grew up under Old Smokey’s ash plume, and quickly discovered many of them later developed respiratory problems, sinus issues, chronically itchy eyes, and even pancreatic cancer.