This week, New Times published “I, Max,” a feature story revealing what became of former Medellin Cartel master-smuggler Max Mermelstein after he decided to cooperate with feds and entered the Witness Protection Program. We’ve obtained documents, many of them never before published, related to the underground informant. Max Mermelstein died…
The saga of Renyel Pinto, fugitive Marlins reliever, continues. In November, Riptide reported that the rotund Venezuelan pitcher had skipped court dates in both Miami-Dade and Broward counties and was being chased by an arrest warrant and a $6,000 summary judgment as a result.Worse yet, in our mind, Pinto’s Facebook…
Olympic athletes sure are incredible — or at least that’s what the people on television keep telling us — but South Florida’s morons perform far more unbelievable feats on a weekly basis. We’ve had a road-raging woman complete a seven-felony dash in 3.7 seconds. An old man shot his foot…
So on Tuesday afternoon we were hanging out with Riptide’s new favorite rapper, live-TV-newscast crashing Lyrikill.com — yes, his MC name is a domain — outside of a Fort Lauderdale Walgreen’s. Why? Because that’s where his “sound engineer and bodyguard,” a rotund fellow named Doughboy, AKA King David, works. Duh…..
Northwest Dade’s C-9 Basin goes dark after the county cuts the electricity
Since publishing an exposé about illegal slaughterhouses in northwest Miami-Dade’s C-9 basin last year, Riptide has chronicled other strange offenses: killed horses, brazen cockfighting, endangered wood storks used for target practice, illegal dumping, and protected swamplands used as oil-drenching semi-truck parking lots. The county has finally taken notice, and in…
Can it be only last week that we were invaded by hordes of screaming, mildly retarded tourists? It seems they have left some of their finest morons, many of them in jail cells throughout the county. Let’s take a look at the Morons of the Week: Super Bowl Aftermath Edition…
Corporations like Gatorade, T-Mobile, and Nike have paid many millions of dollars to go into business with Heat demi-God Dwyane Wade. But what of the little man? Shouldn’t everybody, even if they live with their parents in South Miami, be able to partner with an NBA superstar? Apparently, 20-year-old Michael…
Calder Race Course trainer suspected of selling thoroughbreds to a slaughterhouse
Take a roundtrip ride on the Dade-Broward 95 Express Bus
It’s something Miamians don’t like to think about, but it’s true: There exist a few unfortunate souls who are forced to periodically travel to Broward County for reasons related to work, Panthers games, and ex-wives. Now they have a bus. Miami-Dade Transit recently launched the 95 Express Bus, which travels…
On Monday afternoon, as part of his I Need to Stay in the NFL Because I Owe $20 Million Tour, quarterback/dogfighter Michael Vick showed up at the Overtown Youth Center to thoroughly confuse a gymnasium full of little kids. Who is this dead-eyed man, and are we supposed to emulate…
Disco Rick will not be pleased. At some point during Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco’s Hypnotiq-addled sleepless binge that was Super Bowl weekend, apparently he swept up some young, impressionable lads and showed them his advanced dollar-fluttering techniques– at Tootsie’s Cabaret strip club. From his Twitter page: His homie from…
Word on the street is some kind of athletic contest will take place in the Miami area this weekend. Such frivolous spectacles do not interest Riptide. We are more fascinated by contests of the mind — or, more specifically, finding out who’s been really dumb in the county this week…
New Times’ Super Bowl XLIV guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida
Suspended Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones’s Café Soul gets evicted
Commissioner Marc Sarnoff has some very vocal enemies among business-owners in the Coconut Grove parcel of his district, thanks in large part to his unwavering support of a 3 a.m. bar curfew there. Public officials — especially those with controversial stances — usually expect to take a smattering of public ridicule as part…
Sometimes Riptide likes to reminisce about our long and circuitous relationship with Michelle Spence-Jones. Like the good ol’ days, last June, when she was still Overtown/Liberty City commissioner and we were trying to track her down for comment about her involvement in the case of since-convicted grand thief Rev. Gaston…
We’ve long known Cincinatti wide receiver and Miami native Chad Ochocinco has a somewhat colorful personality — we were sort of tipped off when he legally changed his last name to a bad Spanish translation of his jersey number — but he seems to be really coming into his own…
Is there even any point in playing the season now that we know for a fact the Marlins will win the World Series this year? It has been foretold by the oracles of our time: the props department of long-canceled “near-future” submarine drama seaQuest DSV. (For the record, we have…
Now this isn’t sensationalist at all. No, the Brevard-based sexual predator watchdog group Protect Our Children (POC) is being entirely reasonable. If you disagree, you’re most likely a pedophile — or Roger Daltrey.The Who’s Pete Townshend will come to South Florida to perform at the Super Bowl. In 2003, the…
So, recently inducted Hall of Famer and Miami product Andre Dawson is complaining the Hall of Fame has him wearing the cap of the now-defunct Montreal Expos in his plaque, when he made it clear he wanted to be honored for all baseball-ternity as a Chicago Cub. We’ve just finished…
