Coming into yesterday’s rematch in the Meadowlands, Jets players called the Miami Dolphins a gimmicky team, called their Wildcat formation “nonsense,” and called Chad Henne a clown. They said they couldn’t wait to play Miami again, claimed they were the better team and threatened to take out Henne. DE Shaun…
Despite winning the last two meetings against the New York Jets, the Dolphins enter Sunday’s rematch as 3-point underdogs. This is mainly because the Jets are coming off a big win against the Raiders (which is basically the equivalence of beating a team made up entirely of organ grinders and…
In an off-season that saw Shaq go to the Cavaliers and Vince Carter get traded to Orlando, the Miami Heat stood pat and will look to build on last year’s 43-win season by asking Dwyane Wade to, once again, play the roll of Atlas. Despite an inconsistent supporting cast, D-Wade…
When a team leads 24-10 at the half while having forced three turnovers, combined for five sacks and rushed for 128 yards and four touchdowns, that team will, more often than not, end up the victor. But this is the Miami Dolphins. Normal rules need not apply. This is Suck…
For all the gargantuan shit stains Nick Saban left on the Dolphins’ proverbial bed, no shit stain was as big a shit stain as the shit stain he left in the form of not signing Drew Brees when the Chargers made him available. Instead, Saban went with Daunte Culpepper. The…
Stephen Ross’s quest to make the Miami Dolphins the most ridiculous franchise in the NFL is nearly complete. As if getting D-list celebrities that haven’t been relevant since the Clinton administration to sign on as minority owners and hiring T-Pain to ruin the original Dolphins fight song weren’t enough, there’s…
It’s been an eventful off-season for the Miami Heat. But not in a good way. Instead of signing a free agent (or 30 free agents) to bring Dwyane Wade some much-needed help, the team brought us talented but troubled Michael Beasley battling his personal demons on Twitter. Beasley posted pictures…
The Miami Dolphins coaching staff must be avid readers of Riptide. Because they pretty much ran down the checklist of our three keys for a Dolphins victory post and came out on top with a thrilling, last-second 31-27 victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. You’re welcome, everybody!It was…
Tonight is the Judgment Day, Hour of Reckoning, massively hysterical, Road to Armageddon, cats-and-dogs-living-together apocalyptic showdown between the Dolphins and Jets at Land Shark Stadium. Here are three key factors:1. Rex Ryan Knows How to Stop the Wildcat, Can Eat an Entire X-Mas Ham: Yes, Jets head coach Rex Ryan acts like…
Now that the Miami Dolphins’ mission to get to the playoffs has officially gone tits up, it’s time to focus on the new task at hand. Namely, to completely eradicate the New York Jets, their loudmouth head coach, and their overhyped quarterback. Not to mention shutting up the most obnoxious…
You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington’s shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the Buffalo Bills, all seemed lost…
We’ve had the worst luck with our quarterbacks since Dan Marino retied in 1999. And now, with Chad Pennington’s shoulder turning to shredded wheat last Sunday, it looks like the Chad Henne era is upon us sooner than anticipated. Henne comes with a rep for underachieving as a 4-year starter…
Before last year, the Miami Dolphins hadn’t beaten AFC East rivals Buffalo Bills for several years. But that futility was pre-Bill Parcells. In the two games since Tony Sparano took the helm, Miami’s defense has allowed only 19 points to Buffalo, while linebacker Joey Porter delivered what could only be…
What’s it like to be a fan of the Miami Dolphins? All you need to do is look at the team’s very first drive of Sunday’s clustercrap of a game to know. That or have someone take a crowbar to your crotch, full Gillooly.The Fins opened things with a perfectly…
For all the ups and downs of the 2009 Florida Marlins season, there has been one constant. No, not the terrible relief pitching, but rather the ability to beat the bejesus out of their NL East rival New York Mets at every chance. The Marlins enter this weekend with a…
If there were one word to describe the 2009 Florida Marlins — besides maybe craptastico — it would be implosive. This was a team so close to a postseason berth, but a plethora of strikeouts, a horsecrap bullpen, and a battle between the two biggest stars pretty much guaranteed they’d…
According to coolstandings.com, a website devoted to baseball odds, the Florida Marlins have only a 5 percent chance of making the playoffs this year. However, the oddsmakers have been unable to see the emergence of leftfielder Chris Coghlan. The leadoff man ended the month of August with 46 hits, the…
Streaks are generally a good thing, unless we’re talking about those people in England who run around naked at tennis and soccer matches. Or the Florida Marlins. The Fish had a pretty cool streak a few weeks ago when they went 15 straight games with ten or more hits —…
The good news is the Florida Marlins took down the league-leading Dodgers a few weeks ago. The bad news is the Nationals, the worst team in the majors, swept the Fish soon after. The good news is they were able to bounce back and sweep the defending World Series champion…
Remember when the Miami Dolphins were the laughingstock of the NFL? When opposing teams penciled them in as an automatic win every season, and it was excruciatingly embarrassing to admit you were a fan? Yeah, neither do we. Well, maybe a little. But knowing the Fins are entering this season…
Just before the deadline, the Florida Marlins traded for Washington Nationals first baseman Nick Johnson. When the Fish trade for a player, he’s usually some useless aging relief pitcher with Styrofoam for ligaments in his throwing shoulder. But this time, the Marlins landed a much-needed bat in hopes that his…
In case you haven’t noticed (and you probably haven’t), the Florida Marlins are making some noise in the National League postseason race. And in case you didn’t think it possible for them to make a serious run (and you probably didn’t), you should rethink that position, because the Fish seem…
