The Teal Curtain

When the 2009 Miami Dolphins schedule came out last spring, it was widely assumed the Fins would play for their season against a Pittsburgh Steelers team that already would have clinched home field and would be resting its starters on the last game of the regular season. Instead, both teams…

Top Ten of the Decade: Miami Sports Moments

Riptide 2.0’s regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn’t make the cut. Sorry. 10. Canes BaseballCoach Jim Morris and his…

Texans vs. Dolphins Recap: A Tale of Two Halves

That Dolphins halftime speech must have been some kind of fire and brimstone sermon. Something along the lines of Henry V’s Saint Crispen’s Day address. The pre-game speech, meh, not so much. It was probably more along the lines of, “Okay men, we’re gonna go out there and we’re gonna…

Hit ’Em in the Lone Star

The Houston Texans have been a major pain in the Miami Dolphins’ ass the past three seasons. In 2006, Houston got a two-point victory thanks to a pair of David Carr (David F*%$ing Carr!) touchdowns. In 2007, Texans DT Travis Johnson nearly decapitated Fins QB Trent Green when Green tried…

Four Reasons the Dolphins Crapped the Bed on Their Season

Just days before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to come up with another big win to inch closer to a post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 27-24 loss in overtime to the Tennessee Titans. There’s plenty of blame to go…

Feeling the Friendly Confines

The Miami Heat returns to the American Airlines Arena after a West Coast road trip that saw the team survive a crushing Kobe Bryant buzzer beater, a blowout in Denver, and Dwyane Wade dropping 34 on the Kings. Their coming home stand promises to be chock full of subplots as…

Even Odenless, Still Dangerous

This Sunday, the Miami Heat face the Portland Trailblazers, who just lost the oldest 21-year-old in the world, center Greg Oden, for the season with a knee injury. That’s the good news. The not-so-good news: Heat-killer Brandon Roy is still alive and well. The game begins at 6 p.m. Sun.,…

To Booz or Not to Booz?

This Wednesday, the Utah Jazz come to town to take on your Miami Heat. The Jazz has long had two of Pat Riley’s most coveted players in Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams. Boozer will be a free agent next year, which means all Riles has to do is put together…

Miami Dolphins in the Thick of It

If we had told you before this game started that the Dolphins would only manage to score 14 points in the first half, zero points in the second half, turn the ball over three times in enemy territory, but will still win the game, you would have stabbed us in…

Miami Dolphins Win: Never Say Die!

Just when you thought they were good and dead, the Miami Dolphins pull off one of the most satisfying, Scarlett-Johansson’s-knockers-in-your-face awesome victories of the 2009 season. It came thanks in large part to Chad Henne, Vontae Davis, and a Dolphins team that simply won’t die.On their first drive of the…

The Heat Has Cooled

The Miami Heat kicked the year off with a bang with a franchise-best 6-1 record in the first weeks of the regular season. Since then however, they’ve been hit with a mild case of The Mediocrity, dropping games to top tier teams like the Magic, Cavs and Celtics as well…

One if by LandShark, Two if by Sea

Yes, the New England Patriots are the class of the division. But, as Joey Porter likes to continually remind everyone, the Miami Dolphins are still the defending AFC East champs. And even though Porter had as many tackles as your sister could have pulled off when New England beat Miami…

Dolphins Choke on Thanksgiving Weekend

Four things you must have in order to be a Miami Dolphins fan:A total lack of surprise when they lose to a 3-7 team.An understanding that when they’re presented with a golden opportunity scenario, they, more often than not, blow said opportunity.An expectation that things can and eventually will implode.Booze…

Circle Your Fun Wagons

The last time the Miami Dolphins saw the Buffalo Bills, the Fins had just lost Chad Pennington the year after his shoulder crumbled into a fine powder. They were forced to start Chad Henne sooner than expected and were sitting at an abysmal 0-3. All seemed bleak and hopeless. But…

Ricky Williams and His Amazing Feats of Ass-Kickery

First things first: Ricky Williams is now officially the Ambassador of Fucking Your Shit Up and Knocking Fools’ Dicks Into the Dirt after last night’s brilliant 119-yard, three-touchdown performance. Many had their doubts about the Dolphins’ ability to effectively run the ball without Ronnie Brown. But Ricky silenced all the…

Miami Dolphins Preview: Win or Call It a Season

And so we come to this. Sitting at 4-5, the Miami Dolphins face a must-win game tonight as take on the equally desperate (and some would say equally craptastic) 4-5 Carolina Panthers. The winner will experience the sweet taste of being a .500 team for the first time this season…

Don’t Question the Q

The Miami Heat is off to its hottest start in franchise history. Much of the ball-bashing goodness is due, of course, to Dwyane Wade’s usual bad-ass-ness. And watching Michael Beasley grow up before our eyes as the once-and-future starting power forward has been a delight. But an unsung hero seems…

Miami Dolphins: The Robot Leads Miami to an Ugly Win

Well, we did say in our preview that this one felt like it was going to be closer than it should be? And, Christ, was it ever. Ugly win? This was lady-bitten-in-the-face-by-a-crazy-ass-chimp ugly as the Dolphins mangled, bungled, and stumbled their way to a 25-23 victory over the lowly Buccaneers…

Miami Dolphins Preview: Avast Ye Ass Kickers!

So, the Dolphins clearly cannot hang with the likes of the Colts, Saints, Falcons or Patriots. We get that. But this Sunday, the Fins host what is most likely the worst team in the NFL this side of Detroit – the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And while Miami does have the…

He’s as Scary as the Other Jason

When Jason Taylor was traded to the Washington Redskins last season, it left a huge void in the Miami Dolphins. Watching JT strut around in those burnt-red Redskins colors was like watching Bizarro Superman. It just didn’t look or feel right. Lucky for us all, the Fins re-signed Taylor this…

Miami Dolphins Lose: Hauntingly Familiar

When Vontae Davis started off the game with a leaping interception that can only be described as Fuck Yea!, the consensus feeling was the Dolphins were going to make this one interesting. Maybe even pull off the upset. Alas, it was not to be. The Patriots were able to show…

Miami Dolphins Preview: One Insufferable Fanbase Down, One To Go

When last we saw our Miami Dolphins, they were busy beating the bejesus out of the shitdipping trash-talking New York Jets, and silencing their shitdipping trash-talking fans in the process. It was one of the most satisfying wins in recent memory. Jason Taylor was able to talk some trash of…