Audio By Carbonatix
For a first class luxury hotel, Magic City‘s Miramar
certainly does have a ton of death and injuries revolving around it. Granted,
1959 was far before the invention of Yelp, so you couldn’t just dash off a three
star review because the blonde prostitute in the parking lot got killed. Still, you’d think word would get around.
We open on the funeral of Mike Strauss, who
is now 100 percent confirmed dead, as opposed to his previous just-kind-of-suspected-to-be-dead
status. But before they can give him a proper Jewish
sendoff, White Dude: District Attorney is back on the scene to dickishly take
the body in for a third autopsy. Why do you have to be so thorough with your
job, WD:DA?
This is a very Danny-heavy episode, which, um, OK. Every character needs his own episode to flesh out his back story and personality, we guess, and so far all we
know about Danny is that he is sweet but dense. By the end of the episode we
also know that he is sweet and VERY dense.
Danny fails to see that White Dude:
District Attorney is trying to pin the Strauss case on his dad. In a hotel full
of women who seemingly will sleep with anyone who will look them in the eye for
longer that 15 seconds, he struggles to get past first base with his chaste
gal-pal who is preoccupied with getting a relative out of Cuba. Oh, and he gets
bopped in the head and has to go to the hospital when someone breaks into
Stevie’s room. In contrast, his brother spent most of the episode having sex
with Judi. But hey, you keep doing you, Danny.
At the hospital, Ike and Stevie reminisce about their dead
wife/mother, which is awkward for Vera who had to deal with the Mahjong partners
being bitchy and trying to go to lunch with Jackie Kennedy. But then Stevie
placates her by convincing her that much like at the Olive Garden, she’s
family. Speaking of family, where are they hiding their daughter? We’d
speculate (fat camp), but there is more sex and violence to discuss.
And you can’t have sex and violence without the Butcher, who
gets his wife to masturbate for him as he watches from a glass ceiling from the
second story of his mansion. Did private windows where you can watch people rub
one off as you pretend you are God come standard with houses in the ’50s, or
did you have to install them? We missed that episode of I Love Lucy. Oh, he
also contracts someone to kill Judi because she is too close to the Strauss
case.
But in a twist of fate where another woman wore Judi’s wig, mixed with the classic BET ComicView lesson of all white girls looking alike, the
shooter kills another blonde prostitute accidentally while she gives a dude fellatio in a car. Magic City is a show with a simple message: Oral sex in motor vehicles is deadly!
The episode ends with the burial of Mike Strauss, whose body
was retrieved by Ike leaning on a government stooge’s gambling debt, set to
some decidedly not 1959 music. You can’t have Sinatra play the Miramar
every week. Fitting though, that for an episode with so much discussion of God
and religion we go out on a burial. Oh, and the dude who broke into Stevie’s
room now has the pictures of him with the butcher’s wife. But we doubt that is
the sort of thing that will come back up in future episodes, they’ll probably
just continue to stick to the thrilling story of Vera trying to get Jackie
Kennedy for a dinner. We’ll just
have to wait until next week to find out!
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