Skrawberry’s Guide to Making Your Own Sex Tape

You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you’ll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers’ questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit her up at skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com.

Dear Skrawberry,

My girlfriend’s pretty shy, but she lately said she’d be down to make a sex tape. You know I wanna jump on that! But I don’t wanna fuck it up, because who knows if she’ll do it again. So do you have any advice on how to make it?

Cameraready

Cameraready,

When makin’ a sex tape, you have to be sure that that’s really what you want. It may come back to haunt you. So first, I’d suggest when you do it, don’t show your face.

Make sure the lighting is good, and don’t have any unless art noise that’s gonna distract you from viewin’ what you are really suppose to be watchin’. Make sure your background is clean and there is no junk scattered around everywhere. It’s nothing sexy about that!

Before you guys go filmin’, make sure that neither one of you will give two shits about it if it was ever to be leaked. I mean, everyone can’t be as lucky as Kim Kardashian. And I’m pretty sure your girlfriend isn’t as rich as Paris Hilton! Keep the tape in a safe place, and when you two get upset — or even worse, break-up — destroy it!

When doin’ the tape, set the mood and make it sexy. Even if you guys plan on fuckin’ like dogs — or even lions — keep it cute. No one finds a ratchet-ass porno sexy, even if you yourself is staring as lead actor!

Skrawberry

Email your questions for Skrawberry to skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com. Follow Skrawberry on Twitter @Skraw_Berry.

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