A month or two ago, the Bike Blog mentioned that the time of the World Naked Bike Ride – a worldwide event in which cyclists take to the streets in the buff -- was neigh. After endorsing it wholeheartedly, we promptly forgot all about it and therefore didn’t have to contemplate doing the deed. We were safe.
Until this week when, thanks to a tip from local bike messenger Chris Alphin, we discovered that the WNBR is this weekend.
Alphin pointed the Bike Blog to a wiki posting about the event which states, in bright bold letters, that the event will be held this Saturday, June 9, at the intersection of Alton and Lincoln Roads, at 5:30 p.m.
The funny thing is this: after numerous phone calls to all of the usual suspects, the Bike Blog can’t find a single cyclist who knew about the event or who knows anyone else going. The organizers – and the intended participants – remain a mystery to this reporter. Of course, there’s one easy way to solve the mystery: in the pursuit of truth and the furtherance of bicycle culture, the Bike Blog plans to be there, 5:30 p.m., sharp.
That being the case, we thought it best to put in a call to the Miami Beach Police Department to find out just what the potential consequences of riding in our birthday suits might be. Public Information Officer Robert Hernandez didn’t get specific on enforcement or penalties, but he did have this to say about general Miami Beach policy on nudity:
“It is illegal to expose your sexual organs. Weather you are on a bike or not. On the beach, topless men/women is acceptable. Once you leave the beach the top must come back on.”
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
We are assuming that “on the beach” refers to the sand near the ocean and not the eponymous city – but either way, Hernandez’ response indicates that riding naked might carry with it certain legal ramifications. The WNBR posting itself acknowledges this possibility and informs the gentle reader that “Hula skirts, lamp shades, phallic socks, body paint, G-strings, pasties, or any creative design of your imagination is encouraged.”
Unfortunately, the posting doesn’t say what to do if you don’t have a “phallic sock,” but we extrapolate that the regular kind will work.
See you there? Leave a comment and let us know. Could be big. The ride, I mean. -- Isaiah Thompson