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The ABCs of Living in Miami

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Like the famed python that tried to eat an entire alligator, Miami is literally exploding with new residents. Census figures released in April show South Florida has grown by nearly half a million people since 2010. They're drawn to the balmy weather, white-sand beaches, and, of course, Miami's proximity to the United States.

But ask any of those new residents and they'll tell you: Adjusting to life in Dade County ain't easy. Sometimes you need a guide to really appreciate the intricacies of the MIA. That's why we've compiled this illustrated, A-Z handbook to everything we love about living here.

Alligators are cold-blooded, just like Gov. Rick Scott.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

The Bawse is Rick Ross, king of Miami hip-hop.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Chonga is a distinctly local word for a Hialeah princess.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Dolphins: Often seen in Biscayne Bay, rarely in the NFL playoffs.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

The Estefan clan is forever royalty in Dade County.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Florida Man lives here and regularly embarrasses us with his bath-salts-fueled crimes.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Guava makes the perfect pastelito.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Homestead is the best place to find Mexican food.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

I-95 is our main north-south artery, and probably where you will die.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Jet Skis are fun, but never trust DJ Khaled on one.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

King of Diamonds is America's only strip club with its own basketball court.

The ABCs of Living in MiamiEXPAND
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

LeBron James still wishes he lived in South Beach, and we all know it.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Miami International Airport usually resembles a scene out of Mad Max.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Noche Buena: Not a good night for the pig you're roasting.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Ocean Drive is for tourists only. Head to Washington Avenue.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Peacocks that wander Coconut Grove and El Portal are not edible.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Queens run Miami. Just ask Juleisy y Karla.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Sen. Marco Rubio swears he has a spine. He really does.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

"Supposably" is not a word, but we use it every day.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Turn signals are about as useful on Miami roads as horse-drawn buggies.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

The Underline will soon transform the area beneath Metrorail into an urban green space.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Ventanitas sell coladas, and sometimes cocaine.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Wynwood: A synonym for outdoor murals and gentrification.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

X-rated porn is probably being filmed in the empty condo next door.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Yellow lights are even less enforced than marijuana laws.

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The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

Zika-carrying mosquitoes won't kill you. Relax.

The ABCs of Living in Miami
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

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