The ABCs of Living in Miami

Like the famed python that tried to eat an entire alligator, Miami is literally exploding with new residents. Census figures released in April show South Florida has grown by nearly half a million people since 2010. They’re drawn to the balmy weather, white-sand beaches, and, of course, Miami’s proximity to the United States.

But ask any of those new residents and they’ll tell you: Adjusting to life in Dade County ain’t easy. Sometimes you need a guide to really appreciate the intricacies of the MIA. That’s why we’ve compiled this illustrated, A-Z handbook to everything we love about living here.

Alligators are cold-blooded, just like Gov. Rick Scott.

The Bawse is Rick Ross, king of Miami hip-hop.

Chonga is a distinctly local word for a Hialeah princess.

Dolphins: Often seen in Biscayne Bay, rarely in the NFL playoffs.

The Estefan clan is forever royalty in Dade County.

Florida Man lives here and regularly embarrasses us with his bath-salts-fueled crimes.

Guava makes the perfect pastelito.

Homestead is the best place to find Mexican food.

I-95 is our main north-south artery, and probably where you will die.

Jet Skis are fun, but never trust DJ Khaled on one.

King of Diamonds is America’s only strip club with its own basketball court.

LeBron James still wishes he lived in South Beach, and we all know it.

Miami International Airport usually resembles a scene out of Mad Max.

Noche Buena: Not a good night for the pig you’re roasting.

Ocean Drive is for tourists only. Head to Washington Avenue.

Peacocks that wander Coconut Grove and El Portal are not edible.

Queens run Miami. Just ask Juleisy y Karla.

Sen. Marco Rubio swears he has a spine. He really does.

“Supposably” is not a word, but we use it every day.

Turn signals are about as useful on Miami roads as horse-drawn buggies.

The Underline will soon transform the area beneath Metrorail into an urban green space.

Ventanitas sell coladas, and sometimes cocaine.

Wynwood: A synonym for outdoor murals and gentrification.

X-rated porn is probably being filmed in the empty condo next door.

Yellow lights are even less enforced than marijuana laws.

Zika-carrying mosquitoes won’t kill you. Relax.