And so we come to this. Sitting at 4-5, the Miami Dolphins face a must-win game tonight as take on the equally desperate (and some would say equally craptastic) 4-5 Carolina Panthers. The winner will experience the sweet taste of being a .500 team for the first time this season while embarking on an epic journey of chasing the Wildcard spot in its respective conference (tastes like victory). The loser will experience the not-so-sweet taste of having its season pretty much done (tastes like shit and onions). So lots is riding on tonight's game.
It seems as if pretty much everybody even remotely involved in the showdown is injured. Carolina lost perennial bad-ass linebacker Thomas Davis and All-Pro left tackle Jordan Gross for the year. DeAngelo Williams is listed as questionable with a bum knee. As for the Dolphins, the biggest news heading into tonight is the loss of Ronnie Brown and his amazing feats of awesomeness; he's out with a foot injury. This puts a huge dent in the Dolphins' plans of trying not to suck. And now the running game falls square on Ricky Williams's shoulders. How much will the Fins miss Brown's face-demolishing, ass-kicking ways? We'll find out tonight. The outlook is not great.
Much like the Dolphins, the Panthers have lacked what experts would
call "a good team." They began the season 0-3, All-World receiver
Steve Smith had been replaced by a blow-up doll, and Jake Delhomme has
played less like a Pro Bowler and more like Don Knotts.
Still, the Panthers boast one of the best running-back tandems in the
NFL with Williams and Jonathan Stewart, and have one of the most feared
pass rushers in Julius Peppers. They've also gotten themselves on a
nice roll lately, winning big games against the Cardinals and Falcons
in recent weeks.
As for the game itself, the burden will once again fall on the Fins
defense and its ability to completely shit all over themselves in the
fourth quarter. On the road, against a desperate team, Miami is going
to have to rely heavily on its pass rush. Joey Porter is expected to
play tonight, while Jason Taylor and Cameron Wake should be able to
exploit Gross's absence and drop-kick Delhomme in the throat three times
each. Rookie corner Vontae Davis must deal with Steve Smith and his
sudden recent epiphany that he is, in fact, Steve Smith (two TDs last
week). But it will ultimately come down to Miami stopping the Carolina
ground attack. The Fins have been stout against the run, and if they
can make Delhomme revert to his recent crappy ways and force the
Panther offense to be one-dimensional, they have an excellent shot at winning.
On offense, it's pretty simple. The Panthers rank 25th in the league
against the run, allowing 128.1 yards per game. That should mean only one thing: Ricky Williams needs to rock the pants off the Carolina
defense. And, as it turns out, Ricky is a pretty solid face-demolishing
ass-kicker in his own right. As for the receivers, the request is
simple: Catch the motherlovin' ball.
It's going to be a tough game, to be sure. It wasn't enough for the NFL
schedule makers to have the Dolphins playing back-to-back games at New
York and New England. So they decided to be real dicks and
gave the Fins a short week to travel to Carolina to play on a Thursday
night. Which means two things: (1) The better-prepared team wins this
game, and (2) Unless you have a DVR, you Community and 30 Rock fans are
Prediction: Dolphins 24 - Panthers 21
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.