Internet Has Last Laugh as Would-Be U.S. Attorney General Matt Gaetz Pulls Out

The Florida Man's resignation from the House had dominated news as it ended an ethics investigation into his sexual affairs.

By Naomi Feinstein

November 21, 2024

Image: U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), onstage at the 2024 RNC, wearing a suit, pointing at the crowd with his left index finger as if making a profound point, and sporting a bizarrely unnatural visage that small children and impressionable adults might find disturbing.

Republican U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz's appearance at the Republican National Convention reportedly singed the eyeballs of some social media users. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

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On Thursday, recently retitled ex-U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz announced on the platform formerly known as Twitter that he was withdrawing his name from consideration to serve as President-Elect Donald Trump's U.S. Attorney General:

"I had excellent meetings with Senators yesterday. I appreciate their thoughtful feedback — and the incredible support of so many. While the momentum was strong, it is clear that my confirmation was unfairly becoming a distraction to the critical work of the Trump/Vance Transition. There is no time to waste on a needlessly protracted Washington scuffle, thus I'll be withdrawing my name from consideration to serve as Attorney General. Trump's DOJ must be in place and ready on Day 1.

"I remain fully committed to see that Donald J. Trump is the most successful President in history. I will forever be honored that President Trump nominated me to lead the Department of Justice and I'm certain he will Save America."

Gaetz pulled out a mere eight days after Trump shocked the world by nominating the two-term congressman, who was the subject of a House Ethics Committee investigaion into his alleged involvement in the sex trafficking of a 17-year-old girl.

Soon after Trump's announcement, Gaetz resigned from his House seat — bringing the curtain down prematurely on the ethics committee's probe. The U.S. Department of Justice had previously declined to press charges against Gaetz, who has steadfastly denied all of the allegations.

Notwithstanding a GOP-controlled U.S. Senate, Gaetz seemingly faced an uphill confirmation battle for to join Trump's cabinet, as information steadily trickled out — regarding, among other salacious details, his alleged attendance at drug-fueled sex parties — while the bipartisan House Ethics Committee debated whether to release its investigative report for public consumption.

Now that Gaetz has receded from the stage, the internet is having a field day dunking on the 42-year-old, recently retired lawmaker. [Feel free to insert your own pull-out joke here.]

Independent journalist Aaron Rupar noted that Gaetz didn't even last as long as Anthony Scaramucci, the ex-hedge fund manager who infamously served a ten-day stint as White House communications director for Trump in 2017.

"Gaetz nomination lasted less than a Scaramucci," Rupar quipped on X.

Gaetz nomination lasted less than a Scaramucci
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 21, 2024

Sportswriter Tito Benach compared Gaetz's quest for attorney general to quarterback Aaron Rodgers taking the field in his first game as a New York Jet, only to rupture his Achilles tendon on his fourth snap from scrimmage, knocking him out for the rest of the year.

Matt Gaetz Attorney General Run pic.twitter.com/clVjQTEwCE
— Tito Benach (@TitoBenach) November 21, 2024

Matt Gertz, a senior fellow at Media Matters for America whose name routinely gets mixed up with Gaetz, had his say, as well.

"Ahahahahahahahahsahsahahahahahashhaahahha," Gertz quipped.

ahahahahahahahahsahsahahahahahashhaahahha
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) November 21, 2024

Comedian Mike Drucker went there.

"Matt Gaetz saving face by telling friends he just wanted to spend more time with other people’s kids," Drucker posted.

Matt Gaetz saving face by telling friends he just wanted to spend more time with other people’s kids https://t.co/DqooNHxhFs
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) November 21, 2024

The satirical account LizaMinnelliOutlives stepped up to commemorate the event.

"Liza Minnelli has outlived Matt Gaetz's nomination as Attorney General," @LiZaOutlives posted. "The sexually transmitted disease on legs pulled out in response to the growing furor over his alleged sexual relationship with a minor."

Liza Minnelli has outlived Matt Gaetz's nomination as Attorney General. The sexually transmitted disease on legs pulled out in response to the growing furor over his alleged sexual relationship with a minor. pic.twitter.com/MwMcP5OBbc
— LizaMinnelliOutlives (@LiZaOutlives) November 21, 2024

And Matt Fuller, Capitol Hill bureau chief for the Albritton Institute's NOTUS news site wondered just how "excellent" Gaetz's meetings went with U.S. senators on Wednesday.

"Excellent meetings" https://t.co/1MIumwfXFg
— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) November 21, 2024

Rupar couldn't resist a second shot.

"Matt Gaetz now has more time to focus on raising Nestor," Rupar said, referencing the former representative's "adopted son," Nestor.

Matt Gaetz now has more time to focus on raising Nestor
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 21, 2024

Son or no son, perhaps Gaetz will now have more time to work on perfecting his eyebrows.

Naomi Feinstein is a staff writer of Miami New Times where she primarily focuses on news. Naomi started her career with New Times as a summer intern in 2019, then returned as a fellow in August 2022 before joining the staff full-time in February 2023. She graduated from University of Miami where she contributed to the student-run newspaper, the Miami Hurricane. She holds a master’s degree and graduated with honors from the Columbia School of Journalism. In 2021, Naomi was recognized as the College Journalist of the Year from the Society of Professional Journalists of Florida, and she placed second for Best General News Story in the 2021 Pinnacle Awards.

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