City commissioners love curfews. No issue has pissed off as many of Marc Sarnoff's constituents as his approval of Coconut Grove's 3 a.m. last call. And horrible driver Richard Dunn has recently urged cops to cite teenagers and fine parents who violate the 11 p.m. teen curfew that's been in the books for decades.
Well, now they're coming after your booze too.
The city commission will soon take up a resolution that would bar convenience stores in Overtown, Park West, Omni, and downtown from selling alcohol past midnight. The excuse: "Improving quality of life."
At the March 15 Overtown/Park West Community Redevelopment Meeting, executive director James Villacorta asked the city commission to take up the issue because in Overtown there have been "people milling around at these convenient [sic] stores through the night and causing" problems, such as drinking on the sidewalk and selling guns.
Villacorta said that by limiting alcohol sales at midnight, people will get less drunk and therefore cause fewer problems. "We feel it would be reasonable in the redevelopment area to improve the quality of life and to promote safety and the welfare of the residents of the area." Reverend Lovejoy's wife made a similar argument on The Simpsons once, screaming, "Won't somebody please think of the children!?"
chimed in, saying the commission should also explore extending the
curfew to Omni and downtown, or the Downtown Development Authority. The
Omni CRA, which he chairs, will take up the same resolution Monday. We're
just in stitches to see if it passes.
Dunn, not wanting to be left off
the moral high horse, upped the ante in support of the curfew. "Not
because I'm a reverend, but certainly it has been proven that,
particularly in areas like District 5, in the African-American
communities, the sale of alcohol can sometimes go beyond the
boundaries," he said. Maybe you're just thinking of your own driving record, reverend?
Sarnoff, Dunn, Willy Gort, and Francis Suarez voted to send the
resolution to the city commission. It would still have to be approved
there to become enforceable. The minutes from the CRA March 15 meeting are here. For the lessons of The Simpsons episode on prohibition, buy the DVD.