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There’s been a lot of chatter on the internet about swag
rapper Lil B Based God’s upcoming guest lecture at NYU.
Come April 11, the master chef pretty boy himself will
impart what he told Fuse, “a real progressive talk and when everybody
leaves, their lives will be changed.”
You may be confused by all this. Isn’t he clearly high on at
least three bottles of codeine syrup in every video? True, but here are three
reasons we believe he’s the right, positive role model for America’s youth.
Lil B Is a Published Author
It’s a proven fact stupid people can’t write books, and back
in 2009, the Based God released a motivational text called “Takin’ Over (by Imposing
the Positive).”
It’s full of memoirs and inspirational quotes like “Anger is
old, violence is past tense,” and “The irony of loneliness is that everybody
shares it from time to time.” For someone who looks like Paris Hilton, that’s
fucking deep.
Perhaps he’ll let the NYU crowd in on the secret of his
positive thinking manifesto, and explain how to use myspace and youtube to get
yourself off the mean streets and looking pretty as a rich ho, too.
Lil B Invented the Cooking Dance
Dancing makes everyone happier, and Lil B gave the world a
unique dance craze full of delicious flavor. If these kids weren’t in their
kitchens, filming themselves making tasty meals, they’d probably be doing
something much more dangerous.
You have to start small and work your way through the chef
ranks. Our favorite move is eating, because any time you’re eating, you’re
getting money. Cooking is like a metaphor for life, really. But try to keep a
serious face because it’s not a joke when you’re cooking. You’re trying to make
the best meal.
Lil B Is a Social Activist
In a glitz pop era of senseless braggadocio, Based God is a
true artist who isn’t afraid to shed light on trying social issues. Last year,
he released an emotional track called “I Got Aids,” raising awareness about the
deadly virus and urging fans to get tested.
And everyone knows about the MC’s controversial album titled
“I’m Gay.” The swag master said he was just trying to show support for the LGBT
community, although he’s heterosexual and means it in the antiquated “I’m happy”
sense of the word.
Still, if you’ve ever seen the guy, you may have found
yourself wondering. A lot of rumors are going around that Lil B will announce
his bisexuality at the NYU lecture, and while there isn’t much evidence to
support it, we think it would be the kind of life changing statement the world
needs.
Hip hop is too homophobic, and a bi Based God could change
the game forever. Because that means Solider Boy is probably bi, too.
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