Suge Knight, the notorious, oft-incarcerated former Death Row Records kingpin, has joinedthe long list of rappers getting arrested for totally wimpy, non-gangsta offenses
. His crime and punishment:Driving with a suspended license and 36 months of probation
In 2008 and 2009, Knight was involved in some legit club scuffles. But it seems he had his ass handed to him every time, so that doesn't really help the cause.
Shit, we remember a time when the name Suge Knight would signal thunder and the distant, menacing smell of Swisher Sweets.
Suge Knight, Death Row, Dr. Dre, and The Chronic
Before we get into the truly greatest hits, we should take the time to acknowledge that while Dr. Dre and NWA came up with the prototype for gangsta rap, it was definitively launched by Dre and Suge Knight's Death Row Records, founded in 1991 to release the good doctor's debut, genre-defining LP, The Chronic.
Suge Knight Dangles Vanilla Ice Off A Balcony
The story goes: Knight found himself in a dispute with Vanilla Ice over songwriting royalties, and coerced the pop-rap sensation (see: hung him by his ankles over a balcony) into coughing up some of the dough he made from "Ice, Ice Baby." Ol' Sugie used the dough to found Death Row and the rest is history. In the above video, note that while Vanilla Ice claims the story to be overblown, he also fears for the safety of his family for even talking about this shit in the first place. So, Suge didn't actually dangle you, but he's the kind of guy who would?
Suge Knight vs. Luther Campbell
The Death Row don and 2 Live Crew had a public feud in the wake of Luther Campbell's solo diss track, "Fakin' Like Gangstas," which lampooned the hardcore rap aesthetic. Of course, the Dark Knight of the West Siiide couldn't get down with bikinis, BBQs, and booty-dancing, instead opting to flash a stolen gun on a 1993 trip to Miami. As recently as last year, Uncle Luke was still talking shit!
Suge Knight Starts Bi-Coastal Hip-Hop War
The 1995 Source Awards mark the formal beginning of the East vs. West Coast rap feud that led to the deaths of both sides' biggest stars. We've seen this clip on MTV, VH1, MTV2, VH69420, etc. so many times that we practically know it by heart.
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Suge Knight (and The Illuminati) Assasinate Tupac and Bigge
Other theories include the possibility that Suge Knight is (A) actually Tupac and Biggie in a Suge Knight suit, (B) the son of Rick Ross and Faith Evans from an alternate FuturePast, and (C) not a Freemason but an actual mason, as in an indivudal who works with mortar.