Can you spit faster and farther than any other chump-ass rapper in the 305?
Well, homie, WTF are you waiting for? Write a few rhymes, guzzle some energy drank, and go check out the United States of Amerikkka's baddest battle rap contest, Red Bull Emsee.
The Eminem-approved, invitation-only series has already hit seven -- L.A., Seattle, Philly, Houston, Boston, Washingtion, and Detroit -- of nine planned stops. And next weekend, the Emsee wraps up its nationwide tour in Miami, jumping off with a pre-battle at Shoe Gallery on November 12 before shifting over to 90 Degrees for the main event on November 16.
Now Red Bull's rap roster isn't usually open to any wannabe off the street. But there's one last wild card spot still open for the MIA edition. And all y'all can score a shot at the Emsee's big prize.
To secure that spot, aspiring MCs need only videotape themselves freestyling and submit it to Miami New Times. Just keep it locked to Crossfade as well as New Times' Facebook page and Twitter feed. We'll be dropping instructions in the next couple of days. And we wanna see you spit.
On November 8, we'll select three finalists for the pre-battle. And four days later at Shoe Gallery, the EmSee's eighth and final contestant will be chosen, advancing to the next stage of the competition at 90 Degrees.
That main event, dubbed Verses in the Blink of an Eye: A Freestyle Battle of Sight and Sound, will feature UGK alum, straight gangsta, and official master of ceremonies Bun B -- not to mention a judging panel of game-tested and street-proven MCs including M1 of Dead Prez, Shady Records' Royce Da 5'9", and ¡Mayday!'s Wrekonize.
The winner of this Miami qualifier will advance to the national Red Bull Emsee championship in Atlanta to fight for the title of "Maddest Mike Mangler in the Land," plus the chance to hit the studio with your fave superproducer.
So ... You ready to battle? All you gotta do is follow Eminem's expert advice and "say the sickest, most ridiculous, retarded shit you can think of that makes somebody wanna quit."
Rap is war, homie. And the Emsee is nuclear.
Red Bull EmSee Pre-Battle. Saturday, November 12. Shoe Gallery, 244 NE First Ave., Miami. Ages 18 and up. Visit redbullusa.com/emsee.
Red Bull EmSee Main Event. Wednesday, November 16. 90 Degrees, 90 NE 11th St., Miami. The battle begins at 9 p.m. and admission is free with RSVP to guestcode.com, using code 802. Ages 18 and up. Visit redbullusa.com/emsee.