Ten Things Deadmau5 Hates Most About EDM

Who’s the biggest hater in EDM? Do we even have to dignify that question with an answer? Deadmau5, AKA Joel Zimmerman, can’t go two weeks without making some headline about how he’s angry. Or he’s sad. Or he’s breaking up with his fiancée over Twitter. Or he’s quitting Twitter. Or…

Ten Best Miami Artists to Follow on Instagram

If you follow the right people, your Instagram feed can be more than just another method of procrastination. Artists are often those right people because they know how to express themselves in ways that are visually appealing. This medium is tailor-made for them to play and us to watch. Here’s…

Five Reasons Miami Sushi Sucks

On the outside, it seems like Miami has all the necessary ingredients for fantastic sushi: a seaside location, an international culture, and a love of food. It turns out that’s not enough. We’re seriously lacking in the sushi department. Here are five reasons Miami sushi isn’t up to snuff. See…

Does Tropical Chinese Serve the Best Dim Sum in Miami?

For several decades now, Tropical Chinese Restaurant has been serving its a la carte dim sum menu across the street from Tropical Park on Bird Road. Many Miami foodies swear by the place, insisting that Tropical Chinese serves the “best dim sum” in the county. Whether or not you agree,…

Six New Year’s 2014 Resolutions for Miami’s Club Scene

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let’s have one more moment of silence for the past. Alright! Now, let’s look…

Pop Music’s Winners and Losers of 2013

You win some, you lose some, and this year in music saw it all. There were some unexpected hits and some downright drown-outs. Some old favorites came back around, some tried and true experts continued their reign of glory, and some classic moves fell off the face of the planet…

Pepe Billete’s Open Letter to Elian Gonzalez

Dear Elian, I’m writing to offer you a bit of the wisdom that was passed down to me by my Cuban abuelos, because after reading your comments in the interview you recently gave on the heels of your trip to Ecuador, I think it’s the least I can do for…

New Party Rules for Millennials

Photo by Ian WitlenThe stage is THAT way. Jeez. Millennials, you still do all the drugs and have all the sex, but I have to break it to you — #realtalk — you do not know how to party. And it’s bringing me down. Heading over to what’s supposed to…

Zagat Says Python-Topped Pizza in Ft. Myers Best Represents Florida

Zagat has declared the “Everglades Pizza” at Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza in Ft. Myers as the pizza that best represents the state of Florida. The pie contains somewhat, er, original toppings, such as python, whole frog legs, and alligator sausage. It also costs $45 for a 14-inch pie. You may remember…

EDM Is Sexist: Eight Reasons It Sucks to Be a Woman Who Raves

As a self-respecting female with professional aspirations and a desire to be taken seriously as an individual, it’s become increasingly difficult to identify with American electronic dance music culture without feeling kind of irresponsible. Six or seven years ago, the playing field was pretty even. We went out to parties,…

Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

Calm down, party girl/boy. Before you go flaunting your shiz in the face of the selector, think about what you’re really getting yourself into. Sure, dating (or even just fucking) a DJ seems like it would be a perk-filled romp through Awesomeville’s romance district. Your new beau will not only…

Ten Worst Raver Cliches

We used to go to raves to break out of the ordinary, to lose ourselves in a dark room, rubbing against sweaty bodies. To meet strangers from strange lands, each character more colorful and absurd than the last. We’re not sure if it’s just that we’ve been doing it for…

Eminem Isn’t a Sellout: In Defense of Marshall Mathers

Marshall Mathers deserves your respect. He was dealt a real shitty deck in life. His father left him as a baby. His mother mentally abused him. He grew up poor as shit in the bad really bad part of Detroit. And still, he overcame it all to stake a claim…

Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Rapper

Ever since dance music decided to overdose on molly, the only thing respectable alternative for pop music lovers is hip-hop. With that said, we’re sorry, hip-hop, but we have to start holding you to a higher standard. You don’t want to end up like EDM, do you? Trust us, you…

Ten Miami Girls You’ve Probably Dated

The ladies of Miami-Dade do a lot of complaining about their dating prospects. But guys, you have it rough too. You have given your best effort at speed dating. You have hit up every wine bar in a 30-mile radius. There is a good chance you read “Ten Miami Guys…

Five Worst EDM TV Commercials

Right now, EDM is the cheesiest, most sellout-prone music on the planet. It’s a hot-ticket item, and regardless of what the culture might think it signifies or stands for, it’s really all about the Benjamins. C.R.E.A.M., PLUR … Same shit, right? So unfortunately, we’re now becoming accustomed to hearing all…