EDM’s Five Biggest Hacks

What makes someone a hack? A hack purports to be something he’s not. It’s a person who holds himself above others on false grounds. The entertainment industry is full of them, and tons of people get into the music industry for the wrong reasons. We can’t help ourselves from feeling…

Stay, LeBron: An Open Letter to King James

Dear LeBron, When I first read the news that you’d be opting out of your Miami Heat contract, I have to admit, I was more than a little upset. I imagine many Miamians had the same reaction, from the guy down the block with a picture of your face and…

Ten Worst Celebrity Rappers

It’s usually weird when actors spit rhymes, but it’s even weirder when you find out the sparkly vampire hunk from Twilight wants to be a rapper named “Big Tub.” That’s the truth Robert Pattinson revealed on the couch with Seth Meyers on Late Night. The poor kid was self-conscious about…

Ten Softest Rappers in the Game

The mainstream rap game is servin’ up so many soft rappers, we should stop calling them MCs and start calling them TCBYs. Have you listened to the hip-hop charts lately? It’s like a damn 16-year-old girl’s mix tape in this mess. Someone must have let the dogs out, because all…

Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Drummer

Drummers are a completely different breed of humanoid. We here at Crossfade believe that a solid drummer is the key ingredient to any good band — the very catalyst that emulsifies the piss and vinegar of rock ‘n roll into something tangible — and we love you for this reason…

Five Worst EDM Gimmicks

Remember when you used to spend all day playing arcade fighting games against your friends, and you had that one buddy who just kept pressing the same attack button, over and over, leaving you no time to gather your thoughts and use your actual skills? That shit was cheap as…

Eight Signs You’re Not VIP

Everyone wants to feel special and loved, but not everyone is a Very Important Person. Of course, if VIP is really about anything at all, it’s money and status and exclusivity. A person cannot be “very important” unless there are “less important” people at which to snicker and point from…

Six Worst Pop Star Siblings to Ever Suck

Some people become famous because they are incredible talents discovered at a young age. Others become famous because their parents treat the womb like a star factory. Hey, if you push enough kids into the spotlight, one of them is gonna have a hit. But when one kid becomes a…

Miley Cyrus Covers The Smiths: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Miley Cyrus and Morrissey are basically the same person. One is a lyrical genius shrouded in sexual mystery who speaks on behalf of intellectualism, animal rights, and sordid youths, defying borders and generations. The other is famous for a butt that resembles uncooked turkeys, being naked, and sticking her tongue…

Rap and R&B’s Worst ’90s Ripoffs

The ’90s are back! The fashions, the music, the attitude. There are more people Rollerblading by the beach than we’ve seen in about 25 years. (Wow, it’s been too long!) Now, we couldn’t be more excited about the return of the most bleakly apathetic decade in pop culture. But along…

The Ten Guys You Meet on Tinder

Match is for desperados, eHarmony for old fogies, and Christian Mingle for closeted freaks, leading us cyber whores to the next best thing – Tinder. Meant to serve as an on-the-go service for both social and non-social single specimen, this dating app triggers and targets local hotties (and sometimes the…

Venezuelans and Cubans Need to Stand Together

I’ve always hated the use of the word Latino in American mass media, because it’s a blanket term that describes a myriad of different cultures. It promotes generalities and dilutes many different cultures into one big stereotype, in the minds of non-Latinos and to me. There is nothing I am…

Ten Things Deadmau5 Hates Most About EDM

Who’s the biggest hater in EDM? Do we even have to dignify that question with an answer? Deadmau5, AKA Joel Zimmerman, can’t go two weeks without making some headline about how he’s angry. Or he’s sad. Or he’s breaking up with his fiancée over Twitter. Or he’s quitting Twitter. Or…

Ten Best Miami Artists to Follow on Instagram

If you follow the right people, your Instagram feed can be more than just another method of procrastination. Artists are often those right people because they know how to express themselves in ways that are visually appealing. This medium is tailor-made for them to play and us to watch. Here’s…

Five Reasons Miami Sushi Sucks

On the outside, it seems like Miami has all the necessary ingredients for fantastic sushi: a seaside location, an international culture, and a love of food. It turns out that’s not enough. We’re seriously lacking in the sushi department. Here are five reasons Miami sushi isn’t up to snuff. See…

Does Tropical Chinese Serve the Best Dim Sum in Miami?

For several decades now, Tropical Chinese Restaurant has been serving its a la carte dim sum menu across the street from Tropical Park on Bird Road. Many Miami foodies swear by the place, insisting that Tropical Chinese serves the “best dim sum” in the county. Whether or not you agree,…

Six New Year’s 2014 Resolutions for Miami’s Club Scene

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let’s have one more moment of silence for the past. Alright! Now, let’s look…