You’ve tried online dating. You’ve gotten fixed up by friends. You’ve gone home with someone on a whim. Somehow, you’re still single. Is it you? Is it them? How should you know? You’re just a stranger out there in internetland. But we do know plenty of men in this city…
Well, it has finally happened. The Miami Marlins are now officially one step away from hosting tractor pulls in the outfield during the home at-bats and two steps from converting the upper deck into a poorly rated youth hostel. This Saturday, Marlins Park — the stadium that stares blankly across…
Had he lived to see a court date, Israel “Reefa” Hernandez-Llach could have argued that his tagging of a derelict Miami Beach building at 71st Street and Collins Avenue was neither mischievous, malicious, destructive, nor damaging. He could have insisted he wasn’t a vandal at all. Instead, he died after…
Yesterday’s New York Post review of upcoming SyFy reality show, Heroes of Cosplay, angered quite a few of us in the geek community. The article portrays the cosplay community as “confused” and “weird,” all while looking down its nose at those who might enjoy the creative pursuit. Yes, cosplay is…
Hip-hop has hit a new low. It’s nothing but a flashy circus full of liars, cheats, and corporate scum. They all want to talk big shit about coming from the streets or representing the hood, but too many have never seen an actual corner in their lives. Not only are…
They say hate is just twisted appreciation, and if that’s the case, Tiësto must be the biggest Daft Punk fan on the planet. He just has a funny way of showing it. He recently went on a huge dig-fest, calling the robots an overhyped waste of studio space, talking smack…
These days, you can probably spit and hit a DJ. But that doesn’t mean DJing is easy. Sure, technology has given every 12-year-old and drunk frat doucher the ability to sync. But mindlessly pushing buttons on digital decks isn’t any kind of indication you’re actually any good. We know it’s…
Yo, bro! The Heat won! We are them big two-timers, and you know our boys are going to keep their strong up and come back for another title in 2014. How could it be any other way? But would you believe it? There are still a bunch of haters out…
By now our lovely regular readers are familiar with Voice Places, the listings engine behind all of Miami New Times’ restaurant reviews and calendar picks. Today that engine got a lot more powerful, with a new design that brings even more content to the fore. Among the changes: Cleaner design…
Over the past several years, frightening statistics have been released revealing that minimum wage earners working 40 hours per week cannot afford to live above poverty level — meaning they cannot afford rent on their own, their food budget is negligible, and of course, cable and WiFi are out of…
Miami Heat, tonight you face the greatest and most ominous opponent you have ever encountered in your life. No challenge you’ve met has ever been more difficult. No enemy has ever been more powerful and no accomplishment, accolade, award, or title you’ve earned has ever been more important in achieving…
Dear PETA, I’m writing on behalf of everyone in the world who is fortunate enough to have a sense of humor. Last night I came across your letter to Dr. Len Lucero of Clermont, Florida — an angel of a man — one who took in a disabled pig and…
What started out as a fun evening with friends took a tragic turn when the waterfront deck at Shuckers Bar & Grill in North Bay Village collapsed during the Miami Heat game, sending about 100 people tumbling into the water. As cheers for the home team turned into screams, restaurant…
A month ago Miami’s first ice cream bicycle debuted at Critical Mass. Well in case you missed it,, tonight’s your second chance to witness history. Michael’s Genuine line cook Aleric “A.J” Constanin will meet cyclist and restaurant friends at the Government Center pre-bike ride to show off his pimped ride,…
I love Wynwood, I really do. And I also love stickers; I’ve been collecting stickers since I was a kid and pride myself on having a pretty dope assortment. But something has been really bothering me about the sticker culture in Wynwood. They’re everywhere. I mean, everywhere. You can’t go…
Paris Hilton must really love abuse, because she just signed a record deal with Cash Money to release her follow-up to 2006’s weird and critically-forgotten Paris. She plans to release a “house album.” And, like, nothing about a fluffy hip-hop label signing a talentless heiress to make EDM music sounds…
So, you want to be an EDM superstar? It’s easy! EDM is blowing up like a 17-year-old girl in a tutu. Act fast, and you can catch some of that glorious LED spotlight for yourself! Not interested in long hours studying music theory, beat matching, or production equipment? Fuck it!…
People became angry in Tampa recently when it was announced that the city’s Taco Fusion was serving lion meat. They also serve gazelle, kangaroo, ostrich, beaver, otter, and other animals, but it was the king of the jungle that awakened the public’s ire. In the face of much criticism, the…
Alright, ravers. Last time we here at Crossfade ran through our list of the five most annoying buzzwords, reactions were mixed. Some of you thought we were the most evil, hate-mongering, misinformed monsters to ever walk the Earth. Others gave us so many virtual high-fives that our e-hand is still…
As The Dissident, J.J. Colagrande turns his critical eye on Miami culture. This week: O, Miami is crazy expensive, bro. Listen, I love poetry. Contrary to popular belief, especially here in Miami, poetry is important. Poetry reflects the condition of being human. Underneath the turning leaf of truth lies poetry…
Ready for a shocker? American taxpayers subsidize the purchase of approximately $4 billion worth of soda products annually through SNAP, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, also known as food stamps. Federal, state, and local governments have all tried to prohibit the purchase of sodas and other “junk food” items with…
Let’s face it, hip-hop is pretty stupid. Not, like, inherently. Because it used to be about self-reflection, empowerment, and fun. Now, though, the mainstream rap community’s message can be boiled down to a handful of misguided concepts, spewed and propagated by lying hacks. There’s almost nothing enlightening about radio-friendly rap…
