There’s nothing creepier than watching a nearly naked full-grown adult (male or female) fiendishly suck on a little rubber nipple while writhing and humping to hardcore techno. That’s called acting like a horny baby. And it’s wrong in a million different ways. By some miracle, though, Crossfade found Leah, a…
SLRs are the new iPods. And whether you have press credentials or not, a detachable lens is the hottest accessory at Ultra Music Festival. Want to meet girls? Buy a camera. Want to sneak past security and into the photo pit? Buy a camera. Want to sweat your ass off…
We all know the human body consists of 60- to 70-percent water. And that’s why your friendly family doctor suggests that every human being should suck back several liters of liquid per day. Neglecting your body’s need for pure, precious H2O will result in constipation, chapped lips, cold hands, lack…
One of the quintessential Ultra Music Festival experiences that rarely gets any press is the average attendee’s trip to the port-a-potty. Well, I was waiting in line last night at 10:14 p.m. trying not to piss my pants and thought, “Somebody’s gotta document it. Why not me?” But whipping out…
Sure, Ultra Music Festival’s a good time. But if you aren’t careful, it can get the better of you. Greater men (and ladies) than you have fallen waste to the onslaught of this three day electro extravaganza. So there’s a decent chance that you might have, in the midst of…
OMFG, the Ultra Music Festival grounds are littered with glowsticks. There are red ones, blue ones, green ones, bright ones, dull ones, dead ones, smashed ones, fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, long ones, and some you don’t even want to touch for fear of dibutyl phthalate contamination and STDs…
Holy crap, how could we forget? The non-relevant ’80s band! Of course, this particular Ultra Bingo square was explicitly concocted in honor of Duran Duran. Just look closely and you’ll see that the illustration is actually the cover of 1983’s multi-platinum Rio. But when we were at Ultra Music Festival…
Late last night, just as midnight hit and the Ultra Music Festival’s Main Stage MC was breaking up the party, we saw an enormous creature pop out of a hole in the ground. We were like, “WTF?” And then we took a closer look … It was actually a human…
Yo, beat freaks! It’s time again to break out your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards. Only 12 hours ago, we here at Crossfade filled our very first square by spotting a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into the back of his head at Juicy Beach. And already we’re…
Got your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards ready? Because we’ve already found our first visual item. It didn’t take long to find a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into his head, and where else would he be hanging out but Nikki Beach.Check out the photographic evidence after the…
I passed by one of the new South Beach rental bicycle racks just after the bikes were installed last week. A few years back my wife and I took advantage of the same system in Paris, and I have a photo of the bicycles lined up on a street in…
“This story begins earlier this year, just as the very first crocuses peeped from the frosted ground. One cold bright morning, George Ball, the proprietor of W. Atlee Burpee, the gardening company, discovered a curious looking green envelope in his mailbox. He noticed the pages gave off a distinct bouquet:…
What’s a crack reporter over at the Miami Herald to do when the newswire stops spitting out 700 words’ worth of cheap and easy automatic copy every couple of minutes? Read and regurgitate a tabloid rag called New Times, obviously. If, like us, you buy the Herald’s bloated Sunday edition…
Flipper is dead. Actually, the six dolphins who played him are. But that hasn’t stopped Miami Seaquarium from planning the Flipper’s Truck Stop food truck rally for this Sunday, March 27. A dozen trucks are scheduled to be there, including seafood-centric Fish Box and Jefe’s Original Fish Taco and Burger.You…
Ultra is only four days away. But the parties start tonight. And with dance music and rave culture letting its freak flag fly the entire week, we’ve decide to honor it with a fun game of Bingo! Well, with a slight Miami Music Week/Ultra Music Festival twist.Instead of numbers, the…
Go ahead and call us degenerate gamblers. But we here at Crossfade are hardly alone in the belief that life is infinitely less boring when you’re betting on it. Whether the action is competitive vodka-guzzling, the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, or the arrival patterns of Miami-Dade County public transportation,…
When I was a student at New York University, my boyfriend and I used to eat cheap Mexican food practically every day. At Panchito’s on MacDougal Street, you could get a giant platter of nachos and guacamole for about $6. Plus the place served alcohol to minors without batting an…
Six million of you have already endured it. Gawker asked if it was “the worst music video ever.” Meanwhile, foreign press like The Sydney Morning Herald wonders why it has overtaken the Japanese earthquake and tsunami devastation on Twitter.Of course, we’re talking about the gone-viral-for-all-the-wrong-reasons video of unknown Rebecca Black’s…
If you’ve paid any attention to television, radio, internet, or even smoke signals rising from a faraway tribe, you’ve no doubt heard a little bit about Charlie Sheen in the news lately. But let us go on record right here and now as saying that the man is, in our…
There’s this shared fantasy among neo-hippies, blissed-out druggies, and naïve first-time festival-goers that three-day music extravaganzas like Ultra Music Festival are all about fun and friendship. But here’s the real deal: The music festival experience is an arduous and often dangerous 72-hour trip into a deep, dance-y heart of darkness…
On a recent late-night run to a local Farm Stores (the drive-thru convenience store with the cow on the sign), a nifty flyer with a $20 coupon was dropped in the bag. That discount is good for online grocery shopping. Curiosity was piqued.So what are the advantages of Internet shopping…
There’s furious internet chatter about McDonald’s McLobster sandwich, the elusive menu item that, like the McRib, is available to only a few select lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at things) markets. The McLobster is McDonald’s version of the New England lobster roll, which usually means generous portions…
