Opinion & Commentary

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke ranks the most beautiful women on local television news. If you go to Dallas, Atlanta, New York, or…

During its four years of bringing musical talent and drunken debauchery to the Magic City, Bardot has attracted some of the best indie, hip-hop, and electronic artists to its floor-level carpet stage. While the club has hosted national acts, including Florence Welch, Mayer Hawthorne, and Starfucker, it’s the local artists…

Oscar Hijuelos was decidedly not Cuban. And he was certainly not a Miamian. Yet the 62-year-old author, who died Saturday in Manhattan, cast perhaps a longer literary shadow over the Magic City than any other 20th Century man of letters, His Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Mambo Kings Play Songs…

Killed Over a Jet Ski Property over life: I’m writing to you in response to your article about Reynaldo Muñoz, who was shot and killed while stealing a WaveRunner (“Dead in the Water,” Michael E. Miller, October 3) and who you claim was denied justice by a bad detective and…

With absentee ballots in the mail and early voting beginning in two weeks for the City of Miami’s November elections, it’s important that residents in District 5, which includes Overtown, Brownsville, Little Haiti, and Liberty City, cast their ballots for Keon Hardemon. Last year, the 29-year-old attorney put his name…

Major confession. My absolute favorite writer is Stephen King. Not F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not James Joyce. Not even Ernest Hemingway. Ever since my guitar teacher placed The Shining in my hands when I was about 12, I have been obsessed with the author. And I know exactly why. Unlike other…

Say what you wanna say, but truth is Miami loves karaoke. Those who have yet to unleash their inner rock star know that the thought of stealing the spotlight in front of a group of drunken strangers has crossed their mind at one point or another. And those who’ve had…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke endorses the man who will be Miami’s next District 5 commissioner. With absentee ballots being mailed and early…

It’s noon on a weekday. You’re running late. Alton Road traffic has sparked you to make wild, violent hand gestures. Suddenly, in the distance, you espy solar panels, pumpkins, and a Prius. It’s the smallest freaking Whole Foods in the entire world! (AKA the South Beach store.) You go inside…

In all fairness, Miami-Dade firefighter Osvaldo Alvarez did a pretty good job impersonating a local police officer, right down to the being-a-bit-corrupt details, but it wasn’t good enough to get away from actual local cops. Alvarez, 52, was booked yesterday for impersonating an officer, burglary and battery…

“We the Miami Heat of hip-hop.” Now, obviously, when Rick Ross uttered that boast, it was meant as more than just a Bawse-ly metaphor. Because big homie and his buddy DJ Khaled got such skills from the stripe, they recently won $120,000 in a free-throw contest. See also: Rick Ross…

Baseball fans across the country should be dancing in the streets. Major League Baseball’s head honcho, Bud Selig, will finally retire. Last week, Selig announced he’s calling it quits after 22 years of driving America’s pastime into the ground. He leaves behind a tarnished legacy. Under the 79-year-old Milwaukee-born commissioner’s…

Poison in the Parks Deadly oversight: Your report on former toxic ash sites around Miami (“Toxic Tales,” David Villano, September 26) makes it clear the city has ignored this problem for years. There are consequences: My neighbor in the Grove died of pancreatic cancer. She was a teacher at Carver…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke exposes the biggest fail in Major League Baseball. Baseball fans across the country should be dancing in the…

For the past decade and a half, a cluster of A-list celebrities, including Lady Gaga, Gloria Estefan, LMFAO, and other stars of the ilk, super models, and all ’round glamorous people have walked past the velvet ropes and black doors of Score. While the hot spot will be throwing its…

Welcome to The Weeknd’s Kiss Land. It is a glitteringly cold, irreversibly twisted, bleakly sexy netherworld where we’re “all faded off the wrong thing” and we “gotta pay with [our bodies].” You know, a lot like Miami. There is a “room where the kisses ain’t free.” (But the Adderall cocktails…

Have you tried miracle fruit? The small red berry, native to West Africa, contains a protein called miraculin, which binds with our taste buds and, when introduced to acids, makes sour taste sweet. Called “LSD for your mouth,” the fruit creates a result that’s supposed to be strange. There’s a…

Michael Gongora is a Miami Beach commissioner running for mayor. On his campaign website, the commish touts his corruption-fighting credentials, boldly proclaiming he engineered the dismissal of shady city employees who violated the public’s trust. “Now, thanks to my leadership,” Gongora boasts on his website, “City Hall is more transparent.”…

After two turbulent seasons as head coach of the University of Miami football program, Al Golden is taking the U back to national prominence this year. The defense’s dominating performance against the University of Florida earlier this month proves Goldie is on the right track. In fact, the Canes will…

Tattoo Wait Debate Or is it weight?: In regard to Allie Conti’s September 19 story, “Ink Stink,” maybe we should do this with restaurants also. I feel hungry, but damn I have to wait 24 hours because by eating now, I could be making a mistake because My Fitness Pal…