In what might be another sign of the coming apocalypse, wait times for early voting stretched into an appalling four, six, even eight hours this past weekend. Blood sugar dropped. Sunburn reigned supreme. Adults and kids alike could be seen doing the potty dance. (Even dudes on a chain gang…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the election debacle in Florida.On the last Saturday of early voting, my wife and I stood in…
Biscayne Park seemed like the perfect place for Maria Elena Molina to raise her son. Tucked between North Miami and Miami Shores, the Village of Biscayne Park is a 3,500-person community of rustic single-family homes, an Episcopal church, a recreation center, and a 1934 log cabin that’s home to the…
As the 2012 presidential election in Miami-Dade County spirals into calamity, alcalde fuerte Carlos Gimenez is doing nothing to stop another embarrassing, national indictment of our Banana Republic’s voting system. Despite long lines of voters who waited two-to-six hours to cast their ballots during the eight days of early voting,…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
As the fifth day of early voting gets underway, the Florida Division of Elections says Democrats have opened a significant lead over Republicans in total ballots cast, by a 48,600 margin. Overall, Democrats have 118,000 more early votes than the GOP. With the Nov. 6 election five days away, 30…
Donna Shalala Must Ease Up on UM Football
2012 Presidential Election Isn’t About Race
Yesterday, while Julio Rodriguez waited in line to cast his ballot at the John F. Kennedy library, the Hialeah voter noticed his city’s mayor stumping for Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. No big deal right? Wrong.Carlos Hernandez was ignoring a local election law that prohibits people from campaigning within 100…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sorry state of Hurricanes football.It is University of Miami Coach Al Golden’s second year on…
When you head to the polls this week to cast a vote for the prez or to throw your weight behind Mittens, you might be surprised to find one of the longest ballots ever created. You’d never know it from the nightly news, but it turns out you’ll have to…
Now it’s our turn. The Sun-Sentinel this morning endorsed Mitt Romney. Then the Miami Herald threw its support to Barack Obama.We don’t endorse candidates. We are just a motley crew of renegades who like to throw darts at pictures of Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Britney Spears.But we believe Mitt…
If the South is the Bible Belt, Florida is the Bizarre Belt. With entire blogs and news sites devoted to the oddities that often occur in our little piece of paradise — few would argue that we reign supreme as far as freakishness. And this weirdness, of course, also applies…
While we’re still anxiously awaiting Rakontur’s Dawg Fight documentary about backyard brawling in Miami-Dade, the P.T. Barnum/Spartan of Perrine Dhafir Harris, AKA Dada 5000, is gearing up for his last big event this Saturday. “I’m calling it Red October,” Harris says. “There is going to be a lot of red…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Wayne Slaton may not unseat Michael Pizzi to win a second go-around as Miami Lakes mayor, but he sure is having some fun skewering his foe. Two weeks ago, Slaton uploaded a short campaign video listing the top 10 reasons why he is the better candidate. “It is the most…
The clock is running down on the big presidential election. If you’re one of the undecideds, you’ve got about two weeks to make up your mind who you want to see as leader of the free world for the next our years (no pressure).If, however, you know which candidate you’re…
Luke’s Gospel: Miami Blacks Key to Obama’s Re-Election
Reader Mail: Factories Are Poisoning Miami Neighborhoods
Jessica Simpson has really been put through the pop culture wringer. She built a career around her supposed-to-be fairy tale marriage to 98 Degrees crooner Nick Lachey. And then they got divorced. Ever since, Jessica hasn’t been able to escape the merciless crosshairs of every tabloid Gollum with a lust…
To anyone with common sense, a town manager getting into business with his boss — the mayor — would seem like a stupid idea. But Golden Beach Mayor Glenn Singer and his subordinate, Town Manager Alexander Diaz, swore to investigators from the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission that they were completely unaware their…
Justin Bieber is going on an insane spending spree, buying drugs, abortions, and penis enlargers with an American Express card that he jacked from his girlfriend’s dad. Now he’s being taken to court by the poor victim. But, uh, the “victim” is just a totally insane dude from Michigan. Thankfully…
