Living in South Beach is like getting gonorrhea: it’s all fun and easy until suddenly everything comes to a painful stop. Lately, SoBe residents have woken up to find a foot of foul-smelling water inside their cars. When they bail out their rides, they still face insane traffic jams to…
Coral Gables is a city that prides itself in looking classy and keeping its aesthetics pleasing to the eye. The City Beautiful, after all, spent a quarter of a million tax dollars and fought all the way to the Florida Supreme Court in 2003 to keep its prohibition on trucks…
There’s a lot of talk about racial divides in this country. But there’s one thing that Americans of all colors, creeds, ethnicities, and walks of life can agree on: Riff Raff is a fucking embarrassment. Have you seen this confused individual? He’s supposed to be a joke (we think), but…
Cubano Crime Marielito mayhem: Your story argues that a recent gold heist shows how Cuban gangs are still running Miami (“Golden Heist,” Francisco Alvarado, July 11), but that does not mean Cubans are unique in dominating crime in Dade County. Some ethnically identifiable group always predominates in a city, for…
George Zimmerman’s acquittal for murdering Miami Gardens teen Trayvon Martin has everything to do with race. That’s why I’m offended by white people criticizing African-Americans for making the boy’s death about the racial divide that still exists in America. I was especially appalled when Zimmerman’s lawyer, Mark O’Mara, had the…
On his recent hit “Open Letter,” Jay-Z raps: “Politicians never did shit for me, except lie to me, distort history.” He can’t ever say that again, unless he tacks on a line about “and review my new album Magna Carta Holy Grail via Twitter at 40,000 feet on the way…
As much as we all love to hate corporate America (hell, we’re an alt-weekly, it’s kind of our shtick) — it has one big asset: convenience. After all, with 60-hour work weeks, bicycle bar crawls and that pesky need for sleep, ain’t nobody got time for consumer responsibility. And there’s…
In early May, Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Gimenez and the County Commission delayed the certification of 11 affordable-housing developers because one of the firms, Carlisle Development Group, is under investigation by a federal grand jury. Citing a Miami Herald report, Gimenez’s administration put on the brakes because the feds suspect…
George Zimmerman’s acquittal for murdering Miami Gardens teen Trayvon Martin has everything to do with race. That’s why I’m offended by white people criticizing African-Americans for making the boy’s death about the racial divide that still exists in America. I was especially appalled when Zimmerman’s lawyer, Mark O’Mara, had the…
Come the second Saturday of every month, European tourists with Nikons hanging around their necks, local hipsters, art aficionados, booze seekers scouting free drinks, and just about everyone else flocks to Wynwood for Art Walk. And while the true purpose of this monthly event is allowing galleries to enjoy a…
Embattled South Miami Police Chief Orlando Martinez De Castro is facing new accusations that he abused his power to conduct illegal criminal background checks on his perceived enemies. Last week, De Castro pleaded no contest to Miami-Dade ethics charges that he steered police department business to his wife’s auto tag…
John DuBois is one freaked-out Palmetto Bay Village vice-mayor. In an odd twist to the millionaire security systems entrepreneur’s ongoing legal war with the Miami-Dade County Department of Environmental Resources & Management, Dubois thought he was being spied on by unknown individuals in a helicopter and a boat on the…
Reader Mail: Don’t Blame Obama for Failed Inner-City Schools
Jay-Z’s Magna Carta… Holy Grail Is an Education
Juan Kuryla must be the happiest man working for Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Gimenez, who recently announced he wants property owners to swallow a 5 percent tax rate hike to balance his proposed budget. On April 29, Mayor Carlos Gimenez promoted Kuryla from deputy seaport director to the head honcho…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke is loving HOV’s new album. With the release of his latest opus, Magna Carta… Holy Grail, Jay-Z has…
Athletic rugby jocks, mid-aged men wearing cowboy hats, and ladies dressed in patriotic red, white, and blue costumes crowded a rectangular inflatable kiddie pool filled with bright red Jello by the back stage of Churchill’s Pub. Before the ladies of the Fort Miami Women’s Rugby League made their entrance and…
If I ever own a restaurant, it would be a lot like Pizzeria Oceano. Located in a sleepy beach town in Palm Beach County called Lantana, the teeny restaurant only accepts cash. The menu changes daily. The dining room? It’s a wooden deck lined with benches and potted herbs, all…
Word to the wise aspiring politicians: If you omit financial information when disclosing your personal net worth to voters, you will get caught. Just ask Mark Weithorn, who ran a failed campaign for state legislative seat representing Miami Beach last year. At its regular meeting in June, the Florida Commission…
While Miami-Dade residents are gearing up to celebrate American Independence, the Christian Family Coalition is making sure one group of people don’t get to enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In response to a proposed amendment to the county’s human rights ordinance that would protect transgender folks from…
I hope President Barack Obama is tuning in to the George Zimmerman murder trial. It is showing off his greatest failure. Last week, media pundits, trial commentators, and internet racists ridiculed Rachel Jeantel, the 19-year-old star witness who was on the phone with Trayvon Martin right before Zimmerman shot the…
Dangerous Sugar Respect yourselves: Your piece about college women looking online for wealthy men (“Sugar Babies,” Michael E. Miller, June 27) makes it clear that Miami is reaching a new level of grime. This is prostitution. Instead of using these men and selling their bodies, there are other options these…
