Homestead Mayor Steven Bateman’s Top Shadiest Moments

Boy, Steven Bateman doesn’t know when to quit. Today, the Miami Herald published an article about another suspicious deal involving the Homestead mayor that appears riddled with conflicts-of-interest. It’s becoming a pattern that has spawned separate investigations by the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office and the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission into Bateman’s…

Favorite ’80s Freestyle Songs, According to Miami Music Junkies

A crew of New Yorkers decked out in black baseball caps, black-and-neon muscles tees, and old-school Nike kicks, hard-core players slapping ping-pong balls, and hitting up nines on pool tables, ladies getting rowdy on a stripper pole, and guys showing off their hip-hop skills to a remix of Daft Punk…

Trayvon Jury Is Stacked

The injustice that began with the murder of Miami Gardens teenager Trayvon Martin continues. As the trial of George Zimmerman, the man who shot the 17-year-old boy last year, gets underway in Sanford, I find it appalling that Seminole County Circuit Judge Debra Nelson did not allow a single African-American…

Reader Mail: Blame Bud Selig for MLB’s Steroid Mess

Steroid City Blame Bud: Instead of persecuting Porter Fischer, the source who provided documents from Coral Gables clinic Biogenesis that indicate it was selling performance-enhancing drugs to ballplayers (“Source Code,” Tim ­Elfrink, June 20), how about going after the real crook here, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig? His whole…

Blogger Mike Hatami Helps Take Down Ghost Boat Racket

Ah, there is nothing quite like a scam perpetrated in Miami. Just about any racket can thrive in this sunny place for shady people. All it takes is a little moxie and a whole lot of deviousness. The latest example involves four locals who suckered 11 banks and two credit…

Rick Ross Thinks “Africa” Is a “Country”

Big homie is the Bawse. Except when it comes to geography. Yesterday, Rick Ross boarded a jet plane with his manager Gucci Pucci, bound for the land where mankind was born. And upon arrival, the pair “discuss[ed] how far we’ve come,obstacles,victories and new $ to get as the sun rise…

Bring Back Paula Deen: Read the Deposition Transcript

Paula Deen’s Food Network career imploded last Friday after the cable network said it would not renew her contract. Though Food Network’s simple statement, “Food Network will not renew Paula Deen’s contract when it expires at the end of this month,” did not mention a reason, it comes after a…

Hottest Miami Heat Players, According to the Ladies

There’s something inexplicably sexy about sweaty men, especially the men of the Miami Heat. Just look at the way they run across the basketball court at the AAA with perspiration slowly dripping down their chiseled biceps, how aggressively they fight for the ball, and how smoothly they score. Maybe it’s…

Overhaul DCF to Save Kids

It’s time to abolish or overhaul the Florida Department of Children and Families, the worst government agency in the history of the state. Unless Gov. Rick Scott takes drastic action, more kids will end up dead because of DCF’s incompetence. The latest tragedy involves 4-year-old Antwan Hope, who was found…

Reader Mail: Bring On a Black Boycott of Miami Beach

Best of Miami Great choice: Thank you for noticing what I have known since I met Lissette Gonzalez (“Best of Miami: Best Meteorologist,” June 13) when she was selected as Miss Carnaval Miami in 1997. I’ve had the privilege of working with Lissette at CBS4 since 2007 and have witnessed…

Lock & Load: Machine Gun Experience Set to Open in Wynwood

Miami, are you ready to get your Tony Montana game face on? Or perhaps you’re feeling like James Cagney in The Public Enemy. Whichever fictional gangster you prefer, Lock & Load: Machine Gun Experience has the arsenal to satisfy your firearm fetish. Amid the art galleries of Wynwood, a 14,000-square-foot…

Heat Wins in OT, Forces Game 7

Yup. LeBron James and Ray Allen got it done. Now it’s on to Thursday. Chris Bosh also looked pretty damn awesome. Rebounds, blocks. Heat hasn’t won two consecutive games in a dog’s age. About time. Go Heat!…

Abused Kids Will Never Be Safe Until DCF Is Fixed

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke speaks up for neglected, abused children. It’s time to abolish or overhaul the Florida Department of Children…

Rick Scott Signs Pipe Ban That Doesn’t Really Ban Pipes

Bro!!!!!! Did you hear bro?!?!? Gov. Rick Scott is such a buzz kill bro!!! He just signed a law that makes it illegal for smoke shops to sell just about every pipe bro!!! Glass, wooden, acrylic, stone, metal, with or without screens, with carubretion!!! We’re gonna have to stock up…