To file under “Shit We Would Not Have Wagered A Single Nickel On One Week Ago”: In offices cluttered with Xs-and-Os and in pungent locker-rooms across America, the nation’s great offensive minds have been up late all week feverishly studying the latest mad geniuses of the National Football League. The…
via Look Liker Look Liker, a very important website that exists solely to provide the valuable service of pointing out that from certain angles various persons of note somewhat resemble each other, brought us the news yesterday that Dolphins QB Chad Pennington sorta, kinda looks like reigning geek hero of…
The Miami Dolphins shocked the world Sunday, defeating the mighty New England Patriots in Foxboro 38-13. Ronnie Brown accounted for all five touchdowns, leading the previously hapless Fins in their Ike Turner-esque bitch slap of the Patriots in New England. The victory ended the Pats’ 21-regular season game winning streak…
Surveying the bleak desert that is football in this town each week is depressing, but Riptide took its Prozac. Outside of some sort of miracle, the Canes may be the only bright spot. Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots (Sunday, 1 pm on CBS4) The National Football League is for…
Miami sports fans can be forgiven if they’ve already pulled out the brown paper bags, covered their heads and collapsed trembling into the fetal position for the rest of the month. The Marlins tanked in August. The Canes rolled over and died in Gainesville. And the Dolphins? May the good…
via Blue Buddies The ‘Canes and the Golden Panthers are both off this weekend so it falls to one team to embarrass Miami football fans. That’s one task the Dolphins might actually be up to. They’ll travel to Arizona to take on the Cardinals. The Cards haven’t won both of…
via Tampa Bay Former UM player and future “Dancing With The Stars” contestant Warren Sapp called UF Football Coach Urban Meyer “a classless dirtbag” earlier today. Some UM fans, Sapp said, are angry the Gators went for a field goal late in the fourth quarter of last weekend’s game in…
Is it just me, or did anyone else in Miami-Dade connect Judge Jeri Cohen’s recent reelection and her decision to approve the Marlins ballpark as a “public purpose” on Tuesday. Cohen’s ruling was a model of contradictions, citing the Marlins refusal to make their finances public and the uselessness of…
Unfortunately, this guy’s drunkeness pre-dates Youtube. Westword, our sister paper in Denver, apparently has a lot of time on its hands as it recovers from that city’s DNC hangover. Only that could explain their “Cities with the Drunkest Football Fans Tournament” — which may be the most exhaustive collection of…
Ok, maybe not all of us. Just the Miami Hurricanes! In a post that is meant to finally bridge the gap between Sports Illustrated devotees and In Touch Weekly readers 8 Donkeys pairs the ACC teams with their logical female celebrity counterparts. The ‘Canes apparently are the gridiron manifestation of…
Around the middle of the third quarter Sunday, nine Miami-Dade cops marched into my section at the Dolphins game and dragged off a vociferous Jets fan, who flashed the crowd a victory sign as he headed for the calaboose. That kinda said it all. Sunday’s Dolphin game, which the team…
Favre loosing the Mary bowl. The Dolphins-Jets rivalry is always heated, but things got extra spicy during the off season when the Jets signed a promising little quarterback by the name of Brett Favre (keep an eye on this guy, he could be going places!) and dropped long time QB…
It’s college football’s best part-time rivalry, Miami Hurricanes versus Florida Gators — but the Gators have been left with out a win since 1985. The last time the teams played was New Year’s Eve 2004 in the Peach Bowl. This time though the tables are turned as the Gators are…
So Miami, we need to have a little talk. See, there’s this major league baseball team in town. Yes, right here in Miami. They’re called the Marlins. They have uniforms and play other major league baseball teams and even have a couple of All Stars hanging around. In fact, they…
Seems like only yesterday the Marlins were coming back against teams, overcoming seemingly insurmountable deficits and generally making life miserable for the Mets and Phillies while making a run at history. The Marlins were within grasp of the NL East. Now, they’re a walking disaster. Coming out of the All-Star…
via Sportaphile 86’d Johnson for 85 With 99 to 1 odds that the Dolphins will win the Super Bowl, it’s just too depressing to think about them. Until they improve I’ll keep my attention on a certain Cinicinati Bengal’s wide receiver from Liberty City who makes my head hurt too,…
via Dolphin Stadium Randy Shannon probably would have scheduled a pee wee football team as the opponent in the Hurricanes’ Dolphin Stadium debut tonight if he could have gotten away with it. Instead they’re facing FCS (formerly known as Division I-AA) team Charleston Southern. The CSU Bucaneers are 0-4 against…
Photo via Wikimedia Commons Forbes, the business magazine that specializes in creating useless lists and manages to somehow still remain relevant, has bestowed Miami the honor dishonor of being the worst city to be a sports fan. Riptide couldn’t agree more, but for drastically different reasons. Forbes based their results…
Photo via wikimedia commons Bolt sprinting into Dolphins stadium? Media Take Out is one of the craziest rumor mongers on the web. Sample headlines: “UH UHHHHH!!! CHECK OUT MORGAN FREEMAN’S BUST IT BABY … THAT’S WHO HE LEFT HIS WIFE FOR??????” and “WORD ON THE STREET!! Fantasia And Young Dro…
Photo via Wikimedia Commons Misty May-Treanor no doubt owes her second Gold Medal to the noted coaching skills of George W. Bush. The Marlins are mostly poorly paid rooks. Most don’t have championship gold at home. But catcher Matt Treanor will get to touch his wife’s gold medal. That is,…
(image via flickr) There are many reasons an outsider might not want to be caught in Liberty City in nothing but a speedo. But an impromptu 100-meter butterfly challenge would seem to be the least of one’s worries. According to Cincinnati Bangles wide receiver Chad Johnson, Liberty City is one…
Coming into these Olympic games, it seemed as if Dwyane Wade was only known for being the pitchman for a Chinese sex pill (without his permission). Oh, and a guy who once won an NBA title or something. Now, the Chinese are chanting his name when he walks by: “Wade-a!…
