You can call 911 to come put out a fire, but that fire better not be in your pants. Yes, a Florida man sits behind bars after he tried to use 911 as his own personal sex service. He called the emergency service to request that female deputies report to…
Perhaps no industry geared up for the Republican National Convention like Tampa’s strip club scene. Clubs redecorated, added extra privacy, revamped their food menus, and even brought in famous talent. Yet, on Sunday night at least, the clubs seemed pretty barren ahead of the start of the convention…
The Miami Dolphins have traded former first-round pick Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2013 second-rounder as well as a conditional late-round pick. Obviously, this is a move that makes sense on several fronts given the Midas-like wealth of talent the Dolphins possess at virtually every position on…
The worst of Tropical Storm Isaac has officially blown through the Keys and into the Gulf this morning, though its sloppy remains are still drenching Dade. Riptide’s storm experts have begun tallying the damage Isaac wrought in Florida: 80,000 or so without power, minor flooding here and there, and dozens…
Your average Carnival cruise offers plenty of entertainment options. You can stuff yourself full of deli meats and warmed-over pasta at the buffet. You can swim in a chlorinated pool in the middle of an ocean. You can pretend to like shuffleboard. Or, like Orlando resident Kurt Gies, you can…
If you’re like us at Riptide, your eyes have been rolling all morning watching NBC 6, CBS 4, Local 10, and WSVN make fools of themselves reporting on the “awful” conditions brought by Tropical Storm Isaac. Yeah, there’s been some rain and wind, and Miami even experienced some brownouts last night,…
It’s happening, people! Southern Miami-Dade and the Florida Keys are under a hurricane watch as Tropical Storm Isaac keeps moving northwest at 17 mph. The northern part of the county remains under a hurricane warning.The latest NOAA update has the storm making landfall in Cuba with max sustained winds at…
Marco Rubio loves Nicki Minaj. We’re just going to guess that World’s Greatest Elevator Music Vol. 1 is Bill Nelson’s favorite album of all time. But what does Republican Senate candidate Connie Mack IV listen to? Confederate flag-embracing rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd, of course…
Today’s photo comes from Jaiphoneography’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Rush Limbaugh sure knows a lot about hot air, so, you know, he’s pretty much an expert on hurricanes. He seems to think that President Barack Obama is personally responsible for guiding Tropical Storm Isaac to Tampa, or something. Nothing he says really makes much sense…
Jennifer Lopez sold her Miami Beach mansion for $13.9 million back in 2005. The new owners originally put the La Gorce Island home on the market for $29 million in 2010. It didn’t sell, so now they’ve changed the price. A discount? No. It’s now listed for $40 million. All…
A Florida teenager is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the dick. Obviously, all of Florida is hoping and praying that this genius will recover and one day be able to procreate.The incident happened early Thursday morning in Port St. Lucie. Police arrived at the local hospital to check out…
Is tropical storm Isaac God’s way of smiting Tod Akin for saying stupid sh*t? Is it a coincidence that the squall is set to touch down at the very moment that Rick Scott takes to the podium in Tampa? Does Jesus just hate the GOP?Get a hold of yourself, man!…
Riptide’s Crack Weather Team has just issued this update on Tropical Storm Isaac: 9:45 AM EST/ Wind shear and disorganized flow have hampered Isaac’s development, but a dip in low pressure means by that this afternoon Isaac will begin inexorably raging with the blind, horrible fury of a pack of…
See also, “Photos: Remembering Hurricane Andrew” and “Hurricane Andrew at 20: Miami Herald Reporters Remember.”Twenty years ago today, Hurricane Andrew made landfall at Elliott Key as a Category Five monster before tearing west through Miami-Dade and leaving $26.5 billion in damage in its wake. In 1992, Miamians didn’t have cell…
Dear Democratic Party of Florida,Rumors have been swirling that Charlie Crist would be joining your party ever since he got his ass handed to him Tea-Party style in the 2010 Senate race. Now there’s very specific gossip going around that he’ll announce his official membership in your party in a…
Today’s photo comes from SeanWasHere’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Kat Stacks, a former South Florida stripper and infamous hip-hop groupie, is now facing deportation. Stacks, whose real name is Andrea Herrera, has been ordered by a judge to return to her native Venezuela.Stacks came to prominence a few years ago with a Twitter account and YouTube channel on which…
David Caton, the founder and sole employee of the Florida Family Association, seems to be an in-joke among journalists. Need a ridiculous quote for your story from someone associated with the Christian right? Contact Caton and he’ll certainly supply you with one.Regarding the hullabaloo over Barbie’s new limited-edition “drag queen”…
No longer will Miamians have to drive to the far western reaches of Broward County to get our fix of cheap Swedish-designed furniture. IKEA is finally coming to Miami-Dade, with plans for a store in Sweetwater, next door to the Dolphin Mall, to open as early as fall 2014…
Well, that didn’t take long. The bizarre campaign of Justin Lamar Sternad in the District 26 Democratic primary is under investigation by the FBI and Miami-Dade Police Department, according to the Miami Herald. His campaign’s deep connections to Republican Rep. David Rivera definitely appear to be more than coincidental. The whole campaign…
From the moment Mitt Romney picked budget radical Paul Ryan as his running mate, one of the biggest question is how the Wisconsin rep would play in Florida. Romney desperately needs the swing state, but Ryan’s plans to turn Medicare into a voucher system — not to mention his shaky…
