Here’s Video of Some Lunatic Towing a Flaming Boat on a Miami-Dade Highway

To live in Miami is to constantly feel as if you’re trapped in an abandoned David Lynch film. Seminude men with face tattoos rollerblade through traffic in broad daylight, dilapidated buildings could be infested with anything from peacocks to bears to trained circus seals, and flaming boats just sometimes drive down the highway and everyone acts like things are cool.

Miami Beach Debates Whether to Shut Down Ocean Drive Liquor Sales at 2 a.m.

After another Memorial Day weekend marred by gunshots, a stabbing and a fatal police shooting, Miami Beach politicians’ responses ran the gamut from straight-up racist to deeply misguided to reactionary. This morning, the city will debate where exactly on that spectrum falls Mayor Phillip Levine’s call to roll back drinking hours on…

A Five-Step Plan for the Heat to Challenge the Golden State Warriors

We are three games into the NBA finals, and to no one’s surprise, it looks as if the Golden State Warriors are simply on another level than every other team. With Kevin Durant already verbally committed to returning next season to the most dominant team in the NBA, it’s clear that for the foreseeable future, all roads to a championship lead through Oakland, California.

Miami-Dade Approves $9 Million Land Sale to David Beckham for Stadium

After four years and an absurd hopscotch around Dade County in search of a stadium site, David Beckham and his partners are closer than ever to finally bringing a Major League Soccer team to Miami. Commissioners voted 9-4 this afternoon to sell a county-owned parcel of land in Overtown to Beckham’s group for $9 million — the final piece of land needed to begin work on a stadium next to the Miami River.

Activist Groups, Local Mayors Blast MDPD’s Plan to Spy on Dade With Planes

In 2012, Homeland Security Bureau operatives within Miami-Dade County Police started tracking the social-media accounts of Occupy Miami protesters. The cops tracked Occupy protesters’ every day, sending out “situational awareness” bulletins to specific officers when activists hosted events as innocuous as a “Jazz Night.” Muhammed Malik, a local civil rights…

Psychic Scams Steal Millions From Unwitting Victims

Annie had three evil spirits inside her. Well, actually, two: One was pregnant with a cute little baby evil spirit. Annie, a tough, athletic 31-year-old, learned of the problem during a walk near her Manhattan apartment, when a slightly chubby, blond teen dressed in a long, loose-fitting shirt stopped her…

Sea-Level-Rise Warrior Philip Levine Can’t Answer Basic Paris Agreement Question

Tucker Carlson is such an insufferable little snot that he was forced to stop wearing bow ties because they made him look like the estranged son Orville Redenbacher wrote out of his will. The premise of Carlson’s poisonous cable-news TV show is to catch liberal politicians and pundits in manufactured “Gotcha!” moments that then feed the conservative clickbait blogosphere for another seven days. If you appear on his show and let him nail you, it is entirely your fault. His show is useless, and you are a mark.

Miami Beach Commissioner Threatens to Force Purdy Lounge to Close at 2 a.m.

For 17 years, Purdy Lounge has been the low-key antidote to South Beach’s overhyped, overpriced, and overcrowded club scene. The Sunset Harbour mainstay has never charged a cover to enter its dimly lit interior, where separate rooms pump out old-school hip-hop and current dance hits, all with reasonably priced cocktails flowing.

History Shows the Heat Won’t Get Anything With the 14th Pick

At one point last season, the Miami Heat held the projected second-overall pick in this year’s NBA draft. That’s what an 11-30 record gets you: lots of Ping-Pong balls and, if you’re lucky, a franchise-player building block to un-suck yourself right quick. What a miraculous 30-11 second half of the season gets you is a lot of good feelings, pats on the asses, and the 14th overall selection in the draft.

Florida ACLU Condemns MDPD’s Request for Widespread Surveillance Airplanes

The Miami-Dade Police Department has already applied for a $500,000 Department of Justice grant to fly planes over the county that can record and track the movements of the city’s population. These “wide-area surveillance” systems were originally developed to track insurgents planting car bombs during the Iraq War — but now the technology is being used on American civilians.

Miami Beach Cop Fired for Racist Emails Sues to Get His Job Back

After he was fired for sending dozens of racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and pornographic messages from his city email account, Miami Beach Police Lt. Alex Carulo apologized to internal investigators. “It was foolish, poor judgment on my part, and I accept full responsibility,” he said. “It is what it is.”