Riptide’s Five Rules of Urban Bike Survival

Carrrrrreful This Sunday, the county Parks and Rec Department and the Florida Bicycle Assoctation will host a “Road 1 Bike-Ed Class” at Marjory Stoneman Douglas Biscayne Nature Center in Crandon Park. Class curriculum includes fixing flats, choosing a bike, and riding safety. The flyer boasts that “Students will gain confidence…

Green Tide

Just as the sun was reaching its highest point in the sky, Lou Greenwell realized he could see again. During a morning spent paddling across Blackwater Sound just off Key Largo, Greenwell, 70 years old, had begun to wonder if there was any end to the shadowy mass that stretched…

Hit and Run Hero

Payfront Park Filed Under: Culture First-run movies every night on a 60-foot-high screen in a beautiful grassy spot by the water? Excellent idea. Fencing off about 40,000 square feet of prime downtown Miami green space 24 hours a day, seven days a week? Maybe not so excellent. Since it set…

Unfriendly Fire

Larry Jackson could be excused for disliking cops. After all, the 48-year-old found himself on the wrong end of a Taser this past September 2 after three City of Miami police officers mistakenly stopped him at gunpoint, then — he claims — manhandled and cursed at him. The thing is,…

Chuck-tastic

On a cold February night, as big rigs chugged in and out of the secluded industrial loop that is NW 79th Avenue, a half-dozen young men swathed in diamond jewelry and baggy clothing sipped Dixie cups filled with Hennessy in a warehouse parking lot in Doral. The air outside the…

Not That Howard Stern

Say what you will about radio personality (a weak description, I know, but aren’t you tired of the term “shock jock?”) Howard Stern: These days, he’s looking positively wholesome compared to his doppelganger, Anna Nicole Smith paramour Howard K. Stern. Stern was in Miami over the weekend, having recently popped…

Pricey Coffee, Free T

Conquering the world, one cup at a time The good people at Starbucks — otherwise known as Home Of The $5 Coffee — want you to know it’s okay to hold up the line and order an extra-hot, tall, lite-foam, half-caf, extra sprinkles, non-fat, mocha-capp. In fact, they encourage it…

Tasty ‘Cakes

Approximately two decades after it hit New York City, the great cupcake baking trend appears to have finally made its way to Miami, the bottom of America’s funnel. While the editorial staff at New Times are partial to the vegan creations of staff writer Tamara Lush (who modestly deflects credit…

Rewarding the Dictator

A press champion This week in Cuba: Cuban officials have declined to renew a reporting visa for a reporter for the Chicago Tribune, Gary Marx, saying that his stories have been “negative.” The reporter has been ordered to leave Havana pronto. And…bedridden dictator Fidel Castro has received a press freedom…

Fireworks Over Overtown

Who thought Democracy in action could be so entertaining? On Tuesday night, Miami’s Urban Environment League held a quaint-sounding discussion on the future of Overtown as part of its ongoing “dinner series” at the Miami River Inn. After a wine reception and a hearty pasta dinner, fireworks ensued. “I might…

Dress My Salad with Rancho

As we drove down Okeechobee Road toward Club Rancho Grande last Saturday, my friend started recalling the last time she was there: She got stuck in traffic for an hour, she remembered, because a gunshot victim was being airlifted from the rancho next door. That was Rancho Gaspar, site of…

Cage Rage

With sweat pouring down his chiseled torso and a crimson blanket of blood cloaking his cocoa-color skin, Din “Dinyero” Thomas turned and padded barefoot away from his opponent, Clay Guida. Head back, mouth open, he gasped, desperately trying to quell the burning fire in his lungs. It was little more…

His Satanic Majesty’s Request

His Satanic Majesty’s Request Filed Under: Flotsam Sixty-year-old José Luis de Jesús Miranda has called himself the reincarnation of the apostle Paul; “the Other,” a spiritual super-being who would pave the way for Jesus Christ’s second coming; and, eventually, God’s son incarnate. “My purpose,” he explained to New Times last…

The Ship’s Shape

Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and its fifteen-year-old Majesty of the Seas could use a little good news. The Miami-based company has been under assault lately. On January 20 the Los Angeles Times reported the world’s second-largest cruise ship firm had apparently tried to bury reports of 200-plus rapes, batteries, and…

The Princess of Miami

Traffic on Collins Avenue in Miami Beach was at a standstill. A few tired-looking drivers rolled down windows and craned their necks, trying to discern the reason for the delay. First came the Thai dancers, their satin costumes gleaming in the streetlights, fingers splayed, cheeks rouged, golden spires on their…

Dollar Dollar Bills, Y’all

Back up the Brinks truck, baby, it’s budget-busting time: Readers of this morning’s Herald can be forgiven if the dollar signs in their eyes distracted them from the finer print. First, the lead story asked this tantalizing question: “Could Florida end the homeowner property tax?” The answer: Well, maybe, but…

Best in Brew

Good to the last drop The Cocounut Cup annual homebrewing competition came to its boozy finale at the Titanic Restaurant and Brewery this past Saturday around five in the afternoon. Judging began at nine in the morning (the fourth consecutive day of heavy judging/boozing for most present) with Belgian entries,…

Britney’s Almost-Miami Meltdown

A close shave Miami was just one missed flight away from being the city of Britney Spears’ meltdown. People magazine is reporting that Britney almost missed her flight from Miami to L.A. on Friday, but a kind gate agent allowed her on at the last minute: Come to think of…

Wine in a Box

Tastier than it looks Ryan Sproulee sauntered into the New Times office Friday afternoon, yet another vendor in town for the boat show. The chipper, silver haired man produced three black milk-carton sized boxes containing the equivalent of 12 bottles of wine —the finest box wine, Sproulee conteded, in the…

Boat Show Blows into Miami

Hanse, solo Miamarina at Bayside was relatively quiet Wednesday night, as a small squad of handlers put the final coats of wax on the sailboats in preparation for this weekend’s Miami International Boat Show, which is expected to draw more than 200,000 visitors this weekend. On the way out to…

The Ballad of Octavio and Rixi

On a recent night, I was out on the beach, pickling my ginger a bit with an oversized bottle of High Life, when I saw two men walking towards me across the sand. I had just stashed the bubbly when they got to me and asked for a cigarette in…

School Board Bans Trans Fats

No trans-fatty fries allowed The Miami Dade School Board voted last night to become the first district in the nation to ban trans fats in food – not that you would know it by reading this morning’s Herald, which buried the news in the last graf of a story on…