In response to the recent less-than-stellar weather here in South Florida, Critical Miami offers some advice: Appropriately, I recommend cowering in the air-conditioned box, or going whole hog and heading down to the beach and sweating it out in direct sunlight. For those of you that can’t take the heat,…
This dude is proudly sporting his University of Miami threads. He looks pretty upset, though. Maybe he’s still getting over last football season. It was hard for everyone, man…
”We are arresting virtually an entire arm of city government.” – Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernández Rundle, after announcing that 11 city of Miami workers were charged with corruption on Thursday. The employees are accused of doing design and planning work for outside companies on city time. – Tamara Lush…
The South Beach Man Whore has finally gotten a clue: So, the size of my dick has nothing on the size of my ego. Well, one would assume as much, since he proudly refers to himself as The South Beach Man Whore. For a guy that claims to be such…
It looks like these guys got dressed together, or at least planned out their outfits so that they would compliment each other. They also both managed to wear socks with sandals. I’m not sure if this has recently become acceptable, but I still don’t see the need for socks…
It is an astounding statistic: 99 percent of all new restaurants go out of business within the first six minutes. Or something like that. Still, this doesn’t deter one feckless restaurateur after another from trying their hands at the hazardous game. They all go in confident that they’ve got something…
To get to No Name Key, travel the Seven Mile Bridge over a turquoise expanse of Florida Bay and turn right at the first stoplight after Marathon, on Big Pine Key. Drive slowly in consideration of the key deer flitting through the underbrush. Continue past a strip mall housing a…
Souto Steamed Over Suit Support Filed under: News In their battle to stop Jorge Perez’s luxury condo project on land owned by Mercy Hospital, supporters of Vizcaya have drawn the ire of Miami-Dade County Commissioner Javier Souto. Last week Souto introduced legislation ordering the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens Trust to…
Elena McMahan is disarmingly soft-spoken. She keeps her head lowered as she begins a conversation barely above a whisper. She wears a head scarf that identifies her as a member of the Russian Orthodox church (she’s Ukrainian), and she speaks to her two young children, Vladimir, age five, and Elizabeth,…
Investigative journalist Mike Kirsch remembers undercover cops pinning him against his car in Cicero, Illinois, in the late Eighties, when he was working for a CBS affiliate. He says the officers were miffed that he was investigating a tip that they’d accepted favors from some neighborhood hookers. In 1996, while…
Hi Lee, Hope you have been doing well. Memory jog – About a year ago, I read your “foie gras” story which changed my life. My husband Tony and I decided togo vegetarian. I wanted to update you on our progress: I have become quite the creative vegetarian cook, not…
Robert from 26th Parallel criticizes Mayor Manny Diaz’s lack of progress in the development of Downtown Miami in his latest blog: When citizens cynically complain that all Manny Diaz cares about is more and more high-rise developments to fill up city coffers, it’s hard to argue with them despite whatever…
Tattoos often have the effect of making a dude look tougher than he really is. This guy probably realizes this, hence the wifebeater, but his style choices make him look anything but tough. Those shorts? Definitely not tough. And that belt buckle has got to go. His girl isn’t looking…
The shocking news came late Tuesday afternoon, when the South Florida Concierge Association sent an email out to local hotels with the following message: We have received word from Pacific Time that they have closed their doors effective immediately. Chef/proprietor Jonathan Eismann helped pioneer the resurgence of Lincoln Road by…
Google Street View A Google-eye view of South Beach For nearly a month now, Google Street View has provided an innovative new way to procrastinate: digitally wandering the corridors and byways of our fair city. Google’s spokesperson was vague when asked why the company chose Miami in its initial launch…
With much resistance coming from both the county and Wackenhut, H. Mark Veith, the attorney suing the County’s largest security provider, was able to obtain the preliminary findings of a county audit of the company, early last week. New Times wrote about the lawsuit this past September. Veith handed the…
Terry Brown, before the storm Wednesday, as lightning licked the skyline and a wall of thunderclouds bore down on Miami, New Times took a bicycle along the shoulder of the Julia Tuttle Causeway to meet Terry Brown, soon to be its newest resident. Last March, New Times wrote about three…
Dads are like assholes. Or not. That’s the thing — they’re all so damn different! So before deciding on a father’s day destination, it helps to define what type of man he is. Here’s an easy-to-use guide (meaning short of length and no big words) of recommendations specific to your…
Miami-Dade County’s Office of the Inspector General released its annual report for fiscal year 2006 last week. For those who want a primer on corruption in Miami, the report is a great place to start. The OIG does audits and investigations looking for waste and fraud. Among the 20 arrests…
Child’s play? Camel racing doesn’t sound particulary insidious, but an unusual federal case pending in Miami is full of unthinkably dark details. In a class action complaint filed against two sheik brothers from the United Arab Emirates, attorneys for thousands of young Asian and African boys allege boys from 2…
Bazooka Babes Filed under: Culture In a lush field somewhere deep in the heart of Homestead, a gorgeous brunet in a brown bikini lies atop a camouflage tarp, cradling a .50-caliber sniper rifle. The firearm’s muzzle is as long as her deliciously toned, boot-strapped legs. Despite the brutal heat and…
On a recent weekday, Samuel Wright plowed through the scrubby bushes at Crandon Park, passing the stinging nettle, stepping over a prickly pear cactus, and carefully avoiding a poisonwood tree with shiny brown leaves. He wore a white T-shirt printed with a road race logo, tan cargo pants, and a…
