Harsh Realizations

The South Beach Man Whore has finally gotten a clue: So, the size of my dick has nothing on the size of my ego. Well, one would assume as much, since he proudly refers to himself as The South Beach Man Whore. For a guy that claims to be such…

Style Soldiers

It looks like these guys got dressed together, or at least planned out their outfits so that they would compliment each other. They also both managed to wear socks with sandals. I’m not sure if this has recently become acceptable, but I still don’t see the need for socks…

New Restaurant News: DeVito’s, Twinkie Tiramisu, and More

It is an astounding statistic: 99 percent of all new restaurants go out of business within the first six minutes. Or something like that. Still, this doesn’t deter one feckless restaurateur after another from trying their hands at the hazardous game. They all go in confident that they’ve got something…

Clever Green

To get to No Name Key, travel the Seven Mile Bridge over a turquoise expanse of Florida Bay and turn right at the first stoplight after Marathon, on Big Pine Key. Drive slowly in consideration of the key deer flitting through the underbrush. Continue past a strip mall housing a…

Souto Steamed Over Suit Support

Souto Steamed Over Suit Support Filed under: News In their battle to stop Jorge Perez’s luxury condo project on land owned by Mercy Hospital, supporters of Vizcaya have drawn the ire of Miami-Dade County Commissioner Javier Souto. Last week Souto introduced legislation ordering the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens Trust to…

Daddy’s Dog

Elena McMahan is disarmingly soft-spoken. She keeps her head lowered as she begins a conversation barely above a whisper. She wears a head scarf that identifies her as a member of the Russian Orthodox church (she’s Ukrainian), and she speaks to her two young children, Vladimir, age five, and Elizabeth,…

Exposé Fray

Investigative journalist Mike Kirsch remembers undercover cops pinning him against his car in Cicero, Illinois, in the late Eighties, when he was working for a CBS affiliate. He says the officers were miffed that he was investigating a tip that they’d accepted favors from some neighborhood hookers. In 1996, while…

Ask the Food Critic: Design District Dining

Hi Lee, Hope you have been doing well. Memory jog – About a year ago, I read your “foie gras” story which changed my life. My husband Tony and I decided togo vegetarian. I wanted to update you on our progress: I have become quite the creative vegetarian cook, not…

Downtown Dilemma

Robert from 26th Parallel criticizes Mayor Manny Diaz’s lack of progress in the development of Downtown Miami in his latest blog: When citizens cynically complain that all Manny Diaz cares about is more and more high-rise developments to fill up city coffers, it’s hard to argue with them despite whatever…

Style Soldiers

Tattoos often have the effect of making a dude look tougher than he really is. This guy probably realizes this, hence the wifebeater, but his style choices make him look anything but tough. Those shorts? Definitely not tough. And that belt buckle has got to go. His girl isn’t looking…

Pacific Time Clocks Out

The shocking news came late Tuesday afternoon, when the South Florida Concierge Association sent an email out to local hotels with the following message: We have received word from Pacific Time that they have closed their doors effective immediately. Chef/proprietor Jonathan Eismann helped pioneer the resurgence of Lincoln Road by…

Google Street View Paints a Less-Than-Pretty Pic of Miami

Google Street View A Google-eye view of South Beach For nearly a month now, Google Street View has provided an innovative new way to procrastinate: digitally wandering the corridors and byways of our fair city. Google’s spokesperson was vague when asked why the company chose Miami in its initial launch…

Where to Take Dad to Eat for Father’s Day

Dads are like assholes. Or not. That’s the thing — they’re all so damn different! So before deciding on a father’s day destination, it helps to define what type of man he is. Here’s an easy-to-use guide (meaning short of length and no big words) of recommendations specific to your…

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Miami-Dade County’s Office of the Inspector General released its annual report for fiscal year 2006 last week. For those who want a primer on corruption in Miami, the report is a great place to start. The OIG does audits and investigations looking for waste and fraud. Among the 20 arrests…

Local Lawsuit Reveals Darks Side of Camel Racing

Child’s play? Camel racing doesn’t sound particulary insidious, but an unusual federal case pending in Miami is full of unthinkably dark details. In a class action complaint filed against two sheik brothers from the United Arab Emirates, attorneys for thousands of young Asian and African boys allege boys from 2…

Bazooka Babes

Bazooka Babes Filed under: Culture In a lush field somewhere deep in the heart of Homestead, a gorgeous brunet in a brown bikini lies atop a camouflage tarp, cradling a .50-caliber sniper rifle. The firearm’s muzzle is as long as her deliciously toned, boot-strapped legs. Despite the brutal heat and…

Comeback Caterpillar

On a recent weekday, Samuel Wright plowed through the scrubby bushes at Crandon Park, passing the stinging nettle, stepping over a prickly pear cactus, and carefully avoiding a poisonwood tree with shiny brown leaves. He wore a white T-shirt printed with a road race logo, tan cargo pants, and a…

Once upon a Time in Miami

Once upon a time in Cuba, there was a little boy named Anthony Enriquez. When he was just a baby, the family moved to Puerto Rico. Later they came to Miami. It was a nice place. When Anthony turned seventeen, he bought a giant stone eagle that weighed a hundred…

Miami Immigration Judge a Would-Be Pol

An article in Monday’s Washington Post analyzed the appointment of immigration judges since 2004 and found that many of the 37 judges chosen under Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez had political ties to the Republican party. Their analysis also revealed that of the appointees with background in immigration law, all were…

Screw the Hummer. Buy a Tango.

What gets 70 miles to the gallon, cruises along at 50 mph and runs on three wheels? The RTM Tango, a little egg-shaped scooter-car. The company, RTM Group Inc. is based in Miami and builds the three-wheelers in Uruguay. Although the vehicle cannot travel on the interstate, it does sport…