Jose Canseco spent his time on Celebrity Apprentice being as boring as possible and playing a lot of catch with Meatloaf. Then he left early, saying his father was deathly ill. Then Canseco was supposed to fight in a celebrity boxing match in Hollywood, but tried to send his twin…
Dwyane Wade did a vicious Euro-step crossover on Kevin Garnett that transcended all time and space, and left KG a smoking heap of charred douche. Moments later, Wade crossed over Ray Allen so badly, Allen simply crumpled onto the court like his spine was removed from his body.Later on, LeBron…
When Carlos Alvarez was booted from office on March 15, the largest local recall election in U.S. history sent a clear message to the Miami establishment: no more inside-the-beltway politics. Six weeks later, however, that lesson seems already forgotten.Yesterday, the Miami Foundation held a debate at UM between those vying…
The right to blast your crappy music through your car stereo at top volume while driving down the road with minimal repercussions is a right that many Miamians hold dear and regularly exercise. But recently some politicians in Tallahassee wanted to strip us of this basic freedom. Thankfully, the Florida…
Think you have the world’s worst boss? At least he isn’t accused of shooting you to death. Adolfo Perez, a 61 year-old Hialeah businessman, turned himself into today after he allegedly shot and killed 48-year-old Jesus Torres, a former employee, after the two fought about money…
Today’s photo comes from LianaRosePhoto’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
We now live a world where you can’t even bring large amounts of gel on an airplane, so you’d think that every passenger would make sure they wouldn’t bring their gun with them through airport security. Though, apparently two people were stopped at Miami International Airport today with in minutes…
For the third straight year not a single University of Miami player was selected in the first round of the NFL draft, which is a bit of a sore point for a team that still holds the record for most consecutive NFL drafts with at least one player taken in…
The U.S. government spends millions of dollars every year transmitting news (or something like it) to Cuba through Radio y Televisión Martí’s studios in Miami with the aim of balancing the government-controlled Cuban press. But there’s little indication that the program is effective or that many Cubans receive the broadcasts…
The last time the Heat was in the second round of the NBA playoffs, Udonis Haslem and Shaquille O’Neal were a big part of the team. Will history, though a bit altered, repeat itself tonight in Game 2 against the Boston Celtics? Update: Nope. …
Marco Rubio and Rick Scott, the two most high-profile Republicans in the state, both got elected on the backs of campaigns that never skimped on criticizing Barack Obama, but the two have nothing but praise for the president after he announced the death of Osama bin Laden…
What’s next, cretinous drug dealers? Betting on which baby pops out first at maternity wards? ESPN’s Outside the Lines spent some times in the stands watching South Florida Youth Football League games– which feature 30,000 kids aged 5 to 15 from Palm Beach to Miami– and emerged with a pretty…
Chris Bosh hand-delivered a giant turd sandwich against the Boston Celtics this weekend, shooting three of ten from the field for 7 points. But cut the guy some slack. He may have had other battles on his mind.Bosh filed a lawsuit yesterday against his ex-girlfriend and a TV company in…
We’re a year from the new Marlins Stadium opening, but it’s already one of the most hated edifices ever built in Miami. (Just ask Carlos Alvarez). So while we spend the next 40 years paying down the $2.4 billion in interest on this elephant we never wanted and didn’t get…
Pope John Paul II may have died six years ago, but the recently beatified Pole still packs quite a holy punch. At least, so believes Peruvian president Alan Garcia, who credited JPII for “removing” Osama Bin Laden earlier today during the dedication of a hydroelectric power station in Cusco. “His…
Red light cameras are the absolute worst. Defenders says they make intersections safer, though study after study shows that lengthening yellow lights is actually much more effective. Though, yellow lights don’t bring in money. (And lets be honest, for many local governments the red light cameras are all about the…
Have you ever been to a nudist resort? Those hoping to be amongst unclothed young things might be a little overwhelmed by the sight of wrinkled flesh. Apparently, America’s nudist community is alarmed that its membership is graying and is now desperately trying to attract younger participants into its clothes-free…
Today’s photo comes from Burnt Umber’s Flickr, who believes it may be of a structure left over from a trailer park devastated by Hurricane Andrew. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
At a news conference today, Boston University researchers announced that Dave Duerson, the former NFL player who committed suicide in Sunny Isles Beach and donated his brain for testing, was indeed afflicted with the brain trauma common in former players. Duerson, who won two Super Bowl rings in an 11-year…
When I visited Guantánamo Bay on the eve of President Barack Obama’s inauguration, two things seemed certain: that the hated prison would soon be shuttered and that it would go down in history as one of America’s worst follies.Two years later, the camp is still running strong and Osama bin…
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is a powerful man. The part-time Miami resident has an NCAA football championship ring with the ’91 Hurricanes, the best opening for a movie in April with his latest flick, Fast Five, and apparently access to top-secret information long before the general public. Hours before Osama bin Laden’s…
Florida Sen. Marco Rubio has said time and time again he won’t run for president in 2012, and while he hadn’t exactly been stoking the flames, he had left the door just a crack open that he’d perhaps consider running for vice president. Well, yesterday he shut that door, announcing…
