With 34 years on his relatively skinny frame, the Miami Heat’s Shane Battier may not be the most physically intimidating power forward in the NBA, but damn it if he’s not one of smartest. The Duke-educated (it’s the Harvard of the south, you know …) Battier is so sure of…
Some votes are still being counted in Florida, but you can finally color in the state with the faintest shade of light blue. Mitt Romney’s campaign has just released a statement finally acknowledging that they’ve lost Florida…
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Earl K. Wood sure as hell didn’t let a little thing like his own death stop him from winning an election one final time. He was first elected as Orange County as Tax Collector in 1964 and held the seat up until his death on October 15th. At 96-years-old, Wood, a…
Here in Florida we still haven’t decided who we’re going to award our 29 electoral votes too, and unlike 2000 it doesn’t matter one bit.”For once, Florida’s clusterfucker is irrelevant,” declared Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. “It’s like hearing, ‘Good news America, the tumor on your dong is benign.'”Dong…
Conventional wisdom would have it that Rep. David Rivera’s nearly 11-point loss to Democratic challenger Joe Garcia might have had something to do with all those scandals Rivera currently finds himself embroiled in. Rivera however was never much for conventional wisdom. He maintains that changing demographics and voter turnout were…
Former WTVJ anchor Joel Connable has passed away at the age of 39. Connable co-anchored WTVJ nightly newscasts for a brief time in 2008 and 2009, and had married his longtime girlfriend Angela Shlyakhov, a Miami paralegal, just two weeks ago. Connable suffered from diabetes throughout his life and died…
For decades Cuban-Americans have been one of the Republican party’s most reliable bases in Florida. Well, maybe not anymore. Some exit poll analysis suggests that Barack Obama actually outperformed Mitt Romney among Cubans in Florida. While others don’t show him quite pulling off that historic demographic upset, they do paint…
It shouldn’t be this hard. Really! Voters fill in a little bubble showing who they’d like for president. Elections machines tally them up. And whichever guy gets the most votes wins the state. Everywhere else in America, this simple process works just fine.But this is Miami, where two days after…
Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn’t change the fact that your squad is infinitely inferior to…
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Last night, Senator Bill Nelson cruised to an easier than expected reelection, and, because Marco Rubio has some decency, Florida’s junior senator took to Facebook to congratulate Florida’s senior senator. However, a lot of Rubio’s Facebook fans were just not having it…
Miami’s own SNL star turned Tea Party Queen Victoria Jackson is not having a good day. After all, a communist remains in the White House. While it may not have been quite as ridiculous as Donald Trump’s now infamous Twitter meltdown, Jackson vented her emotions on social media and proclaimed…
Today’s photo comes form MayDay Relay’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
It appears that Connie Mack IV won’t even get to return to D.C. as a member of the House spouse’s club. His wife, Mary Bono Mack, served in a House district representing Palm Springs, California, and after coming up short in the early vote tally, local media is now painting…
WSVN has some rather ambitious coverage of the election last night for a local channel. They even sent reporter Blake Burman to the Obama rally in Chicago. Unfortunately there was a bit of awkwardness when WSVN cut to Burman solely because he was standing in the vicinity of a famous…
Things just got a little tougher for Rick Scott and the Republican legislature to pass just about anything they want, as Democrats made small but significant gains in the Florida House last night. The Dems effectively ended the Republican’s supermajority in the body, and may have knocked off Rep. Chris…
