Pat Riley Also Probably Has a Secret Twitter Account

Fresh off a playoff beatdown by the Philadelphia 76ers, plenty of salty Miami Heat fans laughed their way through a report in the Ringer this morning that exploded a tactical weapon wielded by Philly’s front office. The story documents how the Sixers’ president of basketball operations, Bryan Colangelo, has almost certainly kept at least five secret Twitter accounts. On them, he has bashed his team’s biggest stars, divulged secret medical information, and, most important, fiercely defended the weirdly gigantic collars he wears.

South Florida Cop Suspended for Suggesting Someone Run Over David Hogg

Another day, another public official wishing death and dismemberment upon the teenage survivors of the worst school shooting in South Florida history. After a North Miami Beach cop was suspended for calling the Parkland massacre survivors “crisis actors,” and a member of the Parkland Education Advisory Board was outed for…

Five Crazy Moves the Heat Could Make This Off-Season

It’s been only a month since the Miami Heat played its last game of the season — a 104-91 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 5 of the first round of the playoffs — but it feels like ages. Because the Heat has no picks in next month’s NBA Draft and little to no money to spend in free agency this summer, it seems fans are in for a ho-hum, eventless off-season.

Video: False Report of Gunshots Sparks Minor Stampede Near Ocean Drive

After another year of fear-mongering news reports and an overwhelming police presence at Memorial Day festivities in South Beach, the worst gun-related incident of the weekend came after a false rumor of gunfire. A brief panic erupted around 8:15 last night near Ocean Drive, sparking a minor stampede that left one person injured.

Smokable Medical Marijuana Is Legal in Florida, Judge Rules

Florida voters legalized medical marijuana in 2016. But that referendum directed the Florida Legislature — a group dominated by fear-mongering, fun-hating conservatives — to write most of the rules and regulations for medical pot. After a gigantic political battle, the Legislature in 2017 finalized a list of ways that patients could legally ingest medicinal pot…

Subtropical Storm Alberto Forms in Caribbean, Will Drench Miami All Weekend

Six days before hurricane season even begins, we already have our first named storm of the year. And it will absolutely drench South Florida just in time for a three-day weekend. Subtropical Storm Alberto officially formed around 10 a.m. just off the Yucatán Peninsula in the northwestern Caribbean Sea, which means the system has picked up a noticeable rotation and kicked up winds topping 39 mph.

Parkland Activists Stage Die-In at Publix, “Where Shooting Is a Pleasure”

Early this morning, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School survivors and #NeverAgain activists gathered in the dark parking lot of a Coral Springs Publix and began tracing bodies on the asphalt in chalk. When they were finished well before dawn, they’d drawn the outlines of 17 victims and an ominous twist on Publix’s famous slogan: “Where shooting is a pleasure.”

Floridians Really Want Politicians to Expand Medicaid, Data Shows

Remember when Florida activist Cara Jennings confronted Florida governor and Arctic-dwelling trickster demon Rick Scott inside a Starbucks, called him “an asshole” to his face, and asked how he could live with himself after he refused to expand Medicaid in Florida and give more people health care?

Police Now Shuffling Tent City Sex Offenders Around Miami-Dade

In 2009, California artist Scott Gairdner made the “Sex Offender Shuffle,” a viral video parodying Miami-Dade’s treatment of sex offenders. With a catchy beat and ’80s-style cinematography, the four-minute spoof of the 1985 Chicago Bears’ “Super Bowl Shuffle” mocked the way sex offenders are shuffled from one location to another under the guise of public safety.

There’s an 80 Percent Chance a Tropical Depression Forms Off Florida by Memorial Day

There’s already plenty of depression to go around in South Florida before this Memorial Day. Traffic is gonna be a ludicrous nightmare thanks to Miami Beach’s totally not-race-related crackdown on Urban Beach Week. The Marlins belong in the trash can, and the Dolphins will probably be even worse. And now, a tropical depression might just roll over the peninsula for the holiday weekend.

Miami-Dade Cops Shoot Man in Opa-locka Holding a Screwdriver

“They shot me for nothing, man!” a man yells moments after Miami-Dade Police opened fire on him in Opa-locka this past Wednesday. In a Facebook video filmed just after the 1:15 p.m. incident at the Glorieta Gardens Apartments, the man insists he did nothing to cause officers to shoot him.