Microphone Fiend

We see you in your car, thrusting your imaginary gun in the air, rapping furiously to Tupac’s “All Eyez on Me.” Yeah, we point and giggle at you, but deep down we relate because in our little studio apartment we become Lil’ Kim, Ghostface Killa, and Jay-Z on the regular…

You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry

To read an old diary is to painfully confront your former utter, abject dorkiness. Not only did New York-based writer Lesley Arfin save just about every diary she wrote, ever, but also she systematically — ouch — shared them with the worldwide cool-kid diaspora. Once a month, in her “Dear…

You Can Always Get What You Want

The Upper Eastside Garden is known and loved for being a laid-back outdoor oasis where you can while away an afternoon with a piña colada and a game of putt-putt. But the garden has made a subtle transformation. The verdant playground is also a hell of a place for a…

The Yogi’s Revenge

Last summer you blamed “karma” (and your cheating ex-lover) for that weird rash on your bum. But this year you’re gonna thank that bitch for giving you more energy, increased flexibility, and a bangin’ body after an hour of Karma Yoga at the Sports Club LA/Miami. So what’s so karmic…

Hey, Good-Lookin’

You might recognize dreadlocked hottie Govind Armstrong from Iron Chef America, or maybe you first laid eyes on him in People magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People” issue a few years back. He is recognized for his handsomeness but celebrated for his cooking skills. As the owner of the acclaimed restaurant…

Mixed Emotions, Mixed Drinks

Let the record show — we think Ami James and Chris Nuñez are brilliant artists. Over the three seasons Miami Ink has been on the air, our affections have grown for the locally filmed reality show. Now that the hometown artists have taken their A&E television dough and opened up…

Saddle Up and Ride

Miami’s tragically hip (along with the not-so-hip) can take pleasure in the latest addition to Wednesday-night parties: N3ON Pony. A free alternative to the pricey reggaeton-meets-techno-meets-hip-hop clubs, N3ON looks to bring the artsy kids out of their usual downtown/Design District haunts and onto the Art Deco streets of South Beach…

Braves’ New World

It was kind of cute when the Braves went all-in to bring hard-swinging righty Mark Teixeira to Atlanta before the trading deadline, only to go all of 6-5 over their next 11 games with their new first baseman. At the end of that stretch, the Braves were in a virtual…

Van Sant’s First Victory

Director Gus Van Sant brought Matt Dillon’s sexy back with Drugstore Cowboy, gave us Keanu Reeves’s most lifelike performance in My Own Private Idaho, gifted us with Sean Connery’s phrase “You’re the man now, dog” in Finding Forrester, and introduced the world to the toothsome Bostonians Ben Affleck and Matt…

Groovin’ at the Grille

It’s Saturday night and your stomach is growling, hungry for some culinary comfort. So you head to The Mahogany Grille for some soul food, and find yourself indulging in Asiago cheese grits, bread pudding, fried chicken, and waffles. Your belly is full, but you’re still feeling an emptiness deep inside…

Super Sapphic Sunday

If a group of dudes poked their heads through the door tonight at Uva Lounge, they might think they had entered the ultimate straight man’s fantasy. The weekly Sunday-night bash, Ambiance at Uva, is all about sexy ladies getting to know each other and hot dancers shimmying on tabletops. But…

The Lieutenant of Inishmore‘s Bloody Great

A kiss between crazies A riot of blood and wit, The Lieutenant of Inishmore is cinematic, gripping, hilarious, grisly, and poignant all at once. It’s Tarantino live — but with a point. This is theater that demands to be seen. Judging by the Saturday night audience at Gablestage, however, chances…

Kathy Griffin is Going to Hell and Doesn’t Care

Even from the cheap seats you could see the venom spewing from Kathy Griffin’s lips last night as she spoke the name “Ryan Seacrest.” “I can’t stand that bitch!” she screamed in her trademark pitch before an enraptured sold-out crowd at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood. “……

At Lighthouse 37, Saturday’s for Seniors

credit May we have this dance? Where to go on a Saturday night when you’re a lonely, Cuban, senior citizen (or a person who enjoys watching lonely Cuban Senior citizens dance the night away)? Lighthouse 37, baby (the lounge, not the restaurant). If you’ve ever doubted the aphorism: life begins…

Good Cop, Mad Cop

The Lieutenant of Inishmore is a lighthearted political satire prominently featuring four murders, two toenail-pullings, one near-miss nipple amputation, two cats’ brains, six punctured eyeballs, many severed limbs, and something like nine gallons of blood. It is a Grand Guignol explosion of death, violence, and bodily fluids that fuses big…

Our Top DVD Picks Scheduled for Release This Week

All Creatures Great & Small: The Complete Collection (BBC Warner) Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters For DVD (Turner) Back to School: Extra-Curricular Edition (MGM) The Black Widow (First Look) Charlie Chan Collection: Volume 3 (Fox) DangerMouse: The Complete Series (A&E) The Dark Crystal: 25th Anniversary Edition…

Herd on the Street

Amy Johnson wants to knock art off its altar and drag it back to the street, where it belongs. When the veteran of the West Coast DIY scene arrived in Miami last year, she felt like she had parachuted into Hell. “The art scene here seems very elitist and institutional,”…

Art Capsules

Clay and Brush: The Ceramic Art of China: The Lowe’s new exhibit is a penetrating historical survey of the development of Chinese ceramics from the Neolithic period to the 21st Century. The sweeping exhibition, which unfolds chronologically, includes more than 190 objects and is divided into three sections: pottery, stoneware,…

Keeping the Meter Running

Taxi Driver: Collector’s Edition (Sony) “Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads: Here is a man who would not take it anymore.” Martin Scorsese’s 1976 vision of hell as city-of-night New York rips through the reverential treatment on this special edition like a hunter’s blade through deerskin. A second disc of eight…

Nerd Love

The latest comic meteorite to hurtle forth from the galaxy of producer Judd Apatow, Superbad is about a couple of chronically unpopular best friends who, after four years stuck on the lowest rung of the high school social ladder, find themselves invited to a legitimately cool party. Goodbye, Friday nights…

Thou Shalt Not Be Too Funny

It’s impossible to write about David Wain’s The Ten without first making passing reference to Krzysztof Kieslowski’s Dekalog and Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. The former, originally made for Polish TV 20 years ago and first shown in the United States in 2000, offered a modern-day take on the…